TOP 11 CAUSES OF TONIGHT'S WNBA BRAWL

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Tonight in Detroit, the end of the LA Sparks - Detroit Shock game was "marred" (the AP's word, not mine) by a brawl, with one player leaving on a wheelchair. Epic Carnival has the inside story on what caused the unpleasantries.

11. It's what the audience wants, though it would have been so much better with just a little hair pulling and wardrobe malfunctions

10. When it's the Shock and the Sparks, you just have to expect this kind of intensity, dammit

9. Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn had a flashback to his past lives

8. Lisa Leslie's kid wouldn't go to sleep last night, so she was kind of on edge

7. David Stern told the league that if they didn't do something to get publicity, he'd cancel the apples and salt licks

6. Someone called Mahorn fat, which is totally unfair, as he's just retaining water at this time of the month

5. Not enough foreign-born players in the league to defray actual hostilities with comic flopping

4. Players are still bitter over the lack of fantasy league action on their games

3. Trying to eliminate all differences from the men's game, even the ones that are probably good

2. The WNBA's several dollar fines are not enough of a deterrent to the players, many of whom make four figures

1. The collective prayers of sports bloggers desperate for a train wreck event to write about were answered