DEAR TYPICAL HORNY MALE SPORTS FAN

by Simon, SimonOnSports

Dear Typical Horny Male Sports Fan,

You see these two tiny pink layers separating me from you, two tiny pieces of fabric restricting you from certain pleasure and forcing you to utilize that tricky imagination that you often are too lazy to put into gear. Well fear not my friend as these layers which are the burden keeping female tennis from pulling Super Bowl ratings will be shed for your eyes and your eyes alone. That's right boys and curious girls in August you will get what you've always wanted, photographs of an in shape, delicious, and blond tennis player. All you need to do is purchase that months issue of the well respected Playboy magazine.

What else do you get with the photographs? Well there are limitless options. For instance, when I came up as youngster many considered me to be the American Anna Kournikova. If you purchase a bunch of magazines than maybe you could convince her to do the magazine as well. Perhaps we could even have shots taken together, two for the price of one if you will.

Need more benefits? Well myself and Maria have very similar features so if you must I bet you could have some fun photoshopping her head on my body. Probably wouldn't be that difficult to do.

I would tell you to watch my hotness in action at the French Open this week, but unfortunately that steroid abusing middle line backer of a woman, Serena Williams, beat me. How the hell is a beautiful woman like myself supposed to take down a man beast?

Regardless, when the mag hits the shelves pick it up and feel free to use me as your favorite eye candy piece for alone time with your strong hand. I'd appreciate that.

Thanks,
Ashley

PS. Buy the mag please, I bet if you buy a lot they'll have me do it again and I could really use the money. Thanks.

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