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Adam Mister Jones. At $700,000 for the year, he's strictly small change in terms of lack of bang for the buck -- heck, Roy Williams is making $3.7 million to catch less than two balls a game and make Terrible Owens even crazier than usual -- but at least Williams is inconspicuous in his suckery. 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Yes, I know, this means you have to admit to watching the halftime with the sound up, rather than switching over to something smarter, like wrestling or a Bollywood channel, but it was wortwhile. Agent Drew, the mouthpiece of record for the Vickian Plaxico Burress, was on to be interviewed about... "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/4848474490418403405/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d4848474490418403405\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4848474490418403405"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4848474490418403405"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/12/top-13-things-that-drew-rosenhaus-will.html","title":"Top 13 things that Drew Rosenhaus will not comment on"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-6161903331619628968"},"published":{"$t":"2008-12-01T21:01:00.004-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-12-02T08:38:20.541-06:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"knicks"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stephon marbury"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 10 ways for the Knicks to resolve the Stephon Marbury situation"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool10. Military action. Hey, the guys that cleaned up that mess in Mumbai are probably free by now. Send them over to Starbury's place. Or, failing that, Plaxico Burress. He's local and probably looking for a new line of work, and it's not like you have to be that fast to take advantage of Marbury anymore...9. Bring in Drew Rosenhaus. Hey, the man knows how to get coach "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/6161903331619628968/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d6161903331619628968\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6161903331619628968"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/6161903331619628968"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/12/top-10-ways-for-knicks-to-resolve.html","title":"Top 10 ways for the Knicks to resolve the Stephon Marbury situation"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-8676201021647921944"},"published":{"$t":"2008-11-25T23:40:00.006-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-11-26T08:56:40.972-06:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Old People"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"quitting"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 10 unfortunate NFL endings"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolThe Washington Redskins decided that they had seen enough of Shaun Alexander today, after four games and eleven carries. That's going to make for an awkward line on the plaque, assuming that someone ever makes a plaque for the man who, after setting the single-season NFL touchdown record, was never good again. You can feel free to blame my unrelenting curse on him for"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/8676201021647921944/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d8676201021647921944\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8676201021647921944"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/8676201021647921944"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/11/top-10-unfortunate-nfl-endings.html","title":"Top 10 unfortunate NFL endings"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7861036032067449825"},"published":{"$t":"2008-11-06T06:35:00.003-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-11-06T08:05:33.041-06:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL Network"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hate"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 11 reasons why I hate the NFL Network"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool11. They are just trying to gouge the good people at Comcast, Cablevision, and several other fine providers of cable television programming that I'm trying to hit up for ads on my blog10. Employed Bryant Gumbel for reasons entirely unrelated to the removal of fecal matter9. Makes me associate Harry Kalas with a non-championship sports product8. Contributes to the slow"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/7861036032067449825/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d7861036032067449825\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7861036032067449825"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/7861036032067449825"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/11/top-11-reasons-why-i-hate-nfl-network.html","title":"Top 11 reasons why I hate the NFL Network"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-4006605939888765834"},"published":{"$t":"2008-10-26T17:49:00.005-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-10-26T17:56:29.218-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NBA"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hate"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sonics"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Top 12 things you learn from the NY Times' mouth job of the OK City Thunder"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolAs a public service to Epic Carnival's time-stressed readers, we proudly present what you need to know from today's, um, comprehensive piece in the NY Times on the NBA's newest locale.12. Lead thief Clay Bennett gets a bad rap because, among other things, he's very polite, at least to NYT reporters11. Hornets' owner George Shinn might be an even bigger scumbag than "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/4006605939888765834/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d4006605939888765834\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4006605939888765834"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/4006605939888765834"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/10/top-12-things-you-learn-from-ny-times.html","title":"Top 12 things you learn from the NY Times' mouth job of the OK City Thunder"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-1364636226407363764"},"published":{"$t":"2008-09-24T15:32:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:45:40.220-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"NFL"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Matt Millen"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lions"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 10 FUN FACTS ABOUT THE MILLEN ERA"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool ToolIn case you haven't heard the news (and don't live near Detroit, where local authorities have declared a civic holiday and martial law), breathtakingly incompetent Lions GM Matt Millen was relieved of his duties today.As a sports blogger and someone who really enjoyed betting against the Lions, I will miss him terribly. As a football fan who had to endure the Lions on"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/1364636226407363764/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d1364636226407363764\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"3 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1364636226407363764"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/1364636226407363764"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/09/top-10-fun-facts-about-millen-era.html","title":"TOP 10 FUN FACTS ABOUT THE MILLEN ERA"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"3"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-3541695770277948920"},"published":{"$t":"2008-05-07T05:39:00.005-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-05-07T05:59:00.438-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"urge to kill rising"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"television"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Media"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 20 TELEVISON SPORTS PET PEEVES"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool20. Super Cool and Nifty Coach Access.We get it, the coaches talk to you before the game, and they divulge INCREDIBLE SECRETS that only you, cherished media person, could know. Because none of the rest of us could possibly have guessed that the team was going to have patient at bats today, or that they were going to test the rookie cornerback. What a scoop!19. "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/3541695770277948920/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d3541695770277948920\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3541695770277948920"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/3541695770277948920"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/05/top-20-televison-sports-pet-peeves.html","title":"TOP 20 TELEVISON SPORTS PET PEEVES"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-905311146585219767"},"published":{"$t":"2008-04-20T23:04:00.001-05:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:15.048-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Blue Jays"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Toronto"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Frank Thomas"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lists"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 12 REASONS THE BLUE JAYS RELEASED FRANK THOMAS"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool12. When he grazed on the Astroturf, it was genuinely disturbing11. His TV ad made the team's management wet themselves10. Leading the team in homers and RBIs last year made a slow April unacceptable9. General manager JP Riccardi wants to be known as not just an unemployed stathead nerd, but a genius unemployed stathead nerd8. Team was desperate to start the Matt "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/feeds/905311146585219767/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID\u003d1549089718489651445\u0026postID\u003d905311146585219767\u0026isPopup\u003dtrue","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/905311146585219767"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1549089718489651445/posts/default/905311146585219767"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.epiccarnival.com/2008/04/top-12-reasons-blue-jays-released-frank.html","title":"TOP 12 REASONS THE BLUE JAYS RELEASED FRANK THOMAS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"DMtShooter"},"email":{"$t":"shootout@mailcity.com"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1549089718489651445.post-7342237029419692294"},"published":{"$t":"2008-02-29T03:00:00.003-06:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-09-29T13:42:18.093-05:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Cubs"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wrigley field"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sports"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stealing money"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Crying"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"MLB"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DMtShooter"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"TOP 11 REASONS WHY WRIGLEY FIELD CAN'T CHANGE ITS NAME"},"summary":{"type":"text","$t":"by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool11. Because, as the video shows, you don't really want to see wht Cub Fan is capable of when provoked10. Unmatched legacy of success9. If the name is changed, every man, woman and child will have to refer to it by its new corporate name, or risk imprisonment8. 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