Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 SPORTS ARGUMENTS YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT MAKE


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Today's list was inspired by an out of the blue comment from one of my blog's regular readers, who decided to slag Abraham Lincoln. No, really.

In that it was the first time I've ever really read a criticism of the man, it made me wonder... where shouldn't you go, really?

So here's the list of argument that you really should not make, unless you're really looking for a fight, or don't care how you are perceived.

10 - Jackie Robinson was overrated.

In terms of pure statistics (1.518 hits, 137 home runs), Robinson struggles with a short career, and by playing in a strong pitching era, his numbers don't appear all that impressive. Of course, trying to assess Robinson's importance with numbers misses the point in ways that can only be described as breathtaking.

9 - Joe Namath's Super Bowl win was a fluke.

This one inspires the outrage of J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS fans only slightly less than asking their teenage daughter for anal. Actually, make it more. Anyway, it's a great way to start a bar fight, or a few dozen comments...

8 - Mike Tyson never beat a good fighter.

Defensible under the theory that the heavyweight division has gone to hell in a handbasket, but still wildly offensive to the people who grew up with the Iron One, and kept buying his fights deep into the Clown Period.

7 - Pete Rose should not be the all-time hit leader.

Easier since the man disgraced himself with lying about gambling, but still offensive to those who spent years rooting for him to take out Ty Cobb... which he only did by being a player-manager that continually played himself despite being one of the worst hitters in baseball, just so he could get a record.

6 - The NBA was not better in the 80s.

One more way to insult people of a certain age is to dismiss the golden age of Larry, Magic and Michael by pointing out that the league didn't have foreign talent, defensive intensity, top-tier coaching or advanced scouting. Bonus points if you can also insult their love of college hoop by pointing out how that's fallen apart.

5 - Muhammad Ali was helped by prison.

This one's really not defensible on the merits, but it helps to demean Ali, which is just about impossible to do without revealing yourself as a terrible racist. Handle with care.

4 - Racial differences exist and are routinely exploited.

Once more into the ugliness, and all you have to do is talk about Great White Wide Receivers, the utter dearth of caucasian cornerbacks, or why black guys don't punt or place-kick. This way to Campanis Land!

3 - New stadiums are media-aided theft.

Sit in a new yard, and you can't help but be seduced by the sight lines, the wide concourses, the ample and clean restrooms... and it's all designed to separate you from your cash as fast as possible, so that you get less game for your entertainment dollar. And the reason why no one ever points this out in the media is because... those folks are being bought by the cushier press boxes. Theft, I tells ya, theft!

2 - Steroid abuse makes economic sense.

Let's see... the athlete gets the job. The team gets production. The fans get the experience of watching what seems to be the finest athletes to ever play. The media gets to moralize. And doctors and pharmaceutical companies get to increase their billing. Everybody wins!

1 - The NFL's growth in popularity is entirely due to gambling.

Point spreads. Over/unders. Fantasy leagues. Off-shore sportsbooks. Sure, there are plenty of people who live and die with their team, and need no more juice for the experience than just to see who wins and who loses. And frankly, there are fewer of them every day...

2 comment(s):

Tracer Bullet said...

Cobb was an avowed racist and Klansmen who used to sharpen his spikes to better injure shortstops when sliding into second, so I'd say a degenerate gambler looks pretty good in comparison.

Anonymous said...

Ali NEVER went to prison. His conviction was overturned. The 3 and a half years of force exile from boxing hurt his career immeasurably.

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