DEAR AL DAVIS

by Simon, SimonOnSports

Dear Al Davis,

Hey Al, just to get this across one more time you senile old man, I am not resigning I am not giving you the satisfaction of not paying me the rest of my F'n contract. I'm gonna get paid for enduring all the bull shit you put me throw. I'm not your f'n coach? Go screw. Well hick boy Ryan isn't my defensive coordinator, so when our defense sucks feel free to blame yourself. I mean Ryan is too busy giving your geriatric penis f'n hand jobs during the week to come up with an actual scheme. He's just lucky the Chiefs are coached by Herman Edwards and his genius plot to dominate the planet with a dual quarterback system.

I bet you almost are sad that we won this weekend because now you can't fire me and get off easy. Well just do it already. I don't need to be losing my hair at 33. If you think we're going to be good this year then perhaps the you really are getting a severe case of Alzheimer. The snake ain't walking through that door any time soon. I've gotten basically a rookie QB to work with. A rookie RB to work with. A wideout that wanted to retire. It's not like I'm working with a team of perennial pro bowlers.

So, just let me coach old man and sit in your F'n rocking chair and watch the game and stop letting my defensive coordinator blow you behind my back. Or just fire me and pay me. Make up your f'n mind.

Go Screw,
Lane