TOP 10 GREATEST YANKEES FOR YANKEE HATERS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Note... this isn't a list of the worst Yankee players ever. Rather, this is the list of Yankees that me and my brethren enjoyed watching in pinstripes, because we knew they disappointed you so, Yankee Fan. (Inspired by the increasingly obvious rotting smell in the Bronx, as well as return to the public eye of Carl Pavano and Hideki Irabu. Welcome back, gentlemen!)

10. Irabu. The Fat Pussy Toad didn't actually keep the Yankees from winning, received two World Series rings for relatively little work, and his 29-20 won-loss record hardly seems worth the hate. But in terms of pure ire, it's hard to top the man that cost the then-exorbitant $12.8 million. New York was so disgusted with the guy, they sent him to Montreal with Jake Westbrook, getting back future whipping boy Ted Lilly. Now causing drunken scenes in Osaka bars.

9. Ed Whitson. This one might be before the time of most readers, but Whitson's epic flameout as a member of the 1986 Yankees was punctuated by death threats and people visiting his home. Ah, for the simpler time when millionaire ballplayers didn't live in gated communities with security personnel...

8. Dale Berra. Maybe he wasn't much in the way of real disappointment, in that it was pretty well established that he wasn't much of a player in the 8 years he spent mucking around Pittsburgh. But his 90 games of .230 hitting was punctuated by one spectacular play in Chicago in a nationally televised game, where he was one of several Yankees tagged out by Carlton Fisk in a baserunning blunder for the ages. When you think of the mid-'80s teams that were such delightful failures, you think of the Berra Play.

7. Kyle Farnsworth. Perhaps the greatest symbol of late era Yankee failure, this eternal whipping child threw hard, threw straight, threw often and generally made Yankee fan throw up. As the final piece de resistance, he brought them Ivan Rodriguez in trade, who hasn't hit worth a damn, seeing that he's cursed with Farnsy's essence. (On the bright side, Yankee Fan, Farnsy's got a 7+ ERA with the Kittens.)

6. Jason Giambi. From hell's heart the Oakland A's stab at thee! The one-time AL MVP and OPS machine has delivered far less than the $90 million of salary he's sucked up from the Evil Empire, and while his 201 homers in 7 years in pinstripes seems OK, much more was expected from a hitter who seemed tailor-made for The Stadium. Plus, there's the whole Steroid Embarrassment thing going on.

5. Kei Igawa. This contract flameout may have crippled a lesser team with just the posting bonus paid to his old team, but Yankee Fan has been more or less spared his tender touch. How evil has the Keimaster been for the Pinstripes? His career ERA: 6.66. He's the lefthander of the Beast!

4. Ken Phelps. An '80s era DH who statheads liked because he combined patience with power, the Yankees acquired him from Seattle only to watch his doubles-gap power become long fly ball outs in the Stadium. After 130 games of .230 hitting with 17 homers and 51 RBIs, they gave up and sent him to Oakland. Too bad that the short-term rental cost them a mildly notable player named Jay Buhner. (Good grief, how good would the late '90s Yankees been with Buhner?)

3. Kevin Brown. What a spectacular contract flameout this was. For the $31 million and rights to Jeff Weaver (well, OK, that was a good thing to avoid) that the Yankees paid him, Brown gave them a 14-11 record, a 5+ ERA, and an utterly brutal start in the 2004 ALCS choke job to the Red Sox. Let's just say that if he gets to Cooperstown (and he's got a case), he won't be wearing pinstripes.

2. Randy Johnson. From the word go, the Unit was a bad fit in the Bronx, with snarls for from the start. The Unit went 34-19 in two regular seasons, but when it mattered -- i.e., the post-season, he was terrible, giving them two of the worst efforts of his career and a 7-run ERA. He's one more Hall of Famer (and an absolute lock of one) that won't be wearing pinstripes when he takes the call, and given that he destroyed them as a Diamondback, it's even more bitter.

1. Don Mattingly. The fact that Yankee Fan's greatest man crush was also the poster child for one of the longest championship-free eras of the team's existence is tragic to Yankee Fan, and proof of a God with some tender mercies for the rest of us. Isn't it nice, Yankee Fan, that we can agree on something?

(Oh, and if you really want Pavano on this list, I won't argue with you. Just give him a few more weeks to add to the legacy...)