STUPID SPORTS SH!T: SIT DOWN, STUPID

by Chris Richardson, Intentional Foul

You have to hand it to the Kansas City Chiefs front office. They certainly know how to make a stadium seem inviting to the fans. If it's not putting a substandard product on the field, it's offering hats to fans who have the intestinal fortitude to withstand the Chiefs over an eight-game schedule -- instead of making a commitment to improving the team.

However, their latest move takes the cake and eats it, too. Apparently, the brilliant minds that traded Jared Allen for a bag of peanuts believe the NFL is game best enjoyed from the seat of your pants.

In other words, NO STANDING in Arrowhead Stadium.

Wait, did I hear that right?

The Kansas City Chiefs are asking NFL fans in attendance -- people who have been known to act like this -- to stay in their seats during the game. Is this some kind of joke?

First, they entice with the Lamar Hunt hats to get you in the stadium (if you are season ticket holder), then, once you are in Arrowhead, they tell you to sit the f**k down and don't enjoy yourself. So wait, in order to get the hat, I have to have perfect attendance but in order to attend, I have to stay glued to my seat watching an inferior product trying to improve?

I guess that's the silver lining: it's doubtful Chiefs fans will have a great deal to cheer about this upcoming season -- unless, of course, they like Larry Johnson's use of decorative time pieces -- meaning there won't be many reasons to stand up.

On second thought, this new "no standing" rule fits the overall mood and outlook of the franchise. While the Glenn Dorsey pick generated some goodwill, does it really compensate for the loss of Jared Allen to the Vikings? Admittedly, Dorsey has the potential to be great; but Allen was already one of the best pass rushers in the NFL.

No offense to Dorsey, but I'll take production over potential every time.

So Chiefs fans, here's what you have to look forward to in the fall -- Lamar Hunt hats (if you are season ticket person), inconsistent football, and an overbearing front office that's bound and determined to suck the life out of one of the best NFL environments available.

Bonus: if you are at a Chiefs game and actually support this rule and there are some anarchists who have the audacity to stand up and try to root their team on around you, you can always text message Arrowhead security and they will probably have those cads removed.

Stupid sports shit indeed.