NICE HIT, BABY

by Sooze, Babes Love Baseball

Congratulations to Texas Rangers backstop Taylor Teagarden on...

• nailing his first big league hit on Sunday.


• enjoying the badassery of that hit being a solo homer.


• totally almost killing a baby with it.


• but instead hitting the dumb broad WHO BROUGHT HER BRAND SPANKIN' NEW BABY TO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW OF THE OUTFIELD SEATS AT A BASEBALL GAME right in the leg.

Though, to be fair, Carlos Gomez timed his jump like it was his first day at outfielders camp. Good thing there aren't any butterflies inside the Metrodome.

In other news, the ESPYs are gayer than Taylor Teagarden's name.

The end.