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Here's the experiences that everyone eventually gets to, provided you live long enough.11. The first shocking win.For me, this was the Miracle of the Meadowlands, where the Giants fumbled while running out the clock, leading to "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/5846441399719200691/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d5846441399719200691\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5846441399719200691"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5846441399719200691"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/12/top-11-sports-fan-steps-to-dark-side.html","title":"Top 11 Sports Fan Steps to the Dark Side"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-1579567447048610613"},"published":{"$t":"2008-10-09T10:50:00.005-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-10-21T12:10:20.111-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL busts"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy footballl"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Chad Johnson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Chad Ocho Cinco"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"satire"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bengals"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Simon"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A promise from Chad Ocho Cinco to you, his highly disappointed fantasy owners"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Simon, SimonOnSportsOk Guys, I know I know that I promised you a touchdown last week and that I promised that I was going to Kiss the Star and I didn't deliver.  And I know that I haven't broken 43 yards once this season nor have I caught more than 4 balls in a game.  And I know that I only have one touchdown the entire season.  But... boys it's gonna change this week, I promise. See we're "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/1579567447048610613/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d1579567447048610613\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1579567447048610613"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1579567447048610613"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/10/promise-from-chad-ocho-cinco-to-you-his.html","title":"A promise from Chad Ocho Cinco to you, his highly disappointed fantasy owners"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Simon"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-441804725772970092"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-29T17:51:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-06-07T13:34:16.470-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hate"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Animals"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 11 signs that you are a heartless fantasy football bastard"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool11. The stock market collapse today just made you wonder which of your fellow owners got wiped out, and would be more likely to make a drunken trade10. You are proud of your occasionally profitable ownership of Chris Henry9. The first thought that you hd after the Sean Taylor fatality was to check to see if there were good pickups to be had the next week8. Your first "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/441804725772970092/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d441804725772970092\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/441804725772970092"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/441804725772970092"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/top-11-signs-that-you-are-heartless.html","title":"Top 11 signs that you are a heartless fantasy football bastard"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-8086272754374637356"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-16T10:08:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:40.527-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Video"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"humor"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DCScrap"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"FIVE REASONS FANTASY FOOTBALL IS EVIL"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DCScrap, on 205th magazineI mean other than the fact that I took Tom Brady with my first pick this year..."},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/8086272754374637356/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d8086272754374637356\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8086272754374637356"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8086272754374637356"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/five-reasons-fantasy-football-is-evil.html","title":"FIVE REASONS FANTASY FOOTBALL IS EVIL"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DCScrap"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/06109944563728433069"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08823360247170964835"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7332659073204929107"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-10T00:55:00.006-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:41.085-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Jaguars"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bill Belichick"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Patriots"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bears"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Stephen Jackson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Clinton Portis"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Redskins"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Steelers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Eagles"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rams"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"colts"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"peyton manning"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bengals"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Saints"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 PIECES OF FANTASY FOOTBALL TRADE BAIT"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolIgnoring, at least, the players that are now hurt for the year. You might have heard about them, and the unspeakable tragedy that is the season end for... Nate Burleson. Let's get to the targets!10. Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams. Anyone that watched the Rams game against the Eagles would want absolutely no part of this team anymore, and with Orlando Pace leaving "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7332659073204929107/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7332659073204929107\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"3 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7332659073204929107"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7332659073204929107"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/top-10-pieces-of-fantasy-football-trade.html","title":"TOP 10 PIECES OF FANTASY FOOTBALL TRADE BAIT"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"3"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7769602167627762268"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-02T23:01:00.004-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:42.423-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP TEN JERKS IN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolHey, your league has probably drafted. Now it's the time to meet all of your new friends in the league... and discover that they are a lot like the people you've met before. Let's review them all, shall we?10. Handcuff Enthusiast. Now, I don't have an incredible opinion about the practice of having the star and his backup; sometimes I go there (especially if the star "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7769602167627762268/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7769602167627762268\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7769602167627762268"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7769602167627762268"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/top-ten-jerks-in-your-fantasy-football.html","title":"TOP TEN JERKS IN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2180308976801294308"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-02T14:21:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:42.483-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Marcus Thomas"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lions"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Andrew"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"YOU WANT THE NEXT DUDE TO BE IN AN ESPN COMMERICAL FOR A FANTASY FOOTBALL HALL OF FAMER?"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Andrew, The Grand National ChampionshipsI'll tell you.Marcus Thomas, rookie running back out of UTEP. And here's why it sounds crazy, right? He's the Detroit Lions third string running back. And yes, your Matt Millen signed Rudi Johnson to essentially split time for Kevin Smith. (I'll let you make the quotable Kevin Smith joke. You hipster).But there are problems with both men ahead of Marcus."},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2180308976801294308/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2180308976801294308\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2180308976801294308"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2180308976801294308"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/you-want-next-dude-to-be-in-espn.html","title":"YOU WANT THE NEXT DUDE TO BE IN AN ESPN COMMERICAL FOR A FANTASY FOOTBALL HALL OF FAMER?"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Andrew"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7789529525921529825"},"published":{"$t":"2008-08-19T21:38:00.004-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T14:21:34.866-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy footballl"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"not sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"women ruin everything"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 12 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE A WHIPPED SPORTS FAN"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolInspired by this unspeakable atrocity against life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (H/t, With Leather.)12. Someone sent you the link to this list (note: if this happened to you, don't bother to argue with the assessment)11. You justify watching sports for some other purpose (work, family, and, err, um, blogging)10. You actually have to listen to complaints "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7789529525921529825/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7789529525921529825\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7789529525921529825"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7789529525921529825"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/08/top-12-ways-to-tell-if-you-are-whipped.html","title":"TOP 12 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE A WHIPPED SPORTS FAN"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7391670873483037468"},"published":{"$t":"2008-08-15T14:04:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:44.570-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"jerk moves"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"live draft"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 FANTASY FOOTBALL LIVE DRAFT INTIMIDATION TACTICS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolGreetings, Epic Readers. As the carnie from Five Tool Tool, I'm here to help you embrace your Inner Tool, and make him more effective.Since it's required by site law that you be way too into fantasy football (what, you didn't read the User Agreement? Wow, you're brave...) we'll start the lesson with some game plans for your upcoming fantasy football draft.For the "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7391670873483037468/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7391670873483037468\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7391670873483037468"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7391670873483037468"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/08/top-10-fantasy-football-live-draft.html","title":"TOP 10 FANTASY FOOTBALL LIVE DRAFT INTIMIDATION TACTICS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DCScrap"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/06109944563728433069"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08823360247170964835"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2212742070892854140"},"published":{"$t":"2008-07-28T22:19:00.003-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T14:21:34.927-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU WON'T WIN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolPlenty of places will tell you why your real team is doomed. But who is going to tell you why you're not going to win in Nerd Ball, either -- even though you probably haven't even held your draft yet? Me, that's who. Now step aside and see if you might learn something.10. Overpreparation. Bought a fantasy football annual already, have you? Congratulations. You do "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2212742070892854140/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2212742070892854140\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2212742070892854140"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2212742070892854140"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/07/top-10-reasons-why-you-wont-win-your.html","title":"TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU WON'T WIN YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}}]}});