Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: Top 12 signs that your NFL color analyst is a loose cannon

Top 12 signs that your NFL color analyst is a loose cannon

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

12. Fails to acknowledge how wonderful Late Season or Playoff Football is, compared to all of that pissbucket Early or Midseason swill

11. Does not note the ferocity of Home Team's Fans, the insanity of Shirtless Idiot Fans, or the wonderful Regional Food Choices

10. Thinks that there may be a case in the history of the NFL where playing prevent defense prevents you from... wait for it... *losing*

9. There are moments when he actually disagrees with the play by play man

8. Does not mention how much of a great guy Losing Coach is, and how He Is Going To Be So, So Mad about these dumb mistakes

7. Believes that points scored just before halftime are not worth more than points scored at any other point in the game

6. Refuses to call short passes "long handoffs"

5. Actually takes a side on the merits of going for it on fourth down without getting into a long-winded discussion over whether the coach is aggressive or conservative

4. Does not offer a more or less pointless opinion in advance of a first down measurement as to whether or not the runner made it

3. Fails to achieve orgasm while discussing line play, special teams plebes or old coaches

2. Openly acknowledges point spreads and appears to actually know something about fantasy football

1. Working a game between teams that are out of playoff contention

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