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I'd prefer to savor the fact that we are now in Year Ten of the Cowboys Don't Win A Single Goddamn Playoff Game, Bitches. So let us count the ways in which you and every other right-thinking American can celebrate...11. Treat yourself to a nice"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/8639925311677513735/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d8639925311677513735\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8639925311677513735"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8639925311677513735"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/12/top-11-ways-to-celebrate-cowboy.html","title":"Top 11 ways to celebrate Cowboy Elimination Day"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-5702517851976800478"},"published":{"$t":"2008-11-03T21:47:00.004-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-11-04T08:21:33.583-06:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Browns"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Derek Anderson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cleveland"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Brady Quinn"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 12 reasons why the Browns switched to Brady Quinn"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool12. Just wanted to finally give a Notre Dame player a chance11. Facing Denver in his first start will be almost as hard as a pre-season game10. Since they are playing on Thursday, he's got a built-in excuse for not knowing the playbook9. Wanted to drop Derek Anderson before Braylon Edwards did it8. The prime-time audience demands someone freshly incompetent7. Romeo "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/5702517851976800478/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d5702517851976800478\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5702517851976800478"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5702517851976800478"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/11/top-12-reasons-why-browns-switched-to.html","title":"Top 12 reasons why the Browns switched to Brady Quinn"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7560532082484284348"},"published":{"$t":"2008-06-20T06:25:00.003-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:11.034-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"drunks"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cubs"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mlb+"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"drunk fans"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Carlos Zambrano"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 15 REASONS THE CUBS WON'T WIN THIS YEAR"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolDespite a three-game sweep at the hands of those Amazin' Rays, the Cubs still have the best record in the National League, and appear to have their best chance since the 1908 team to win a World Series. Why won't it happen for them?15. 90% of their fan base is comprised of people who are either going to agree with everything on this list, or question my sexual "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7560532082484284348/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7560532082484284348\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7560532082484284348"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7560532082484284348"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/06/top-15-reasons-cubs-wont-win-this-year.html","title":"TOP 15 REASONS THE CUBS WON'T WIN THIS YEAR"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2027452632152278986"},"published":{"$t":"2008-06-12T15:49:00.009-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:13.183-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"bizarre injuries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"liar liar pants on fire"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bill Belichick"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Patriots"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Scott Sargent"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Indians"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bullshit"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Injuries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Eric Wedge"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"IS ERIC WEDGE MLB'S BILL BELICHICK?"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Scott Sargent, Waiting For Next YearFootball is the only sport that forces you to list your players' respective health issues days in advance of the coin toss. Thursday afternoon rolls around, and you can just hear the stream of reports coming out of the practice field of each NFL team. Running back knees, quarterback fingers; you name it, it's on there.But in baseball, you can option. You can"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2027452632152278986/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2027452632152278986\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2027452632152278986"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2027452632152278986"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/06/is-eric-wedge-mlbs-bill-belichick.html","title":"IS ERIC WEDGE MLB'S BILL BELICHICK?"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Scott @ WFNY"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"11424141027161874317"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-1289753887482119885"},"published":{"$t":"2008-04-08T05:47:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T14:21:35.031-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy baseball"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM WON'T CONTEND THIS YEAR"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool10. Trade requests come with notes like \"Are you still playing?\"9. Your early offensive leader is a guy you didn't draft (Keep it up, Jason Kendall!)8. The hot rookie you took a flier on is either in the minor leagues, in jail, or has Dusty Baker as a manager7. People think your waiver wire requests are admirable, in a cute and doomed sort of way6. The owner in your "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/1289753887482119885/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d1289753887482119885\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1289753887482119885"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1289753887482119885"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/04/top-10-signs-your-fantasy-baseball-team.html","title":"TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM WON'T CONTEND THIS YEAR"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-4756720180901001914"},"published":{"$t":"2008-03-18T21:53:00.002-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:16.946-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Barry Bonds"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"steroids"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 11 SIGNS THAT BARRY BONDS IS DEFINITELY A VICTIM OF COLLUSION"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolNoted: MLB Players Association head Donald Fehr says his staff will examine possible collusion against Bonds. With everything the Home Run King has got going for him, its clearly a witch hunt.11. As the past few years in San Francisco have shown, having Bonds around is just supremely conducive to winning10. Every MLB team can use a 43-year-old clubhouse cancer without"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/4756720180901001914/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d4756720180901001914\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4756720180901001914"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4756720180901001914"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/03/top-11-signs-that-barry-bonds-is.html","title":"TOP 11 SIGNS THAT BARRY BONDS IS DEFINITELY A VICTIM OF COLLUSION"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7394541970373760358"},"published":{"$t":"2008-03-05T23:25:00.002-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T14:21:35.082-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy baseball"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy crime"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 11 REASONS WHY MY FANTASY LEAGUE WILL BE COOLER THAN YOURS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolIs this a desperate scheme to fill the last remaining slots in a first year league that's drafting on Saturday, March 29 in Central New Jersey, an easy train or car ride away from both Philadelphia and New York City? You make the call! (And email me at dmtshooter@gmail.com if you want in.)11. We will pour a \"40\" on the ground in the memory of Gary Gygax -- word to the"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7394541970373760358/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7394541970373760358\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7394541970373760358"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7394541970373760358"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/03/top-11-reasons-why-my-fantasy-league.html","title":"TOP 11 REASONS WHY MY FANTASY LEAGUE WILL BE COOLER THAN YOURS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-2757763184340663089"},"published":{"$t":"2008-02-22T00:04:00.002-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:52.575-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL Network"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 REASONS THE NFL NETWORK GOT DROPPED"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolMultichannel NewsThe NFL Network just lost a big chunk of its distribution as the Dish Network has dropped it from an \"America's Top 100\" Package, relegating it to the \"Americas Top 200\" package instead. In raw numbers, that means NFL Network has lost about 4 million subscribers, cutting its base to about 31 million. The new hit follows one suffered by NFL Network "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/2757763184340663089/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d2757763184340663089\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2757763184340663089"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/2757763184340663089"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/02/top-10-reasons-nfl-network-got-dropped.html","title":"TOP 10 REASONS THE NFL NETWORK GOT DROPPED"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-4525391510109603254"},"published":{"$t":"2007-12-17T00:21:00.000-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:47:16.828-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 NFL LOSERS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool10. The betting public. A week after the favorites went 12-4 against the spread, the presumably better teams were 7-8 with the MNF game left to play. Included in the carnage were the previously golden Cowboys, the surging Seahawks, and the Bengals (who are terrible, but were playing the Niners, for heaven's sake). If anyone tells you they won a three-team parley this "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/4525391510109603254/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d4525391510109603254\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4525391510109603254"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4525391510109603254"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/12/top-10-nfl-losers.html","title":"TOP 10 NFL LOSERS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-3655912896467787198"},"published":{"$t":"2007-10-14T23:16:00.000-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:47:35.971-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rams"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fantasy football death"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"losers"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 REASONS THE RAMS WILL GO WINLESS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool6 down, 10 to go. Can the Rams achieve perfection? All signs point to... YES.10. Their last ten games are at Seattle, Cleveland, at New Orleans, at San Fran, Seattle, Atlanta, at Cincy, Green Bay, Pittsburgh and at Arizona. Right now, it's hard to imagine they will be favored in any of those games.9. Coach Scott Linehan has taken over the play-calling. In general, "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/3655912896467787198/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d3655912896467787198\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3655912896467787198"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3655912896467787198"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/10/top-10-reasons-rams-will-go-winless.html","title":"TOP 10 REASONS THE RAMS WILL GO WINLESS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}}]}});