Victoria's got a new secret

by Mr. E, Staff Writer

I'm pretty sure that when the mall near my house opened a Victoria's Secret that all of the models didn't partake in the festivities. But while I'm left jacking to mannequins and posters, those close to the scene Lexington Avenue got a chance to party with the likes of Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller and Miranda Kerr. Apparently, some stores are more important than others. This results in the Supermodels shining their symbol in the sky like sexy Thundercats. Then they all get together and get sloshed which leads to a 12-model orgy. At least this is what I've heard.

"Life isn't fair" could not be a bigger understatement.