THIS IS GOING TO GET UGLY

by Sterling Gould, Staff Writer

This Saturday, the whole country will be bamboozled by one of the biggest scams in college football history: #1 USC vs. #5 Ohio State. Oh beautiful people out there, you'll hear about Tyrelle Pryor, Chris "Beanie" Wells, James Laurinaitis, and Malcolm Jenkins. You're going to hear about "tradition" and "a knack for big games" and whatever. Look, I can cover my feces with cologne and tell you that it smells like flowers... that's exactly what you'll get when Brent Musburger and some other clown take the call this Saturday night at 8PM EST on ABC. Brent will have "the excuse" ready to go about how Ohio State is a "great team" and Jim Tressel "is the best coach in the land"... blah blah, diaper fodder.

It's fucking Wednesday, and I'm already tired of hearing the circus that'll take place in Los Angeles this weekend. I know this is a "big game", and I'll never say a big game shouldn't get pub, but this is OVERKILL. It's like duck hunting with an AK-47. Sure, it's effective, if you want to obliterate the carcus. And I like these commercials ESPN are playing. "Every #1 can be taken down... every #5 can be silenced". Silenced? I believe that's already happened in two straight national championships guys (and in completely blown out fashion no doubt).

If you've got the jist of this post, congratulations, you know that I'll take USC to beat Ohio State this weekend. It might not be a complete stomping (they never are when I predict 'em anyways) but at no point will you see USC not have the game "in hand". I'm listening to Colin Cowheard right now, and he's saying that Ohio State has been hiding packages against USC and that Tyrelle Pryor will be utilized "alot". I don't doubt that... DO YOU NOT THINK PETE CARROL IS DOING THE SAME THING? Whoa! What a concept!

Unless Jim Tressel has a package in which a live dragon will take the snap out of shotgun, I'm putting it out there that they're going to lose, and everyone will lose for having to watch this fraud of a football team (or any team out of the Big 10 really) play in the publicized "biggest game all year".

So here you go Buckeye fan, I'm willing to put it out there. If ANY Buckeye fan really thinks OSU has a chance this Saturday, put your money where your mouth is. I'm willing to give you 7 1/2 points, if you want to bet on this, here's the stakes: if you win, I'll post a picture on this site (and my myspace) of me wearing a t-shirt stating whatever you want. If I win, I want a t-shirt of YOU on to put on this site stating whatever I want. You want in? Leave a comment.