CARRY ON WITH YOUR TOPLESS PHOTOS

by Mr. E, Staff Writer

In a day in age when cheerleaders cannot wear typical garb, we should be thankful for people like Justice Doris Leach-Cohan. Typically, judges are not our friends. And by "our," I mean assuming we're all Brandon Marshalls and Adam Jones'. But even the Pacmanand his posse would be thrilled with Ms. Leach-Cohan, because she's putting the topless in their place.

You see, about five years ago, Puff Daddy (which I'm sure he went by at that point in time) threw one of the greatest parties in the history of parties. One that featured certain women dressed in mermaid costumes, galivanting among the stars. However, the costumes were apparently uncomfortable - at least the top half. A problem, I know. A certain Maria Dominguez decided to lose that portion of the regalia, and became upset when there were pictures taken and published.

I mean, who knew that a party featuring celebrities like Puff Daddy would have photographers? The nerve. Alas, after a much-maligned lawsuit, Ms. Dominguez lost her suit (law suit, not swim suit...again) when the Justice exclaimed that her decision to put her titties on display for Puff Daddy invariably allows the publishing for millions.

"When you come to a party and you dress provocatively and you see a swarm of photographers there, you would know what you're getting yourself into."

Well put. Now, I am fully willing to admit that if said picture was taken of an athlete, and put on a blog, it would be treated differently than it was with Puff Daddy and Vibe magazine. However, as long as someone is allowed to publish their share of shoulder boulders, we can all take pride in this freedom that is America.

And if you're wondering what this has to do with sports, Combs played football for his high school in 1986. He played defense. Similar to what he did in court. See? Synergy.

'Mermaids Gone Wild' photo lawsuit against Diddy... [Daily News]