Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 BETTER WAYS TO INSULT CLEVELAND


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Dan Gilbert, the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, says that rampant speculation that LeBron James will leave town after his contract expires in 2010 is "an insult to the city." Heck, we can do better than that!

10. With the inevitable choice of T-shirt

9. By letting Randy Newman do it, back when Randy wasn't, well, making his living by having Disney execute #10 on him

Randy Newman - 17 Burn On, Big River

8. Point out that their baseball team and logo is the baseball equivalent of the Washington Redskins, New York Kikes, or San Francisco Butt Pirates

7. Note that their president wasn't even good enough to serve consecutive terms

6. Confuse their home town with Dayton, Columbus, Cincinnati or Detroit

5. Hold them personally responsible for Drew Carey, Phil Donahue, Don King, George Steinbrenner and Jim Tressel

4. Constantly drop things in front of them while chastising yourself for being such a Byner

3. Ask who was pitching when they blew the World Series (for the record, Jose Mesa)

2. Note that since no Cleveland team has won a championship since 1964 (!), the NHL's Cleveland Barons (1976-78) are really the town's most successful franchise of the last 45 years, since they've wasted the town's time the least

1. Visit, and be inspired for a lifetime

Add your own in the comments, Steeler and Bengal Fan...

2 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Telling the world your sports teams will make a run for a championship. Being from Cleveland, I am insulted when I hear "there's always next year." for all of my life, next year has not arrived. Is there really a next year or am I living in Cleveland's version of "Groundhog Day."

Tracer Bullet said...

Hey, hey, hey. Dayton is a wretched, dying pimple on the earth's ass populated only by the dead and those who have yet to realize they're dead. If you go there, you must surrender your hopes and dreams at the city limits and prepare to feel your life force ebb second by brutal second. But at least it ain't Cleveland.

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