by WCT, The Ship of Fools
Once again, nobody else going to say it? Fine. I will: Derek Jeter is having the worst season since he was a 21 year-old late-season call-up in 1995.
Not only is the American League's 2008 All-Star starter at SS (ugh!) on pace to have his worst full-season totals in HR, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and stolen bases; but his numbers have seemingly taken a tumble all of the sudden.
In 2006, just two seasons ago, Jeter finished 2nd in the MVP balloting while amassing a .343 batting average, a 900 OPS, and 34 stolen bases. This season he is batting .281, with a 738 OPS (below league average), and 6 (6!) stolen bases. He has the same number as stolen bases in 107 games as somebody named Justin Christian has in 18. And to add insult to injury, he has grounded into the second most double plays of anyone in the American League.
His home run numbers the last 4 years read like this: 23, 19, 14, 12, and this year: 6. Slugging percentage: .471, .450, .483, .452, and in '08:.393. So while the (career low) batting average is still respectable, and he still hits better with runners in scoring position, it is inarguable that he has lost (or is in the process of losing) his power.
Joe Morgan said something very profound recently (I'm just as surprised as you are). He said, if you're in your 20s and you have a bad year, its a bad year. If you're in your 30s and you have a bad year, people start to whisper that you might be done. I'm not saying that Jeter is done -- he may kill it in the final few weeks of the '08 season, and/or he may bounce back and have an '09 season that is similar to his '06 season -- but his numbers have fallen off significantly and abruptly, and it may be cause for concern for the Yankee fans that have worshipped at his feet all these many years.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
DEREK JETER IS OFFICIALLY HAVING THE WORST YEAR OF HIS LIFE
Monday, July 7, 2008
NOBODY ELSE IS GOING TO SAY IT, SO I WILL
by WCT, The Ship of Fools
In the uproar that has emerged over Jason Varitek's laughable inclusion on the 2008 American League All-Star team, one thing has slipped under the radar, and that is Derek Jeter's inclusion in the starting lineup.
Now, I am not someone who normally gets bent out of shape about this sort of thing, because after all, the All-Star starters are picked by the fans, and the fans by and large have no idea what they are doing. But if people are going to kill the Red Sox captain, then someone needs to point out just how average the Yankee captain has been this year.
We have come a long way since the 90s, when the position of AL shortstop was the glamour position in baseball. Where so many great players played that position that there was an absolute stud who was forced to be left off the All-Star team each year. As it stands now, the position of AL shortstop is weak, and you could make a good case for Jeter to be included on the All-Star roster. But the fact is, he should not be starting over Michael Young. Young, a reserve, has a higher batting average, higher OPS, more HRs, more RBI, more runs scored, and more hits than Captain Clutch. Yes, Young plays his home games in a better hitter's park than Jeter, but he also has committed fewer errors, has a better fielding percentage, has turned almost twice as many double plays, and has a better range factor than Jeter. So he is also a better fielder than Jeter. In fact, you could even make an argument that Jhonny Peralta, of the pathetic, colossally-disappointing Cleveland Indians (give me a second as I breathe into a brown paper bag...ok) deserves the nod over Jeter. Peralta has more HRs, more RBI, and a better OPS than DJ, but with the way the Indians have shit all over themselves, (give me a moment...serenity now! Ok) Jhonny isn't going to get the benefit of the doubt.
I know that everything done by the Red Sox and Yankees is necessarily more important than everything done by everyone on the other 28 MLB teams, but to me, Derek Jeter doesn't deserve a starting spot on this year's All-Star team. Nevermind the fact that 2008 has been arguably his worst year, there is at least one other guy more deserving. Jason Varitek has been the sports world's punching bag today for his inexplicable All-Star invitation, but we also need to question the inclusion of the SS with the .385 slugging percentage.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I CAN'T EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS
by Tracer Bullet, Staff Writer
This was my dream last night:
It started off at some kind of evening mass at King's College in London. I have never been to King's College in London. I've never even been to King's College in Pennsylvania and I've been inside a church voluntarily maybe once in the past 15 years. I'm there with a bunch of doughy white guys I know, but can't place.
I get up from the pew to go to the bathroom before the service and on the way, there is a television. Why? Who the hell knows. I don't know what program was on, but there is a crawl suggesting something about my brother, a Dora the Explorer stuffed doll belonging to LeBron James and the possibility that my brother has knocked up a pastor's daughter.
The scene switches to an NBA game and for some reason, my brother is guarding James. My brother is a pretty good basketballer, but he was never NBA-good and even if he was, Bron has at least eight inches and 50 pounds on him so that would be a bad matchup anyway.
James, inexplicably, has a Dora the Explorer doll behind the three point line. He drives and my brother swats it away. As the doll slides out of bounds, my brother dives after it. When interviewed later, he says something goofy but I never learn anything about him banging a pastor's daughter or what roll Dora might have played in that exchange. Perhaps it was a threesome, perhaps Dora ran the camera.
On the inbounds, what had been an NBA game has morphed into an extremely disorganized pickup game involving far too many people. James is saying he's "Unstoppable."
He is now being guarded by either Derrick Jeter or this asshole linebacker I used to play with -- they both have that light brown coloring that makes it impossible to tell if they're black, biracial, Indian, Latin or Pakastani.
Jeter/asshole replies that, because James has achieved "amateur driver" status from NASCAR, he can be fouled with impunity. I have no idea what anything in that sentence means.
James takes the inbounds, drives the lane and Jeter/asshole tackles him from behind and slams him on the pavement.
They roll around for a few minutes and when they get up, Lebron has become Spider-Man. They swing at each other a few times until Jeter/asshole absolutely clocks Spider-Man, who drops likes he's been shot.
(This was likely influenced by a show I watched on ESPN Classic this week called "Boxing's 20 Greatest Knockouts." Kermit Washington was cruelly omitted, but in fairness, it was the wrong sport.)
Of course, the crowd goes ballistic and I'm screaming, "You got KNOCKED DA' F--- OUT."
I woke up shortly thereafter. Man, I need football season to start again.
Friday, May 16, 2008
DEREK JETER GETS NO LOVE OUTSIDE THE MAXIM HOT 100
by The Sports Diva, TSD Magazine
Good News Jeter: You've dated six girls on the Maxim hot 100 list.
Bad News Jeter: Some people don't like you because of your race.
Derek Jeter was one of the lucky few who received hateful letters/emails from David Tuason. The letters/emails were racially hateful. He had sent over 200 of these letters/emails to mostly men who are mixed or African-American and who have dated white women. The man is of Filipino descent and from Cleveland, Ohio (why does he have to be from Ohio?). And of course he lived there with his parents. And in some of these letters he tried to pretend he was a white woman threatening "violent acts" to the recipients. Oh and he was doing all this at his local public library. That's where the FBI tracked the emails being sent from.
Now shouldn't this be lesson to all you athletes, celebrities, successful people. When you date the beautiful, you end up pissing off the others. The ones who are 46, still living with their parents, and using their local library's computers to send hate mail. Think before you date next time. It's for the good of the people.
[source: Associated Press]
Thursday, December 20, 2007
INSIDE THE YANKEES' FORT: PART II
by Ray, Flyers Fieldhouse
A-Rod is off in his own world, playing with Tonka trucks in front of his locker. The clubhouse is dimly lit and empty. Or so he believes.
Alex: Vrrrrrrrr. Beep beep beep! Move out, dump truck coming through.
(Alex hears grunting coming from the bathroom.)
Alex: Hey, not fair. Mr. George told me I could have playtime by myself eight hours a day. No one gets in here without knowing the secret handshake.
(Alex peeks his head around the corner. Jason Giambi has torn a sink out of the wall and is now trying to eat it.)
Alex: Awwwww, I'm telling! You're in big trouble now.
Jason: What the hell are you doing here, Twinkletoes? Mind your own damn business. This is grown-up stuff.
Alex: Well too bad, mister. You can't come in my room without my say-so. (yelling) Geoooooooorge! The scary man is hurting stuff again!
Jason: (frantically) Wait wait, keep your voice down. We just need to cool out, man. Hey, you wanna play a grown-up game?
Alex: Wellllll ... I guess. What's it called?
Jason: (produces needle) Steroids, man. Everybody's doing it.
Alex: No way! Mr. Boras told me I can't do that stuff. He told me my wee-wee would turn into a girl private.
Jason: Naw man, he's just a narc. I do it. Roger does it. You want to hang out with the cool kids, right? Don't you wanna sit in the back of the plane instead of with the nerds up front?
Alex: Well ... yeah. How do I play?
Jason: First you have to take off your pants, turn around, and touch your toes.
Alex: Nuh uh, Hank already made me play this game and it hurt for like 40 seconds!
Jason: (visibly freaked out) Um, no, not that game. Just trust me. You can trust me, right?
Alex: OK, fine. But I better not see any vegetables again.
(Jason raises the needle, ready to destroy the reputation and potential legacy of one of the game's greatest players, when Derek Jeter storms into the bathroom.)
Derek: Halt, evildoer!
Jason: Buzzkill.
Derek: Do not let him do this to you, Alex. I know you're lonely without Scott. I know you're lost in this crazy, mixed up world right now. But remember; you have a friend right here.
Alex: Awww really, DJ?
Derek: Don't call me that. And you! (turns to Giambi) How dare you? Just because your life is shallow and pathetic and meaningless, don't you dare drag him into this. He's just a kid for Christ's sakes.
Jason: He's 32.
Derek: Yeah, but look at him. He's eating paste out of the office supplies cabinet. He knows no better. Peddle your wares somewhere else, douche bag.
Jason: (reduced to tears) Rogerrrrrrr, Derek is being a meanie-head! Make him stop!
Derek: God, if you can hear me ... kill me.
Read Part One here.
Friday, November 16, 2007
IS DEREK JETER STILL A TRUE YANKEE?
by Kyle Smith, End Zone Buzz
Funny how different perception can be. Alex Rodriguez is not, and may never be, accepted as a "True Yankee," even though he wanted to be back in New York so badly, he made Scott Boras sit out of negotiations on his new contract. There's no doubt, that despite the often hostile nature with the way Rodriguez is treated by some fans, he wants desperately to be accepted there.
Derek Jeter? Well, he loves New York, too. Unless he has to pay state taxes. Then, he doesn't love it quite as much. Even though it's hardly caused a ripple in the news, Derek Jeter is in trouble for evading local New York state tax by claiming Florida as his primary residence instead of New York. Apparently, lying has degrees to which the media will pay attention.
Fibbing about steroids? Well, entire networks will devote ten straight hours of "breaking news" coverage to that, getting anybody and everybody they can to comment about it. Fibbing about taxes? Well, it'll get a mention, but you know, Jeter's a really nice guy, and it's probably just a mix-up, so no harm, no foul. I wonder what the reaction to this news might have been if Bonds were in the same situation.
For further reading about this, I direct you, through the Business Beat blog, to a filing in the case. If you can get through the legalese, you may find some of Jeter's objection's interesting.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
TONY ROMO IS A GOLDEN GOD
by Shorty, Milk Was a Bad Choice
Let me start by saying that at 28 years old, I am far too old to be worrying about who my favorite player is, but that's a post for another day. As a Miami Dolphins and New York Yankee fan growing up, it was always fairly easy to recognize who my favorite player was. Donnie Baseball carried the Yankees through the 1980's when their best starting pitchers were Andy Hawkins, Rick Rhoden and a guy who had an elbow repair surgery named after him. With Mattingly on the brink of retirement, a young Derek Jeter stepped in and became the biggest man crush of my adult life. Meanwhile in the citrus state, Dan Marino quarterbacked the Dolphins for 17 of the first 21 years of my existence. When Marino called it quits in 1999 I was left with a serious void. Luckily, or at least I thought at the time, the Fish traded for Ricky Williams and I immediately went out and purchased a #34 Jersey that has literally gone up in smoke twice now in a four year span.
Listen, I really enjoy watching Ronnie Brown run the football and I wish Coach Cam'ron hadn't felt the urge to mysteriously get Jesse Chapman into the mix for the better part of two games, but since the Dolphins are so terrible, it's difficult to get too excited about any of their players. Same case could be made for Jason Taylor. An interesting development has occurred this season that has given me new hope in the favorite player department. It's safe to say that Fantasy Football has changed the way many of us view the NFL on Sundays. Games that generally would provide no interest, now can bring all sorts of drama when one of your fantasy players is involved. When Dallas QB Tony Romo fell into my lap in the sixth round this year I was ecstatic. Little did I know just how incredible he would perform over the first month of the season. He has almost single-handedly carried my club to a 3-1 record and does not appear to be slowing down anytime soon.
The thing about Romo is that he's truly fun to watch. He's exciting, exuberant and plays with the emotion of a kid in the playground. He's good looking, he pulls major tail and he plays for 'America's Team', the Dallas Cowboys. My question is whether it's wrong of me to root harder for my fantasy guys than my own team? The Dolphins haven't been good since Marino left and they don't plan on it either, or else they wouldn't have hired the leader of Dipset to be their head coach. Besides, I'm not abandoning the Fish, just rooting hard for Mr. Romo until they right their ship. There's nothing wrong with that...at least...I don't think...
Monday, August 27, 2007
Top 11 Signs That Yankee Fan Is Losing It
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
After yesterday's loss to the formerly reeling Tigers, the best team that money could buy is 2 games out of the wildcard, 7.5 games out of the division and a lot less confident then they were a week ago (when those numbers were 0.5 and 4, respectively. And if you think we're Sox fans, please check the historical record. Remember, the fact that Yankee or Red Sox Fan is sad at the end of the year is proof of God's Love.
So what are the Top 10 Signs that Yankee Fan is Starting to feel the wind leave their sails?
11. Starting to wonder, privately, if the Clemens contract was really worth it
10. Can't stop talking about The Schedule
9. Had to be coaxed off a ledge after Jeter and Posada sat out Sunday's loss with injury
8. Caring *way* too much about the Seattle Mariners
7. Convinced that Johnny Damon is still secretly on the Boston payroll
6. Wants Joba Chamberlain to pitch every game... and maybe every inning
5. Still sitting shiva for Rizzuto
4. While admitting Bobby Abreu can hit, still contend he's no Paulie O'Neill
3. After his last two starts, has no positive memories of Mike Mussina
2. Still having nightmare flashbacks involving Kei Igawa and Carl Pavano
1. Secretly ready to blame everything on A-Rod
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Did Jeter Give Jessica the Herpes?
by SportsGirl365, Strike Zones and End Zones
So apparently rumor has it that Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes. I want to know why people automatically assume he gave it to her? Either way, with the amount of people both of those sluts have been with, I think I might buy stock in Valtrex. It’s bound to go through the roof pretty soon.
I don’t know why everyone gets so shocked when beautiful famous people get herpes. Sports and Hollywood is just one big orgy anyway. The reason this particularly sucks is because it knocks two people off of my “Celebrities I’d like to have sex with” list. Well, actually three because Arod obviously has it too.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
House of Mirrors: Derek Jeter or Tom Brady?
by theoriginaljd, Six Pack Sports Report
History is full of great debate. Questions that remain unanswered like "what came first the chicken or the egg?" or "can you get pregnant through anal?" Luckily for you - the huddled masses - Epic Carnival is here to settle these arguments once and for all. House of Mirrors is your favorite Carnies taking a look at one another and debating the mysteries of the universe. This week the EC writers take a stab at debating if they could be either of these men for one weekend which would be it: Derek Jeter or Tom Brady?
DEREK JETER:
SportsGirl356 (Strike Zones and End Zones): Derek Jeter. Because then I'd get to have sex with Arod.
BOHChris (Blog of Hilarity): Derek Jeter. I feel like if I had sex with Tom Brady, it'd make me gay, just because he's so metrosexual and kind of gay. But I think with Derek Jeter, he'd make me feel like it was just a couple of guys hanging out, only they happen to be doing things to each other involving penises (penii?). I've got no doubt that's how he convinced Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Minnillo, and countless others. Plus Derek might make me feel just as pretty as those girls. *single tear. (Editor's note: Chris apparently misunderstood the question.)
DCScrap (Our Book of Scrap): I'd rather be Jeter. It wasn't even that hard to decide either. Let's look at the current situations for each guy. Brady is dating a supermodel. Nice to look at, but probably high maintenance. Jeter could get a supermodel if he wanted one. Brady has paparazzi following him around every single moment he is with his woman. Jeter dates hot chicks and it hardly registers on the celeb-news radar. Brady has a beautiful well-known ex-girlfriend with a bun in the oven. That's going to be a problem (and already has been one). Jeter knows how to wrap that rascal. Brady plays football, a job that according to those mushy-headed NFL retirees shortens your life as well as reduces the quality of the lives that they do live. On the other hand, Jeter is a baseball player. He plays for the Yankees and he can pretty much date any piece of strange he wants with hardly a peep out of the media. Why are we even having this discussion?
TOM BRADY:
theoriginaljd (Six Pack Sports Report): Once again I am embarrassed to even have to talk about this like it's even a competition. Remember when Derek Jeter was getting all that crap in New York for "staying out to late?" Well guess what, Tom Brady impregnated one of the hottest women in Hollywood and when she getting ready to give birth you know where he was? Banging Giselle Bunchen (one of the hottest women on the planet) for her birthday. You'd expect him to get hammered in the papers right? Not a word. Tom Brady is bulletproof. He could bang Giselle on top of Bridget while she was breast feeding their child and the people of Boston would smile and nod. You think Derek Jeter is a God - well you've never been to Boston because Tom Brady spits in Derek Jeter's face. If Tom ever decides to drop Giselle there will be a line around Copley Square of girls wanting to spread it for #12. I mean the guy made photo shoots with goats look sexy - tell me that Derek Jeter could do that? If Tom Brady was ever found in a Southie back alley getting a reach around from O'Brien the tranny hooker that would become socially acceptable immediately (we can only hope). So yet again I've had to straighten you all out - because the obvious answer is Tom Brady, hands down.
Eric (Shakedown Sports): This is an easy one. I'd be Tom Brady so I don't have to spend three days thinking about the fact that Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Alba, Maria Carey, and Jordanna Brewster all left me because of my inability to satisfy a woman.
Sooze (Babes Love Baseball): If I were seriously going to choose, I'd want to be Tom Brady. My hand would be broken in less than an hour if I were Derek Jeter from bitch-slapping A-Rod and yankin the yankee all day, blah blah gayness and then more gay stuff. Can't I be Brett Favre?
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