Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: GIFT IDEAS: CAMO-CANNED BATHING SUITS


by Mr. E, Staff Writer

Gentlemen, with only two months remaining to finish up your Sweetest Day shopping, I come bearing gifts. These gifts not only silently scream out your love and admiration, but also a way to say, "Thank you."

Thank you for putting up with the countless cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon that I've crammed underneath the flannel slip-covered sofa.

Thank you for allowing me to remove some of your delicate art form the curio, while only breaking a couple, to show off my sixth place trophy from the 1994 Lake Minnetoka Walleye tournament.

Thank you for telling little Susie Lou that the deer heads are simply staying on her walls at night, no matter how many night terrors she has.

Thank you for shoveling all of the snow from our gravel and dog shit-covered driveway all those time where I just couldn't pull myself away from repairing Uncle Jed's old Civil War musket.

Thank you for understanding that the rust holes that are in the bed of Bessie show her character - sort of like the rings on that there tree - even though we lost a few groceries on the way home. As long as the Hungrymans made it...

Thank you. I hope you like it...

Now where's those dammed used tires that I'm putting up for sale...

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