TOP 12 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE A WHIPPED SPORTS FAN

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Inspired by this unspeakable atrocity against life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (H/t, With Leather.)

12. Someone sent you the link to this list (note: if this happened to you, don't bother to argue with the assessment)

11. You justify watching sports for some other purpose (work, family, and, err, um, blogging)

10. You actually have to listen to complaints about how fantasy sports / the NFL / the NBA / MLB / Your Sport Here makes your woman a "widow", rather than "a woman who is with a man who has interests that don't revolve around her"

9. You've purchased multiple pink-colored hats, jerseys and team attire to try to "share" your fandom

8. You lie about going to a game, watching a game, playing a game, or having any game

7. You no longer objectify cheerleaders for their endowments, because that would be Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

6. Your male friends are disappearing from your life like horny teenagers in a slasher film

5. Any sports purchase has to be immediately balanced against a make-good purchase, to the point where you don't even make sport purchases anymore

4. You sound like a puling 8-year-old when you ask permission to do stuff with the guys, or you describe the event that you want to do as if it's a support group meeting ("I don't even like poker, but Bill sounded really down on the phone, and I think he wants to talk")

3. You watch crap that she likes (i.e., reality television contests) as if they were actually sporting events

2. When you take her to the game, you buy wildly better seats in the utter delusion that if she's up close to the event, she'll actually watch

1. You apologize for liking and/or watching sports, and on some level, mean it