NEW JORDANS APPARENTLY DESIGNED BY 1ST GRADER

by Tbone, The Sports Hernia


There they are folks, the new Air Jordan XX3's. That's right, for those of you other than Turtle that actually give a flying jizz shot about stuff like this, it's the 23rd installment of the sneaker series and yes, it's being marketed as 'Air Jordan XX3 by number 23' -- clever stuff indeed.

I don't know about you but I stopped buying these moonboots after Air Jordan 5, and ever since then they've become progressively and impressively retarded. What's with the 'm' explosion all over the side? Yeah, I get it, it stands for Michael but it looks like some ill-fated McDonald's/M & M logo explosion, not a fucking basketball shoe.

I'm guessing an assload of money goes into R&D for a high profile line like this, and the final product they come up with features a visual feast of lower-case cursive "m's"? I can only assume some first grader was practicing the coveted "m" on one of those lefty sheets and like an asshole, failed. What the fuck? This is supposed to be MJ's signature shoe but it looks like shit scribble to me. What happened to the simple non-clusterfuck designs like Jordan 1 and 2?

Notice the black plastic/rubber that runs along the bottom and then curls up towards the front of the laces. You see the reflection of the person taking the picture? Brilliant, I always wanted basketball sneakers that would have the ability to show the reflection of some dickhead taking a picture of them. That's key shit.

Well done Nike, this sneaker sucks.

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