Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: Top 10 unfortunate NFL endings

Top 10 unfortunate NFL endings

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

The Washington Redskins decided that they had seen enough of Shaun Alexander today, after four games and eleven carries. That's going to make for an awkward line on the plaque, assuming that someone ever makes a plaque for the man who, after setting the single-season NFL touchdown record, was never good again. You can feel free to blame my unrelenting curse on him for killing my fantasy team with his gift last bunny touchdown in that record-setting year. It's also the subject of today's list.

We've excluded the competent years of people like Emmit Smith in Arizona, Jerry Rice in Oakland, or Brett Favre in New York. If you've still got something in the tank, this list is not for you. On the other hand, if you only deliver unrelenting sadness? This list is for you.

(Oh, and I'm certain that I've missed some howlingly obvious additions to this list, so feel free to add yours in the comments)

10. Tony Dorsett, Denver Broncos. Pioneering the idea that the Broncos were basically a second-rate copy of the Cowboys, we have one Touchdown Dorsett. He had 12K yards and 72 touchdowns as a Cowboy, 700 and 5 as a Bronco. He also put the ball on the ground a half dozen times for a team that went 8-8. Well, I guess he sold some jerseys.

9. Franco Harris, Seattle Seahawks. Nearly 12K yards in a dozen years in Pittsburgh and 91 touchdowns in a legendary career... which, honestly, didn't need the last 173 yards from scrimmage in 8 desultory starts with a bird on his head. No wonder Seattle's depressed.

8. Shaun Alexander, Washington Redskins.
With 33 yards from scrimmage in town (with a big 8-yard gallop mixed in that) against nearly 11K in Seattle, we're thinking that he won't be saving that Redskins jersey for long. And if anyone else gives him a gig, they are out of their freaking minds.

7. Art Monk, Philadelphia Eagles. Monk actually played for three teams, with a tolerable year as a #3 wideout for the '94 Jets adding another 581 yards and 3 TDs to his strong career numbers. But those 3 games as a 38-year-old for the Ray Rhodes playoff Eagles must have truly hurt his 'Skins fans, who were en route to a 6-10 season under the electric duo of Gus Frerotte and Heath Shuler. That can't have tasted very good.

6. Cris Carter, Miami Dolphins. Remember him as a 37-year-old non-starter not catching very many passes at all from Jay Fiedler and Ray Lucas? He probably doesn't, either. I'm sure the 8 catches, 66 yards and single touchdown was all worth it.

5. Thurman Thomas, Miami Dolphins. Say this for the Fish; they leave no stone unturned in their pursuit of talent, even if it smells like year-old bait. The 34-year-old Thermal had just over 250 of his over 16K career yards for the Fish, and his 87th and final NFL touchdown. He didn't leave anything in the tank.

4. Richard Dent, Philadelphia Eagles. The saddest thing about Dent playing as a 37-year-old in his final NFL season and single year with the Eagles is that his 4.5 sacks were third on the 6-9-1 team, and ahead of Mike Mamula. I'm pretty sure that at the time, we all thought that Dent was going to teach Mamula something useful. Maybe it was landscaping.

3. Reggie White, Carolina Panthers. The 13-time Pro Bowler was a legend in Philadelphia, a Super Bowl champion in Green Bay... and a 39-year-old man playing for no good reason for a 7-9 Carolina team.

Now, maybe he left early, given that he had 16 sacks for an 11-5 Packers team at 37 before taking a year off. But honestly, it made no sense for him to come back to Carolina at the time, and he never really explained it to anyone's satisfaction.

2. Joe Namath, LA Rams. After 12 iconic if overrated years in New York, the hobbled legend went West for a 2-2 record, 5 picks and a sad little end. The Rams went on to a playoff run under Pat Haden, and Namath never darkened their towels again. On the plus side, though, he probably banged a lot of grade-A tail. So there's that.

1. Johnny Unitas, San Diego Chargers.
Four years before Namath ended his career in warmth and ignominy, the man that many consider to be the best to ever play the position staggered his way through five starts at age 40 for the Bolts. They went 1-4, and he threw 7 picks in four starts. I'm thinking he doesn't wear that jersey very often.

1 comment(s):

Tracer Bullet said...

I guess Randall Cunningham in Dallas and John Lynch in New England never played enough for those teams to make the list, but I was damn sure sick to my stomach to see Rocketman wearing that hateful star.


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