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(This is where you nod your head vigorously. Good theoretical audience.) Well, here's a list of the Heels of Achilles. Enjoy, or wince, or both.10. Chicago Bears Quarterback. When your best is a guy that played during the freaking Depression (Sid Luckman), and "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6310743685109011277/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6310743685109011277\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"43 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6310743685109011277"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6310743685109011277"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/08/top-10-cursed-pro-football-positions.html","title":"TOP 10 CURSED PRO FOOTBALL POSITIONS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"43"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2253538327104277320"},"published":{"$t":"2008-08-19T04:35:00.003-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-08-19T06:27:56.852-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rex Grossman"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"quarterbacks"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Kyle Orton"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 12 REASONS WHY THE BEARS WENT WITH ORTON OVER GROSSMAN"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool12. When Orton takes an unnecessary sack, he's less likely to fumble11. Just can't give the ball to a man that Ron Rivera referred to as \"kind of a mental midget\"10. Incompletions are less harmful than interceptions9. Sexy Rexy is hot, but even he could not deny the power of the Neck Beard8. Orton is 25, while Rex is 28, and that three-year difference will really be "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2253538327104277320/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2253538327104277320\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2253538327104277320"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2253538327104277320"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/08/top-12-reasons-why-bears-went-with.html","title":"TOP 12 REASONS WHY THE BEARS WENT WITH ORTON OVER GROSSMAN"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-3352983867450585608"},"published":{"$t":"2008-07-23T20:23:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:46.291-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Devin Hester"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 REASONS WHY DEVIN HESTER IS HOLDING OUT"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool10. Wants that big-time Donte Hall money9. Less time in training camp is less time in training camp8. Doesn't want to distract from that riveting Kyle Orton - Rex Grossman quarterback battle7. After the departure of Bernard Berrian and Moose Muhammad, not quite ready to take the mantle of #1 wideout6. With Todd Sauerbrun out of the league, the thrill is gone5. Needs "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/3352983867450585608/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d3352983867450585608\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3352983867450585608"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3352983867450585608"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/07/top-10-reasons-why-devin-hester-is.html","title":"TOP 10 REASONS WHY DEVIN HESTER IS HOLDING OUT"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7759249509381576590"},"published":{"$t":"2008-07-23T12:53:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-07-23T12:59:36.961-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Zac"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"chicago"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFC North"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Manufactured Joy"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"MANUFACTURED JOY - CHICAGO BEARS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Zac, Throwing Into Traffic1. Cedric Benson is a drunk!While I’m stunned that it happened before Rex Grossman lost his job, the Cedric Benson experiment came to a screeching halt this offseason thanks to Ced’s love of booze, the navigation of motor vehicles, and a combination of the two.  Taking his place seem to be the tandem of rookie Matt Forte and former Lion Kevin Jones, a switch which "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7759249509381576590/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7759249509381576590\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7759249509381576590"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7759249509381576590"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/07/manufactured-joy-chicago-bears.html","title":"MANUFACTURED JOY - CHICAGO BEARS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Zac"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2238520777956996033"},"published":{"$t":"2008-06-25T15:28:00.005-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:47.196-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Zac"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cedric Benson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Kick Them When They're Down"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"KICK THEM WHEN THEY’RE DOWN – CEDRIC BENSON"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Zac, Throwing Into TrafficFrom time to time, professional athletes remind us why they're often stereotyped as overpaid, entitled ingrates.  Every once in a while, one of THOSE athletes falls...hard.  When they do, we at Epic Carnival step in to kick them when they're down.  Getting salt in the wound in this first ever edition: Cedric Benson.One day, when Matt Forte uses a revamped bears "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2238520777956996033/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2238520777956996033\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2238520777956996033"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2238520777956996033"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/06/kick-them-when-theyre-down-cedric.html","title":"KICK THEM WHEN THEY’RE DOWN – CEDRIC BENSON"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Zac"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-4369646732276965976"},"published":{"$t":"2008-06-10T07:42:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:47.991-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cedric Benson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"CALLING YOU OUT! - THE CHICAGO BEARS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by WCT, The Ship of Fools“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!Today, we imagine how much it must suck to be a Bears fanIn March 2007, just a month after a trip to the Super Bowl, the Chicago Bears traded"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/4369646732276965976/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d4369646732276965976\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4369646732276965976"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4369646732276965976"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/06/calling-you-out-chicago-bears.html","title":"CALLING YOU OUT! - THE CHICAGO BEARS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"WCT"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-1041323032808596017"},"published":{"$t":"2008-05-07T22:51:00.003-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-05-08T08:18:55.172-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"drunks"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cedric Benson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football death"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blown pick"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IN THE CEDRIC BENSON ARREST"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool10. When he yelled for his Mom as the police put him in handcuffs, did he scream \"Mommmyyyyy!!!\", \"Maaaaaaa!!!!\" or just fall to the ground sobbing and kicking?9. Is this also somehow Thomas Jones' fault?8. Did the police sergeant that maced and cuffed Benson draft him in his fantasy league next year?7. Was Berson expecting The Chicago Adrian Peterson to take over for"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/1041323032808596017/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d1041323032808596017\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1041323032808596017"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1041323032808596017"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/05/top-10-unanswered-questions-in-cedric.html","title":"TOP 10 UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IN THE CEDRIC BENSON ARREST"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7739716829184123426"},"published":{"$t":"2008-04-29T15:35:00.008-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-05-06T17:30:48.554-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Zac"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Vikings"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Optimist/Pessimist"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lions"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFC North"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Packers"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST - THE NFC NORTH DRAFT CLASS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Zac, Throwing Into TrafficChicago Bears:OPTIMIST:The best way to improve shaky quarterbacking quickly is by not paying immediate attention to the quarterback position in the draft (CUE ZEN GONG HERE).  The fact of the matter is that Rex Grossman, though awful last season, was not entirely to blame for his failings.  Cedric Benson forgot what positive yardage looks like, Bernard Berrian was the"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7739716829184123426/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7739716829184123426\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7739716829184123426"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7739716829184123426"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/04/optimistpessimist-nfc-north-draft-class.html","title":"OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST - THE NFC NORTH DRAFT CLASS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Zac"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-5784233234571407677"},"published":{"$t":"2008-04-02T13:15:00.010-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:49.374-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Earth Day"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Mac G"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Green Apple Festival"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Kyle Orton"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"EARTH DAY MC"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Mac G, Mac G's WorldThe third annual Green Apple Festival music lineup was announced recently. Free live concerts will take place simultaneously in New York City (Central Park), Washington, DC (The National Mall), Chicago IL (Lincoln Park Zoo), Miami FL (Bicentennial Park), Denver CO (City Park), Dallas TX (Fair Park), San Francisco CA (Golden Gate Park) and Los Angeles CA (Santa Monica Pier)."},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/5784233234571407677/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d5784233234571407677\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5784233234571407677"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5784233234571407677"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/04/earth-day-mc.html","title":"EARTH DAY MC"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Mac G"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-6962182051852760534"},"published":{"$t":"2008-02-08T12:42:00.000-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:53.244-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wwtb"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"49ers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports history"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Patriots"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears (CHI)"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"THE TEAMS THAT WEREN'T EMBARRASSED TO BE 18-1"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by wwtb?, Pacifist Viking\"18-1\" is of course a mocking insult to the 2007 Patriots.But two other teams have gone 18-1; they just had the good sense to lose their one game sometime during the regular season.The 1984 San Francisco 49ers went 18-1.  In the regular season, they were #2 in points scored, #1 in points allowed, and they outscored their opponents by an average of 15.5 points per game.  "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6962182051852760534/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6962182051852760534\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6962182051852760534"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6962182051852760534"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/02/teams-that-werent-embarrassed-to-be-18.html","title":"THE TEAMS THAT WEREN'T EMBARRASSED TO BE 18-1"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"What was that bang?"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}}]}});