MODERN ATHLETES, OLD EQUIPMENT- OH THE HUMANITY!

by Lloyds Apple, DeathRattleSports

In a moment that can only be attributed to boredom or the fact that I must be a very sick, sick person I started thinking about modern day athletes using old equipment. For some sports it may change the game dramatically, while others would just be funny. One of the things that keep things fresh is the evolution of the equipment used.

Tennis has been around since the 1800’s, first being played on grass. Up until recently, I could still get a hold of some of those sweet wood racquets, complete with the wood protecting thingy you could screw over the racquet head. Now the sport is being revolutionized by carbon nanotechnology. On a side note, I read that carbon nanotubes may have effects similar to asbestos exposure. While it probably won’t affect us end users, I would imagine Rafael Nadal would still dominate even with the deadly cancer known as mesothelioma, which results from asbestos exposure.

But seriously this technology also is also used in baseball bats, golf balls and all sorts of other stuff. I think it’s safe to say Tiger Woods would dominate no matter what and this technology will never sniff Major League Baseball.

Falling in line with “funny” would be Shaq in tiny, short shorts (ok that’s just sick). Basketball evolved from a peach basket nailed to a 10-foot elevated track. Some of this I’m not sure if it would hold up to a dunk but it was in 1906 when (14 years after first game) that they finally switched to metal hoops with backboards. Soccer balls were used and, well, even I probably would have dominated back then.

Football actually began over in England in the early 17th century before becoming more organized in the 19th century. Universities in American then took the sport to a whole new level, taking advantage of the forward pass.

It is now a hard hitting sport that features very large (fat) linemen, quick and strong running backs, fluid receivers and tremendous athletes in the defensive backfield. But, what if they ditched the pads and just wore some headgear? I think we would see people trim up a bit and lots and lots of heads roll. Rosters would be doubled and the emergency unit would be working overtime. Damn, that sounds fun!

The games we play will continually evolve in terms of equipment, rules and the only consistent will be crazy ass drunken fans. I take that to heart. That is why to me records are only good for gossip (baseball is only good for gossip) and no matter what boundaries set, people want to see something entertaining and something they’ve never seen before. Because of technology and STEROIDS, that will always be possible.