THIS TRAMP MAKES MY COCKBURN

by Mr. E, Staff Writer

With all of this focus on swimming and the women's gymnastics team, it has been a bit difficult to catch any action of other Olympic events. But with these two areas of focus nearing end, we can now turn our attention to other games of the Olympiad. And unbeknownst to me, there is another element to the gymnastics portion of the games: the trampoline.

Yes, the trampoline. A "sport" that nearly all of us can relate to. Lets face it, few of us are vaulting and beaming these days. And there are few things better than getting sauced up and trying to wreck your friends into the springs. A nice big game of "Lets see how many people we can get on this thing before all hell breaks loose." If you are truly skilled, they'll skip the springs and go straight to the four-foot plummet to the grass/water/whatever. Good times had by all.

However, something that few us may be able to relate to are some of the "bigger" names within the event. Allow me to present you with China's Dong Dong and Canada's Karen Cockburn.

And while I have your attention, it should be noted that while one would assume her name is pronounced phonetically, the "cock" is actually pronounced "Koe," which just had to have been changed somewhere along the family lines. I imagine that it will not be all too long before the spelling gets altered as well, as I can't imagine too many guys or girls looking to pursue cockburn through their adolescence.

Unfortunately, Dong has not been as decorated (see what I did there?) as Cockburn. Cockburn has one several World Championships as well as World Cups on the Trampoline. Now, she can add an Olympic medal to the list - her second in the last two Olympic games. Believe it or not, her hobbies include "athlete," and her first sport was actually diving. She is married, which means that there could be several more Cockburns in the future.

My only hope is that there are more Dong's as well. This way, we can have more headlines like the following: