TOP 10 SPORTS USES FOR A TIME MACHINE

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

You are given the ability to go back in time and prevent specific events in sports history. This is my list of things that I'd change. Special thanks to Epic Staff Writer Tracer Bullet for contributing to this.

10. Jeter Isn't There. The 2001 Oakland A's team was absolutely loaded, with a patient meat grinder of an offense and young starting pitching that was among the best in baseball. After taking the first games of the ALDS in Yankee Stadium, the series shifted to Oakland, with Barry Zito in his prime on the mound and dealing, but the A's unable to push a run across... and when they're finally on the verge of scoring, with Jeremy Freaking Giambi Not Sliding and entering the Fredo Corleone Pantheon forever and ever, Jeter appears out of nowhere to make the flip play that, despite the 2-0 whole, more or less ended the series.

Without that play, I'm convinced that the A's win the game, the series, and go on to win a World Series. They also keep the entire team together, becoming the dominant franchise in the Bay Area, and I don't spend the rest of my life seeing that damned play in my nightmares. Liquor helps.

9. Joe Carter GIDPs. I'm not going to go into the details of this too much, because this list is already going to be the worst thing ever, but Mitch Williams doesn't groove the fastball, and the Phils escape Game Six with a win. Though, to be honest, when Carter hit that thing, every Phillie Fan I knew at the time was (a) in no way surprised, and (b) in some terrible sense, relieved, because it meant that they never had to watch Mitch Williams pitch ever again.

8. Randall Cunningham's leg stays whole. In 1991, the Eagles started the year in Green Bay with a 20-3 win that defined the term "Pyrrhic victory" for the fan base... because early in the game, Randall Cunningham leaves with an injury and doesn't play again that year. In his stead, the team used Jim McMahon, Jeff Kemp, Brad Goebel (oh dear Lord), and perhaps the single and best indicator that we had to that date that Rich Kotite was criminally useless... Pat Ryan. A 7-1 record down the stretch wasn't enough to make the playoffs, and it could be argued, Cunningham was never the same again.

7. Eagle Fan Doesn't Boo McNabb. Not that the draft day brouhaha really seems like it made that much of a difference on the actual field... but from the eternal media sideshow and rehash of the event. It'll be in McNabb's obituary, and it's pointless. (Special bonus moment from the time travel is that you get to violently assault the Philly sports radio morons that goaded the fan base into thinking Ricky Williams was The Answer.)

6. The Sixers Draft Brad Daugherty, instead of trading for Roy Hinson. Let's see... Daugherty becomes the passing big man with the outside shot that would have worked perfectly with Charles Barkley's inside game. He also doesn't go to Cleveland, which means that the Cavs of that era aren't very good. You still have the rather good backcourt of Johnny Dawkins and Hersey Hawkins, and you conceivably have Barkley spending his entire career in Philadelphia... because he isn't trying to make chuckleheads like Roy Hinson, who might have been the dumbest player to ever play in the Association, actually work as basketball players.

5. Jordan called for pushing off on Craig Ehlo. The Cavs' team that Jordan vanquished was a perfect collection of interlocking talent. Your point guard was Mark Price, a dead-eye three-point shooter. The shooting guard was Ron Harper, who had real explosion before knee surgeries made him into a Phil Jackson point guard. Up front, you had Daugherty, the extremely good Larry Nance, and John "Hot Rod" Williams, who was good as a young player with a work ethic. Ehlo was also pretty useful... but when Jordan scored over him, the die was cast, and that team was more or less forgotten. A shame, really. They were great to watch.

4. Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudamire don't leave the bench. Another tragically good team visually, the Suns never got closer to breaking through against the Spurs than the 2006-07 season. Maybe they never would have gotten past Duncan, Parker and Ginobili in an elimination game, but you can't tell me that the world was better served by the eventual Spurs-Cavs Finals.

3. The Eagles draft Reggie Wayne, Chad Johnson, Robert Ferguson, Chris Chambers, or Steve Smith, instead of Freddie Mitchell. Hell, I'd have settled for Quincy Morgan. Or Todd Heap. Or Algae Crumper. Or... OK, I need to stop before I get the shakes again. The 2001 draft was absolutely loaded with impact players, and the Eagles traded up to get a guy who made one good catch in his life.

2. McNabb looks off Rodney Harrison. Maybe there's something to Spygate, in that the Eagles really were a better team than the Patriots in the first half of their Super Bowl loss, and then suddenly were caught blitzing on a million screens in the second half. But even if there was something untoward going on, there was still McNabb -- a man who has managed to be a great player for a very long time by avoiding picks -- failing to avoid the turnovers. (And yes, Ronde Barber returning him for a clinching touchdown in that Tampa Bay NFC championship game is also hanging around the periphery of my brain...)

1. Rampant gambling and/or team purchases. Hey, I love my teams and all, but I love me some more... and I've got an extraordinary number of wagers to place before I raise enough money to buy the Eagles from Leonard Tose and prevent the worst excesses of the Norman Braman Experience.

Feel free to add your fix moments in the comments...