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Adam Mister Jones. At $700,000 for the year, he's strictly small change in terms of lack of bang for the buck -- heck, Roy Williams is making $3.7 million to catch less than two balls a game and make Terrible Owens even crazier than usual -- but at least Williams is inconspicuous in his suckery. 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Having unnamed Cowboys officials subconsciously channel Dennis Green by saying \"He is who he is\"11. Hearing the Cowboys try to excuse brawling in a private restroom as being not at all like brawling in, you know, public10. Thanks to injuries to Roy Williams and Terence Newman, the Cowboys have no other option but to play him, leading to the three-hour sham-a-thon "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/3713286912407263464/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d3713286912407263464\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3713286912407263464"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3713286912407263464"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/10/top-12-truly-wonderful-things-about.html","title":"Top 12 truly wonderful things about Adam \"Mister\" Jones' latest incident"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7647828772078980100"},"published":{"$t":"2008-05-26T11:22:00.000-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-10-21T12:10:20.193-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"E. Spencer Kyte"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Athletes Behaving Badly"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Joakim Noah"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"From The Great White North"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Bengals"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Athlete Arrests"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"WATER IS STILL WET"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and CranksJoakim Noah was arrested for possession of marijuana over the weekend.In other news, water is still wet.You can't honestly admit that this comes as a shock. Do you not remember Noah at the Draft last year?The hair?The bow tie?The peace sign while shaking hands with The Commish?In honor of this thoroughly unshocking development, we here in The Great White North "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7647828772078980100/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7647828772078980100\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7647828772078980100"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7647828772078980100"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/05/water-is-still-wet.html","title":"WATER IS STILL WET"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"E. Spencer Kyte"},"email":{"$t":"spencerkyte@hotmail.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-5183147277118392485"},"published":{"$t":"2008-02-19T12:09:00.004-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:19.024-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Arlen Specter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Isaac"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB!"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Isaac, The World of IsaacMe: \"But that's your only freakin job\", I told the coat check attendant. \"Your one job is to hang up somebody's coat and take the ticket from that hanger and give it to someone.\"\"How could you screw that up?\"Flashback Five Minutes earlier........Coat check attendant: Is this your coat?Me: No, that's brown, we said black for God sakes. Those are two different colors"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/5183147277118392485/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d5183147277118392485\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5183147277118392485"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/5183147277118392485"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/02/you-suck-at-your-job.html","title":"YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"World of Isaac"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/17609452157635591172"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02115062097319493789"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-3000988358657299831"},"published":{"$t":"2007-12-11T18:30:00.000-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:40:49.499-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"crime"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"From The Great White North"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"E. Spencer Kyte"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Eric Staal"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Jordan Staal"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Mark Staal"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NHL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Michael Vick"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Jamaal Tinsley"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and CranksDue to a miscommunication and some stupidity on my part this post was published prematurely earlier today. It was still a work in progress at the time. What you see below is the complete version. Please give it a new look and accept my apologies for the error. -- The EditorWhen in the hell are these athletes going to figure out that they are targets and running "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/3000988358657299831/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d3000988358657299831\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3000988358657299831"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3000988358657299831"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/12/from-great-white-north-enough-is-enough.html","title":"FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"E. Spencer Kyte"},"email":{"$t":"spencerkyte@hotmail.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-6110908509706690147"},"published":{"$t":"2007-12-06T12:58:00.000-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:40:49.897-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NCAA Football"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"crime"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"theangryt"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lebron James"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"kobe bryant"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"things that make me angry"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Florida"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANGRY: LEGAL EDITION"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by T, The Angry T1. Current Laws – In my America, if you commit a crime that I deem victimless, like this fantastic crime, in which Florida football players were arrested for hitting someone with a sandwich, you get off. If you were the restaurant worker in this situation and you got hit with a sandwich, how could you not at least crack a smile? How could anyone be prosecuted for something that"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6110908509706690147/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6110908509706690147\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6110908509706690147"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6110908509706690147"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/12/things-that-make-me-angry-legal-edition.html","title":"THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANGRY: LEGAL EDITION"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"theangryt"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-656041439261693987"},"published":{"$t":"2007-10-26T14:10:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:40:53.266-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Sun Ming Ming"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Dwight Howard"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Adam Morrison"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"chris paul"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"predictions"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Jordi Scrubbings"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Kevin Durant"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Nate Robinson"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"kobe bryant"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Jessica Alba"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"40 OUNCES OF GUARANTEED NBA PREDICTIONS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Jordi Scrubbings, The Serious TipAs we prepare for the 2007-2008 NBA season, I have decided to forego the usual team-by-team analysis familiar on dozens upon dozens of other websites. Instead of breaking each team down player by player and writing about their respective strengths and weaknesses, I have decided to tell you the future. You read that correctly. In the words of the artist "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/656041439261693987/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d656041439261693987\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"3 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/656041439261693987"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/656041439261693987"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/10/40-ounces-of-guaranteed-nba-predictions.html","title":"40 OUNCES OF GUARANTEED NBA PREDICTIONS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Jordi"},"email":{"$t":"theserioustip@yahoo.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"3"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-6088541052547295129"},"published":{"$t":"2007-08-15T15:17:00.000-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:48:43.087-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Video Game"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Madden"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Titans"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"BOHChris"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"satire"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Vince Young"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Titans' Young Fully Prepared to Embrace Madden Curse"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by BOHChris, The Blog of HilarityNASHVILLE -- Tennessee Titans' quarterback Vince Young is this year's cover athlete of the popular Madden video game series, a prestigious honor that has been said to have derailed the careers of many promising athletes. But Young has decided that he'll combat the so-called Curse the best way he knows how.Young has already gone out of his way to embrace the Curse"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6088541052547295129/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6088541052547295129\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6088541052547295129"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6088541052547295129"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/08/titans-young-fully-prepared-to-embrace.html","title":"Titans' Young Fully Prepared to Embrace Madden Curse"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"BOHChris"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-6093364515363256025"},"published":{"$t":"2007-08-11T09:31:00.000-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:48:43.397-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Wrestling"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Kyle Smith"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rupert"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"TNA wrestling"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dswinder"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"theoriginaljd"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Titans"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Stan"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"BD"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"BOHChris"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Adam Best"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"House Of Mirrors"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"The Feed"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"House of Mirrors: Pacman Jones"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by theoriginaljd, Six Pack Sports ReportHistory is full of great debate. Questions that remain unanswered like \"what came first the chicken or the egg?\" or \"can you get pregnant through anal?\" Luckily for you - the huddled masses - Epic Carnival is here to settle these arguments once and for all. House of Mirrors is your favorite Carnies taking a look at one another and debating the mysteries of "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6093364515363256025/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6093364515363256025\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6093364515363256025"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6093364515363256025"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/08/house-of-mirrors-pacman-jones.html","title":"House of Mirrors: Pacman Jones"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"jdroche"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-183935063880992903"},"published":{"$t":"2007-08-10T01:03:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-08-15T11:01:32.671-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Video"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Wrestling"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pacman jones"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Luke Halpert"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Video From Pacman's TNA Debut"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by Luke Halpert, Nyjer PleaseLadies and gentlemen, this is going to be very, very, very interesting. I can't believe this is actually happening. An NFL superstar is a professional wrestler. Hell must have frozen over because I'd never think I'd be saying that in my wildest dreams*.Video after the jump.Pacman Thinks He's A Team Player - Nyjer Please* Not that I'm dreaming about things like that or"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/183935063880992903/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d183935063880992903\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/183935063880992903"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/183935063880992903"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2007/08/video-from-pacmans-tna-debut.html","title":"Video From Pacman's TNA Debut"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Nyjer Please"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}}]}});