by Mr. E, Staff Writer
Forbes Magazine recently released a list of the individuals that they consider to have "broken out" in the year 2008. If you care about people like the Jonas Brothers or David Archuletta, I recommend clicking on the link. But if you're a male that happens to have a normal testosterone level, I recommend reading on as we break out those that...broke out.
Without further ado, EC's Breakout "stars" of 2008.
10. Katy Perry
You have to admit that you were interested in this girl before you even saw what she looked like. Any female who writes a song about kissing girls has my attention from the start. The chest that can be found on Perry is simply icing on the proverbial cake. Commence cake-icing jokes in 3...2...
9. Jamie Lynn Spears
Sure, we knew of the younger Spears long ago. However, it wasn't until 2008 where she literally broke out - as in, "hey, look, my pants no longer fit." Thanks to some likely statutory tube steak, Jamie Lynn became the attention hog in the Spears family for the year. And given the shit her sister has done, that's quite the accomplishment.
8. Nuggets Dancer Bridget
The subject of one of the year's more viral videos, she's the best thing to happen to Denver since the Kobe Bryant scandal. While it doesn't take much to make most play-by-play guys stumble over their words, Bridget personified the "break out" role by testing the material that comprised her top. Being a rookie on the squad, lets hope that the rest of the decade provides plenty of this "star."
7. Ashley Harkleroad
If this were based on on-court accomplishments, we could talk about...well, nothing as Harkleroad didn't get past the first round very often in 2008. However, the month of August was a special one for Ashley and millions of men across the world when she appeared in Playboy magazine. Being the first athlete in seven years to grace the magazine is something that we should all appreciate. Making this move takes courage, confidence and a very, very fine body.
6. Mila Kunis
Its good to see at least someone from That 70s Show having a career after the finale. Its even better that that "someone" is the piece of Grade A ass that is Mila Kunis. The true star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall came back for one hell of a 2008. And if you don't think she qualifies as a "breakout," wait until you see what she does to your pants after looking at these pictures from a couple months ago.
5. Alicia Sacramone
If I were a shallow person, I would have had to leave Sacramone off of the list. Thankfully, we accept those even if they do not bring home gold medals at the Olympic games. And thankfully, Sacramone has a body that does not quit - providing a slew of bloggers attesting their love for someone they'll never have a shot with. Bonus points for the YouTube video of the right hook. Now if she could just jump on the Amanda Beard Playboy bus...
4. Bia and Branca Feres
They were one in the infamous BOB contest of 2008, so they're one on this list. These twin Brazilian sisters were quite the site to be seen over the summer both on various blogs as well as a few select magazines. These blonde bombshells simply cannot stop touching each other as every picture features spooning, groping and the occasional assist in the shower. Whether that's custom in Brazil or not, these twins make anything they choose to do completely acceptable. The unacceptable thing is what millions of men would do if they had the opportunity.
3. Leryn Franco
I love that she is still considered a "Paraguayan athlete." It may as well say "Smoking hot girl who happened to be at the Olympics and loves posing for suggestive pictures." Or, we can just shorten it to "angel." Either way is fine with me. If there's anything that makes you look forward to the next summer Olympics, Franco is it. To help you wait it out, we have you covered.
2. Audrina Patridge
Joining a television show in 2006 is a great start. But when nude pictures of yourself leak in 2008 (link NSFW, obviously), you're officially on the scene. Patridge will continue to be a favorite of many as long as she continues to do nothing but walk around in bathing suits. It doesn't hurt that we all hold out hope for another nude "leak," which should happen the very minute that she falls just a tad out of the paparazzi spotlight. She would be atop the list if it wasn't for...
1. Ashley Alexandra Dupree
Sure, she may not have been the hottest girl on this list. But when you bring down the Attorney General in what was easily the biggest scandal of the year, you can have any spot on the list that you'd like. Raking in a ton of cash to sleep with guys is one thing. Finding out that you've been quite the hotdog hallway your entire life is even better. I'm sure we're saving 2009 for the book deal simply to maintain relevance. But thanks to the Internet and Girls Gone Wild, Dupree will be "famous" for quite a bit longer.
Did we miss any 2008 Breakouts? Let us hear it in the comments.
by Mr. E, Staff Writer