by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
Today in Miami, placekicker Jay Feely was cut after the most accurate season in Dolphins history. In his exit interview with the press, Feely alleged that Dolphins management never made him feel welcome after the changeover to Bill Parcells. What were the clues?
10. Team brought in other kickers, and had them set up in his locker and sleep with his wife
9. Special teams coach kept asking, "Are you still here?"
8. Parcells had photos made of last year's captains, with large red X marks on all personnel
7. Kept bringing up "what you did in Seattle"
6. Told to stop being such a Jesuit, and a biped
5. As a Michigan alumni, made to answer for the crimes of Lloyd Carr
4. Parcells told him, point-blank, that every time Chris Berman referred to him as "Touchy Feely" during their time together at ESPN, he burst a blood vessel
3. Unlike the other kickers and punters, had to bus tables and pay for lunch at training camp
2. Given the nicknames "AJ, "Norwood", and "Unemployment Compensation Claim"
1. Um, he's a freaking kicker... does anyone ever want those guys?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
TOP 10 SIGNS THE DOLPHINS DIDN'T WANT JAY FEELY
TOP 10 PLAYERS IN FANTASY FOOTBALL THAT WILL GIVE YOU AN ULCER
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Willis McGahee, RB, Baltimore Ravens. Here's a quick SAT question -- which of these three things does not belong? (1) Knee surgery in August, (2) Full strength starter in September, (3) Confident first round draft pick. Buyer beware...
9. Plaxico Burress, WR, New York Giants. Plax has an ankle that just won't get healthy, contract demands that just haven't been satisfied, and a Super Bowl ring on his finger that probably isn't making him any easier to deal with. Last year's 12 TDs and 1,025 yards seems a long time ago, doesn't it?
8. Jeff Garcia, QB, Tampa Bay Bucs. He's probably not high on your list anyway, but consider this... if the public flirtation with He Who Shall Remain Nameless don't undermine his Steve DeBerg-like confidence, the other 15 quarterbacks on the roster definitely will. And if he goes flush, Ernest Graham and Joey Galloway follow with speed, because there isn't anyone else on the roster that can move the sticks.
7. Matt Hasselbeck, QB, Seattle Seahawks. Last year's sneaky good second tier play gets a better running game and loses wideouts by the bushel (Deion Branch is hurt, Bobby Engram just cracked a bone in his shoulder, and DJ Hackett signed with Carolina). Can he make chicken salad out of Nate Burleson and Ben Obomanu? Not on my team, he won't.
6. Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina Panthers. Now, here's a trendy sleeper pick... or at least he was until Steve Smith had to go Michael Westbrook upside Ken Lucas's nose. Elbow surgery is a dicey thing for anyone, let alone a 33-year-old QB with an up and down career, but if you believe Hackett can stay healthy and Moose Muhammad has anything left in the tank, he's still a quality second tier option. So long as Smith doesn't pull a Carruth.
5. Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh. If you owned him last year, you watched him pound out 1400 yards the very hard way, with trivial touchdown production and a playoff crushing injury. Now with rookie Rashard Mendenhall starting with Najeh Davenport's vulture role and just going up from there, he's well on his way to going back to the dread change of pace role that he probably should have had all along. Reality sucks.
4. Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis. Everyone's favorite candidate for Fading Star may not be high on your draft board, but he's a hand grenade to the hopes of Anthony Gonzalez, and any resurgence would also take Dallas Clark down a few pegs from his top three TE status. Peyton Manning will get his numbers no matter what, but how he gets them is another matter entirely, and a good last hurrah year could even steal some yards from true #1 Reggie Wayne. That's three high picks that could all get sidetracked by a 35-year-old wideout, but also a first ballot Hall of Famer.
3. Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City. He's one of the few remaining feature backs in the league. In the last three years, he's put up 2,093 yards with 21 TDs, 2,199 yards with 19 TDs... and 745 yards with 4 TDs. At 28, he's still got a bounce-back year in him, doesn't he? Not with this line and QB, but even if you just split the difference, you're looking at 1,500 yards and 10 TDs, which is to say, more than you'll probably get from all but a half dozen backs. No matter where you draft him, assuming that your league doesn't entirely whiff and let him go to the third round, you're going to twitch a lot.
2. Tarvaris Jackson, QB, Minnesota. Sure, you aren't going to draft him, but he might be the only man in the NFL who can stop Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson, who you might draft #1 overall. Jackson's working with what should be a dynamite defense, the most explosive RB in the game, an upgraded receiving corps and a strong homefield advantage. He's also got a coach that needs to make the playoffs to keep his job, and immortals like Brooks Bollinger and Gus Frerotte backing him up, so it's entirely on his shoulders. He won't be throwing into a lot of multiple defensive back sets, but that might not matter... and if he can't execute, neither will Peterson. At least not enough for where you'll draft him.
1. Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati Bengals. Is he the latest passenger on the Drew Rosenhaus Underground Railroad, a misunderstood man-child who has never had a significant off-field incident on a team of convicts, or a candidate for Operation Shutdown after the Bengals stumble with a bad defense and a tough schedule? Probably all of the above, but all of that discounts a surprisingly consistent 1400 yards and 8 touchdowns, and cringing horror when you see him on the news. Remember, last year, this went by the name of Randy Moss... but it also left town first.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
TOP 10 IMPLICATIONS FROM THE NFL'S VIDEOTAPE REVIEW FOR GANG SIGNALS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
In case you missed this, here's a link. Now, on to the list!
10. The league office is running out of excuses to fine people
9. Michael Vick has become a criminal mastermind in his time in the stir, and is plotting something big for his revenge
8. The Shocker Gang terrifies (and fascinates) league officials
7. That Darius Miles / Quentin Richardson Fists On Thing haunts their dreams
6. Players are stubbornly refusing to become robots
5. If Sicilian hand gestures were good enough for Brono Nagurski and Johnny Unitas, they are good enough for all of you punks
4. Rock Paper Scissors at the league office is punishable by immediate termination
3. Everyone involved in decision making at the league office is over 50, concerned about prostrate health, and whiter than the driven snow
2. The League's Negroes, despite persistent monitoring and counseling, still display symptoms of uppityness
1. The league's likely epidemic of HGH and steroid abuse, rampant mediocrity, a startling decline of proficiency at the quarterback position, lack of team in the second largest media market, open and festering PR chancres sores from Spygate and the NFL Network... are all less important than something that probably doesn't exist
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A MOST EPIC FANTASY HOOPS LEAGUE INDEED
One of the great joys of writing for a fine group site like Epic Carnival is the camaraderie and weirdness that goes on behind the scenes when you gather a group of over 20 of the most hilarious nutballs from across the globe. It's a mish-mash of quick wit, alcoholism, and immaturity that leads to a never ending onslaught of humorous communication.Well, tonight we may witness one of the finest highlights of that weirdness as the NBA regular season comes to a close. This is the final night of the MOST EPIC FANTASY HOOPS LEAGUE - the Epic Carnival intrasquad fantasy league. Like most fantasy hoops leagues, I think 9 of the 12 teams stopped paying attention about 2 months ago, but those of us who stuck around know that something amazing could potentialy go down tonight.
You see, tonight is the final matchup between my team, Codename Destro, versus Simon on Sports and his White Warriors. Currently, Codename Destro holds a 5 to 4 lead, but all eyes are on the White Warriors in this fight to the death. You see, Simon successfully concocted a championship caliber team of all white dudes. His roster is hilarious. Leading the charge, he has three guys who surname ends in "ic," Stojakovic, Nesterovic, and Vujacic. Then he has trusty guards like Hinrich, Ginobli, Calderon. And filling out the roster are keen pickups like Luis Scola, Mike Miller, Nick Collison, Okur, Kirilenko, Gasol, and Korver.
While I cannot help but hope to pull out the victory - particularly after and undefeated fantasy football team crapped out in week one of the playoffs - I have to hand it to Simon for a masterful job as GM. This team should inspire white dorks and Europeans across the glove to keep practicing those finger rolls and chest passes. Simon's team is living proof that some scrappy hustle and lack of jumping ability can take you far. So, while everyone else is wondering how the playoffs will round out tonight, we'll be torn between rooting for our fantasy championships or secretly cheering on the great white hope. Well, done Simon.
EDITOR'S UPDATE: The White Warriors pulled it off! Amazing.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
TOP 10 THREATS TO THE SPORTS BLOGOSPHERE
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
Inspired by this link, and the ever upcoming Blogmageddon...
10. Google Image Search stops bringing back results for the word "wanking"
9. General public loses interest in cell phone pictures of drunken athletes
8. Recession deepens, ending wildly lucrative online advertising contracts
7. Zombie networks of anonymous commenters hurt our feelings once and for all
6. Audience fragmentation accelerates to the point where everyone has their own group blog
5. Net neutrality fails, allowing ISPs to limit or censor access to snark and poon-heavy sites
4. Lawyers and politicians sue sports bloggers for libel, copyright infringement and libraries of porn
3. Old media visionaries like Bill Conlin, Stephen A. Smith, Sam Smith, Jay Mariotti and the guy who draws "Ziggy" all start blogging, taking away all of our audiences
2. Times get so tough, Mom raises the rent, forcing us all to, you know, get jobs
1. It stops being about the blogging, man
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
TOP 10 REJECTED TOP 10 LISTS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. "Accidental" injuries and wounds suffered by Mrs. Brett Myers after bad starts by her husband
9. Favorite Racial Epiteths and Generalizations From Athletes, Sportscasters and Sports Reporters
8. Unfortunate managerial and motivational tactics by EC's Dainty Sugarplum Editrix Scrap
7. Professions that make more money per hour than Blogging List Monkey
6. Hate Mail comments from anonymous windbags
5. Ways to brighten up our mom's basement for which we are totally paying rent and just staying in temporarily
4. Dikembe Mutumbo's tips for Better Sexing... of Dikembe Mutumbo
3. Sites that, um, inspire... yeah, that's it, inspire... top 10 lists
2. Ways in which Kevin Everett and Sean Taylor really hurt their teams last year
1. Favorite things about ESPN, Bill Simmons, Red Sox Fan, Patriots Fan and Anal Leakage (note: groups may be redundant)
TOP 10 THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT ISIAH THOMAS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
According to the Associated Press, Wednesday will finally be the day that Rasputin Thomas gets the axe in favor of Donnie Walsh. He might stay on for a few incredibly awkward weeks as head coach, but The Thousand Year Knick Reich is clearly on its last legs.
What will you miss most? For me, it'll be...
10. The Baghdad Bob-esque press conferences in which Isiah talks about championships when his team can't even get anywhere close to .500
9. The utterly adorable way in which the New York press would fall for Isiah's latest ill-conceived summer blockbuster trade or signing
8. The knowledge that he made New York beat writers incredibly sad, mad and frustrated
7. The fact that the Knicks were an auto-win for my Sixers, and that they'd make Billy King's contracts look sane
6. The utterly half-assed protests from all of those super-committed New York fans
5. The high-minded puling columns from people who tell you that for the NBA to be popular, the Knicks have to be relevant
4. The sight of watching a team just quit, year after year after year, and with ever-increasing speed
3. The mind-boggling amounts of luxury tax being paid for one of the absolute worst teams in the league
2. The knowledge that, no matter how badly I might perform my job, Isiah's sterling example showed that failing upward can get you to one of the biggest jobs in the game
1. That, rain or shine, in good times and in bad, I could count on him to give me a cheap bloghole fill
Thursday, March 27, 2008
TOP 10 SHAQ CRITICISMS ABOUT THE MIAMI HEAT
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Pat Riley stopped being a genius
9. Had to play with no-defense teammates like Ricky Davis and Chris Quinn, rather than no-defense teammates like Antoine Walker and Jason Williams
8. Dwayne Wade stopped getting 20 calls a game, rather than 30
7. Teammates' kids were fat
6. Heat insisted on playing overrated big men who were long past their prime... like that Alfonzo Mourning guy
5. Unlike when he trashed old organizations in Los Angeles and Orlando, this time's it is completely warranted
4. Heat pursued a dubious strategy of making him become older and slower
3. Over time, club started making him shoulder more of the load by actually showing up and playing during the regular season
2. Heat did nothing about all of these mean fantasy league types who refused to own him anymore
1. Didn't take his second career as the world's largest police officer seriously
Thursday, January 31, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED AS A CARNIE
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Scrap only hits me when he's sober
9. Sooze only likes me 'cuz I'm pretty
8. Don wants me to bind my feet and bow, a lot
7. No one respects lists, man, but that's OK, 'cause I *feed* off the haters
6. If you write posts that mention your fellow Carnies, they're much more likely to comment, but only if you don't mention it
5. The Blog Wiser Hot Seat guys may interview you, but they won't call you the next day -- and that just makes you feel, I don't know, kind of used
4. Anonymous's father does terrible, terrible things to him... and videotapes it
3. Jack's Cobra is more of an eel, not that there's anything wrong with that
2. In every top 10 list, there's always one entry that just stands up and screams "Filler", no matter how much you try to hide the hackery
1. People who read sports blogs like titty a hell of a lot more than they like lists
Monday, January 7, 2008
THE BLOGBUDSMAN: HOW TO BECOME A "KNOWN" SPORTS BLOG
by BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity
The Blogbudsman is your weekly take on the blogosphere, written as objectively and honestly as possible. Questions, comments, and suggestions should go to roomtonecsATblogofhilarityDOTcom
After taking a couple of weeks off here on Epic Carnival to celebrate the birth of Santa Claus and the annual celebration of me passing out under a sofa to ring in the new year, I'm back with another bit of wisdom for you in The Blogbudsman. Rejoice.
This is an issue that others have addressed before in humor, but hey, I'm here to help you avoid the pratfalls of becoming a generic nuisance. There are literally millions upon millions of blogs out there. So how can you, a regular Joe with a dash of creativity and the desire to have your voice heard, make a wave within the blogosphere? While the sports blog world was once relatively up in the air, leaving people to fight for readers entirely on their own, there's now an infrastructure in place where you can go from a Blogspot blog with no readers to a decently trafficked Web site filled with sometimes thousands of your own readers.
Let's take a look at the various means to that end this week. After the jump, of course.
WELCOME TO THE BIG SHOW
More than anything, to become a known blogger with a dedicated audience you need two things: Patience and a willingness to stand out. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, you're going to need the basics.
Sports blogging is a world of niches. You have your NBA bloggers. You have your guys who cover the media side of things. You have your NFL guys. You have chicks who likes sports. Don't like to be overly classified and forced into doing a blog that solely covers white slot receivers? That doesn't necessarily preclude you from being a sports blogger or gaining an audience with the sports bloggers. Hell, I barely write about sports on my home site any more.
But you can draw from the well with interesting content, be it clever Photoshops, well-done parody, finding small news items that others missed, or figuring out a niche that others haven't. Maybe a sports-celebrity blog? The world is your oyster.
Next, you'll need a name. Maybe for your sports-celebrity blog, you can call yourself Walk of Shame. Or The Sportslut. Keep it simple.
But back to the original point: Uniqueness. Does that mean being contrarian for the sake of it? No, you're not looking to become an ESPN personality. But it means going in with the understanding that your opinion on why Roger Clemens is a douchebag won't exactly shake the very fibers of the blogosphere to its core. Understand this now: You're not a special little snowflake.
With hundreds of bloggers discussing the same issues every day, many of whom better known than you are at the start, you need to think outside the box. That may mean coming up with silly nicknames for athletes that catch on. It may mean actually, you know, doing research. But offer people something fresh that they can't get a million other places.
For example, look at a site like Lion in Oil. With a well-thought out or researched singular daily update, they've become a highly trafficked blog in their own right. Don't think that you need to cover every story right away. It's far more practical in the world of sports blogging to come up with one hidden gem rather than a hundred cliched stories.
So now that you've got your never-before-heard story that's timely and interesting, what do you do? Welcome to the seedy underworld of sports blogging: The tip email.
You know those ten or twenty sports blogs you check religiously each day? And you know how they have little emails like "tips@deadspin.com" or contact forms? Well now's your time to blast your little story out to all those folks. Collect those email addresses, put them in the "BCC" portion of your email (not CC, lest you be mocked by all of your hopefully new peers) and put together an interesting subject, quick sentence on what your post is about, link to the post, and maybe paste your post into the email to save your favorite bloggers from actually having to visit your site. Now they know what you wrote, know who you are, and, if you've done good work, may offer you a link in a link-dump post or even a news item on their site. Hoorah.
PROTIP: Many prominent sports bloggers write their linkdumps very early in the morning or very late at night. Try to get your tip emails in later in the evening. Good blogs to start with in your personal publicity campaign include The Big Lead, Awful Announcing, Deadspin, With Leather, AOL Fanhouse, SportsbyBROOKS, 100% Injury Rate, and of course, Epic Carnival.
PROTIP2: Don't bombard people with EVERY post you do. Just like you're not that special as a blogger, every individual post isn't worthy of attention. Save that for the special stuff so that it'll actually have some meaning when people see an email from you. And they won't curse your first born.
Oh but there are even more ways to publicize your site. Consider SI.com a "personal friend" of the blogosphere. By submitting your link to SI's Hot Clicks or Campus Clicks (contact forms at the bottom of the page), if used, you may be opening yourself up to thousands of new visitors who are just jonesing to see your post on how well-endowed Brandon Jacobs may or may not be.
Rounding out your promotional efforts are the Digg-like services, including the sports-focused Ballhype and Yardbarker sites. By submitting your story on those sites, readers can read your work and decide if they think it's worth also sharing with their friends. In the interest of full-disclosure from my personal experience and anecdotes from some of our peers, I don't think Ballhype is giving many people "traffic" per se (though Yardbarker seems to), but it's important from a visibility standpoint. You're a part of the "community" now. Congratulations. You'll be surprised to learn that you will receive no medals or accolades. Other than people commenting on your site and calling you a fag. So that's really its own reward.
Now, our second major theme: Patience. You really have to stick with this. Updating three times one day then not updating for a week alienates people who may have become regular readers of yours. You also need to understand it may take a couple of "special" posts before people realize you're someone worth visiting on their own. Don't get discouraged when, after a link from Deadspin, your hits go from 5000/day to 30/day. The key is using those links to build your own audience, rather than rely forever on suckling on someone else's teat.
There are many other important parts to becoming a "known" sports blogger, like advertising, audience participation, and cheap ways to get people to pay attention to your site [DON'TDOTHISPROTIP: Bloggers love reading about themselves], but you're using these powers for good, not evil.
I swear to God if I see anyone using this tutorial then running a contest about "Which blogger is the most LOL" I will end your fucking world.
OVERHYPED AND UNDERHYPED
Overhyped: Isiah Thomas thinks the Knicks will win the NBA title. Is it really a shock that he's delusional in addition to being incompetent? Isiah Thomas is, without question, the Britney Spears of the sports blogosphere...just make fun of him whenever there's nothing else to talk about.
Underhyped: USC is worthy of consideration for the National Championship of college football. I know everyone who's not an alum of the school (which I am, as many of you know) is sick of hearing of USC, hated the "greatest team of all time" hype leading up to the Rose Bowl defeat at the hands of Vince Young and Texas, and isn't convinced that USC would do to LSU what it did to Illinois. But civil unrest on behalf of a dominant USC team combined with a BCS title win for a 2-loss LSU squad is the only possible end to this Bowl Championship nonsense. You know it somewhere inside you.
WORD
Another week, another piece. I'm always appreciative of feedback over email or in the comments, so leave some there or email me at roomtonecsATblogofhilarityDOTcom with some feedback. Anything good gets published anonymously (or credited, if you prefer) next week.
See you then, sunshines.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
EPIC CARNIVAL AUTHORS OF THE YEAR
by DCScrap, Editor
When I set out asking the EC authors to vote on who they felt was the author of the year in this crazy Carnival, I truly was not intending on myself being involved in the voting. But as it turns out, the people spoke and like Harry Carson, I will accept my award. The other recipient of the award is a writer who some how, some way, manages to come up with a top 10, or 20, or more, list damn near every weekday for the entire six months this site has been in existence. His contribution to the site has made my life easier and more enjoyable as I know that when I fire up the old Tandy in the morning there will be a list waiting there for me to get the day at EC started off right. Thank you, Shooter.
And like every athlete who ever won an award and said that it was a team effort, I will echo those sentiments and say thank you to every writer who has contributed to EC this year. Without you, nothing I do here would be possible.
Thank you to them and to you, the reader. Keep on coming back as each day we are in existence is a day that we strive to be better than the day before and we don't plan to stop doing that anytime soon.
(Those also nominated for the award included: BD, BOHChris, The Chief, Davey, Don, dswinder, Jack Cobra, Jordi Scrubbings, Liston, The Prophet, Rupert, Sooze, Stan, Sterling Gould, and T.)
EPIC CARNIVAL YEAR IN REVIEW: THE HOT TOPICS OF 2007
by DCScrap, Editor
So what topics were our readers most interested in reading about in the past six months (EC started July 15, 2007)? Let's have a look shall we? This could be interesting. (Listed by the number of click on these labels this year.)
1. Hot Girls - What a shock.
2. Cheerleaders - You people have a one-track mind, don't you?
3. NFL - Okay, a two-track mind.
4. NCAA Football - More football.
5. Videos - Finally, something new.
6. MLB - Stick and ball fans, huh?
7. Lindsay Lohan - Uh, this is a sports blog, people.
8. Satire - We love this stuff too.
9. NBA - David Stern would be so disappointed.
10. Athena Barber - Well, she is definitely popular.
11. Soccer - Really?
12. Laure Manaudou - Naked swimmers get hits? Who knew?
13. Motorsports - You folks are surprising me a little.
14. NHL - This would be about right.
15. Live Blog - You like those, huh?
So what feature's label did you search for the most?
1. NFL Previews - Girls and football... you guys are so predictable.
2. Cheerleader Friday - Another shocker.
3. Photoshop Awards - Now, I'm feeling you.
4. Throwing Knives - A (pretty much) daily staple.
5. Introducing Tips - Personal growth is very important.
6. Sexiest Woman in the World - A quest that ended with no answer.
7. Coolest Jersey in Sports - See #6.
8. The Beer Tent - New, but catching on fast.
9. The Main Attraction - Quality stuff every time.
10. Who Would You Do - Love it, hate it, people had to look.
11. Why Your Team Won't Win - Always pisses people off.
12. EC NCAA Football Poll - Does our opinion matter or is it fun to laugh at?
13. Against the Spread - You degenerates...
14. Blog Wiser Hot Seat - Always interesting; never disappoints.
15. NCAA Football Weekend Preview - I assume this ties into #13 somehow.
Which author's label did you click on the most?
1. SportsGirl365 - Yeah, we miss her too.
2. BD - Posts like clockwork.
3. dswinder - Did you know he likes Natalie Gulbis?
4. DCScrap - Aww... you're making me blush.
5. Liston - He'll never believe it.
6. BOHChris - Neither will he.
7. Kristine - Nor will she.
8. Lozo - We just couldn't tame him.
9. Don - He does have that Aussie thing going for him.
10. Jack Cobra - Another semi-daily staple at EC.
11. Eric Horowitz - We were glad to have him for awhile.
12. Davey - Rock solid and always interesting.
13. DMtShooter - No idea how he does it every... damn... day.
14. The Prophet - May be the best writer of them all.
15. The Original JD - A future lawyer and a fun writer.
EPIC CARNIVAL YEAR IN REVIEW: MOST POPULAR POSTS OF 2007 BY AUTHOR
by DCScrap, Editor
In continuing our review of the year 2007 in EC, we now present the most popular posts by each author currently on the writing staff here at Epic Carnival. (Note: if an author was listed on the Most Clicked Posts list, the post on this list is the next most popular one for that author.) And like I said before, give 'em a click and check 'em out... they're still good readin'.
Andy Kissko: IU/GEORGIA TECH GAME RUNNING DIARY
BD: THROWING KNIVES: VICK STORY ALMOST OVER
BOHChris: WHO WOULD YOU DO: MISS GOSSIP VS KRISTINE
Brian P. Foley: COLTS CHEAT! BIG SHOCKER; GIVE US YOUR TAKE!
CC Rider: COMMENTARY -- SEAN TAYLOR: REDEMPTION AND TRAGEDY
The Chief: THE CHIEF'S NFL POWER RANKINGS
Chris Richardson: STUPID SPORTS SH!T: PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
Davey: RANDOM OBSERVATIONS : BILLS @ STEELERS : FIRST HALF EDITION
DCScrap: GIRLS OF THE BIG 10: WE READ IT FOR THE ARTICLES
DMtShooter: TOP TEN JUSTIFICATIONS FOR MIKE VICK'S (ALLEGED) ACTIONS
Don: THE IRB IS PEOPLED WITH MORONS...
Dr. C: SIDESHOW ALLEY: LANCE BRIGGS WILL IMPREGNATE YOU THEN LEAVE
dswinder: NATALIE GULBIS HAS NO PROBLEM WITH BEING HOT
E. Spencer Kyte: FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: UNTOUCHABLE? REALLY?
Ed Valentine: WHAT KEPT THE BLOGOSPHERE BUZZING IN 2007?
Fat Willard: BELICHICK DEMANDS ASTERISK ADDED TO SHULA'S WEIGHT LOSS TOTAL
Gary Gaffney, MD: THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF NOV. 25
Isaac: FREE MIKE VICK AND OTHER SHOWS OF SUPPORT
Jack Cobra: CHIPPER JONES IS NOT HAPPY WITH DAVID WRIGHT
Jacob: IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY: MLB AWARDS VOTING
Jordi Scrubbings: FROM GOODWATER TO GLORY: THE HEROIC RISE OF JAMARIO MOON
Kirk: EPIC CARNIVAL'S SPORTS CALENDAR
Kristine: CHEERLEADERS SUSPENDED FOR CHEERING
Liston: THE SWEETEST TOUCHDOWN CELEBRATION IN THE UNIVERSE
Love Without Nagel: BREAKING DOWN THE HEISMAN PRESENTATION
Mac G: FACEBOOK FOOLS
Matt Loede: CHEAP HEAT: ARMAGEDDON WRAPS UP A BUSY 2007 PPV SLATE
Mike: FRIED COOKIE DOUGH, SEXY COEDS AND FOOTBALL
Neate Sager: LIVE AT THE HOSERDOME (A WEEKLY NHL POST)
Noce: BEYOND THE ARC: FIVE REASONS '08 LOOKS GREAT
The Prophet: KIMBO SLICE DESTROYS OPPONENT ON SHOWTIME: A STAR IS BORN?
Ray: FIRE BILLY GILLISPIE!
Ren McCormack: 4TH ESTATE GRAFITTI: REN'S TEN
Rupert: MATCH.COM MONDAYS: LLOYD CARR
Simon: DEAR NEW YORK JETS FANS
Sooze: EVERETT UNDERGOES SURGERY, FACES PARALYSIS
Stan: THE BLOG WISER HOT SEAT: MATT MOSLEY
Sterling Gould: WHY YOUR TEAM WON'T WIN THE SEC: TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS
T: THE NFL ALL-JAIL TIME TEAM
Tbone: VCR QUARTERBACK TO CALL PLAYS FOR DOLPHINS SUNDAY
Tello Real: TOP 10 FANTASY TEAM NAMES OF ALL-TIME
Thermocaster: WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE HARRIS POLLSTER?
Tony Riazzi: GLADIATORS READY...
Vent: CHEERLEADER PHOTO INCIDENT A REMINDER OF FADED YOUTH
WCK: MORE BAD NEWS FOR WRESTLING: BRYAN ADAMS DEAD AT 43
WCT: WCT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON WRAP-UP - COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS A LOT LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON
wwtb?: MINNESOTA SPORTS: THE WASTELAND
Also of note: Stan and Rupert's WHY OHIO STATE WON'T WIN JACK S%^& THIS YEAR (oops)
EPIC CARNIVAL YEAR IN REVIEW: MOST CLICKED POSTS OF 2007
by DCScrap, Editor
2,084 posts since we opened our doors on July 15, 2007. What a year! Sure, we've had some clunker posts along the way, but we've also had quite a few that you seemed to like. Here are the top 30 most clicked posts of 2007. Click and relive the memories or get some enjoyment for the first time. Trust me, the stories are still good.
1. JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: A NEW CHEERLEADER MAGAZINE! (DCScrap)
2. LOHAN SET TO JOIN BENGALS WITH RECORD CONTRACT AFTER LATEST ARREST (BOHChris)
3. WHO IS THE HOTTEST WIFE/GIRLFRIEND IN SPORTS? THE FINALS! (DCScrap)
4. TOP 13 NBA THIEVES (DMtShooter)
5. THE MAIN ATTRACTION: THE NIGHTMARE WAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND OTHER NFL MIDWAY MOVIES (Adam Best)
6. OUR FAVORITE 10 PRE-SEASON FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER LINES (DMtShooter)
7. FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. VS. RICKY HATTON MAIN EVENT LIVE BLOG (The Prophet)
8. NEWEST CRAZE IN FANDOM: FLIGHT TRACKING (Mac G)
9. MICHAEL VICK HAS TIES TO AL-QAEDA (WCK)
10. TOP 10 IN-SHOW TIMEWASTE SUGGESTIONS FOR ESPN SPORTSCENTER (DMtShooter)
11. DWEEBS GET ALL THE LEADS (Rupert and Stan)
12. WHO IS THE HOTTEST WIFE/GIRLFRIEND IN SPORTS - TITLE DEFENSE #4 (DCScrap)
13. WHICH MLB TEAM HAS THE HOTTEST CONCESSION WORKER? (DMtShooter)
14. WHO IS THE HOTTEST WIFE/GIRLFRIEND IN SPORTS - TITLE DEFENSE #2 (DCScrap)
15. TOP 10 WORLD SERIES STORIES THAT WILL START AT INSUFFERABLE AND GET MUCH WORSE WITH REPETITION (DMtShooter)
16. MAYWEATHER/HATTON: JEFF LACY V. PETER MANFREDO, JR. (The Prophet)
17. WHO IS THE HOTTEST WIFE/GIRLFRIEND IN SPORTS - TITLE DEFENSE #1 (DCScrap)
18. THE BEST GOLF MOVIE CHARACTERS (dswinder)
19.
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