The greatest letter ever written

by Tracer Bullet, Staff Writer

As John McCain shows increasing signs that he's cracking up and the shine is fading from the Wasilla Wonder as the nation realizes that she's really kind of stupid, the GOP is turning to new and interesting ways of drumming up support. Such as suggesting that supporting Obama might mean you're a racist.

Wait. What?

Oh, yeah. Supporting the black guy means you could secretly have unresolved racial issues. I mean, well, yeah. If you live in the United States, you probably have unresolved racial issues. How, though, does support for the black guy make one a racist? Does that mean that all those ignorant bigots who backed George Wallace were secretly the anti-racists all along? That Richard Nixon's Southern Strategy was actually a policy aimed at fostering racial equality and not a cynical ploy to appeal to those who celebrate Confederate Memorial Day?

Personally, I like the head-fake pretending that Democrats put this out. The anonymous, of course, letter-writer doesn't suggest that one should support McCain. Heavens no. (That would be a partisan attack and this letter is merely to express concern over your potential bigotry and, after all, it's not like the GOP has a history of voter suppression). No, this letter suggests that it's Hillary Clinton who deserves the support of Mr. Unsuspecting Racist because she's clearly the person best qualified to run the country. That may be true and it may not, but it's irrelevant as she's not running.

On the other hand, if one wants to overcome one's unrealized racism by not voting for Obama and just happens to choose to vote for the only other viable option, well, it's surely just a coincidence that other viable option is McCain. Surely.

There are plenty of reasons to vote for Obama and plenty of reasons not to, but suggesting that voting for Obama is somehow racist? That there is some good hating.