TOP 10 REASONS WHY JASON VARITEK IS AN ALL-STAR

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Too hard to spell Pierzynski, Rodriguez, Suzuki, Napoli, Olivo or Hernandez

9. While his .219 batting average isn't as good as back-up Kevin Cash's .229, he does have the nod in OPS (.661 to .626)

8. He's 36, and might not get to play in many more All-Star Games that he has no business being in

7. Makes the last-place team in your fantasy league feel better about his drafting strategy

6. Gives Tennis Fan an especially bitter moment of Suck It, since people would rather talk about this than the Epic Wimbledon Final

5. Considering that Boston Fan also voted in David Ortiz to DH despite stinking in April and being hurt in June, why the hell not

4. Takes most of the starch out of that Dustin Pedroia over Ian Kinsler argument at second, since Pedroia can actualy play a little

3. American League players who voted Varitek in wanted to make sure that it's not just the fans that can completely bone these picks

2. American League tired of winning every single one of these things

1. Something good had to finally happen for those poor tortured Boston Fans