by WCT, The Ship of Fools
“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!
Today - The sports equivalent of a cock-tease
As a sports fan, I do not think I have ever looked forward to a NBA playoff game (that didn't involve my hometown team) more than I looked forward to yesterday's Atlanta-Boston game 7. By that same token, I don't think that I have ever been more dissappointed by the outcome of a game 7, in any playoff series, in any sport, ever.
For the first time, seemingly ever, the NBA had an NCAA-style Cinderella story. For a split second, we thought that maybe a 37-win team that most most casual fans couldn't name three players on, could eliminate a team that flirted with a 70-win season. It looked like a scrappy young team that was playing on all emotion, could knock off the most storied franchise in basketball and their three bona fide superstars.
And then, that happened. Atlanta, as I'm sure you know by now, was destroyed by the Celtics and eliminated from the playoffs in game 7. What the hell was that? Friday night the Hawks were riding a wave of emotion and playing like they had nothing to lose. Sunday, they looked like an overmatched, below-.500 team that didn't deserve to be in the playoffs. Friday, the Hawks were hitting clutch shots down the stretch, pushing the Celtics to the brink, and making the Celts - and legions of obnoxious Boston fans - very nervous. Sunday, they were crapping the bed and scoring 26 points in the first half (!) and 43 points through three quarters (!!) on the way to a 34-point pistol-whipping.
I realize that expecting Atlanta to beat the Celtics may have been too much to expect, but after all of the talk, and anticipation, and build-up that comes with a game 7, is it too much to ask that they be mildly competitive? A loss after all of this would have been somewhat pallatable if they at least performed well and carried themselves like a team that belonged on the same court as Boston, but the way they behaved was disgraceful. Especially Marvin Williams who, with the Celtics already ahead 51-28 in the third quarter (no, that is not a mistake, Atlanta really did have twenty-eight points 3 minutes into the third quarter) commited one of the dirtiest flagrant fouls I have ever seen, and was ejected from the game. (thanks to Awful Announcing for the video)
So after all of that, there will be no cinderella story, no 8 over 1 upset, and no Boston heartache (not yet anyway). There will also be no easy road for my Cavs through Atlanta to the Eastern Conference Finals, but that's neither here nor there. Instead, Boston moves on, just as everyone thought they would, and Atlanta goes back to their rightful place in basketball obscurity. What a tease.
Monday, May 5, 2008
CALLING YOU OUT! - THE ATLANTA HAWKS
Sunday, May 4, 2008
TOP 11 SIGNS THAT THE HAWKS WEREN'T WINNING GAME 7 IN BOSTON
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
11. They spent the entire game looking like the Rogues on Coney Island
10. Their hopes were pinned to the Game 7 experience of a guy (Mike Bibby) who didn't, um, win the game in which he made his reputation
9. Sam Cassels made the Hawks bench flinch with a bucket of confetti
8. Josh Smith's mid-game whimpering was loud enough to be picked up by courtside mics
7. Doc Rivers' toughest decision of the day was when to remove his starters (and no, he didn't choose halftime)
6. Al Horford given the Samuel Dalembert memorial mohawk, and told that his name is now Tito
5. Celtics employed the nefarious strategy of making someone other than Joe Johnson beat them
4. The best Hawk on the floor was the ghost of Dominique Wilkins
3. Kevin Garnett extinguished his victory cigar in Zazu Pachulia's eye during the third quarter Rick Mahorn Memorial Back Pick
2. Mike Woodson taken aside before the game and shown the relative media sized markets between Atlanta and Boston
1. They made the mistake of looking down at their uniforms
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
LETTER TO THE HAWKS
by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog
Dear Atlanta,
I thought we had a deal. You would be the punching bag for the Boston Celtics maybe steal a game but eventually go down real quick and fairly easily so the Celtics could go to the Conference semifinals against Lebron James. You have screwed up this plan by winning two games while looking like the more mature team.
Joe Johnson should still be with the Celtics if you we didn't trade him to Phoenix for a bunch of nobodies when Pitino was here. Do you think you can give him back to us? You guys have much younger players then the Celtics so why don't you give a few of them to the Celtics?
You guys have played inspired over the last two games behind your strong Atlanta fan base. I thought Atlanta fans were some of the worst in sports based on how they treated the Braves during their great run in the 1990's. What changed?
In closing, Why doesn't Mike Woodson and the Hawks just fall over to the Great Celtics tradition? I can't handle another disaster in Boston sports if the Celtics were to lose and might have to jump off the Zakim bridge.
Thanks
Disgruntled Boston Fan
Sunday, April 27, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS WE DID NOT KNOW BEFORE WATCHING THE NBA PLAYOFFS THIS WEEKEND
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. George Karl will return to pretend to coach the Nuggets again next year
9. The Spurs really didn't want to clinch at home
8. Atlanta Hawk fans do exist
7. The Wizards' fans are just as stupid as the Wizards' players
6. Detroit is so good, they can only beat themselves (just ask them)
5. There are week-old kittens that are less soft than Andrea Bargnani
4. When Josh Howard talks about smoking marijuana, it keeps Mark Cuban off the TV
3. Tracy McGrady will never, ever win a playoff series, because unlike (alleged) rapist Kobe Bryant, he is morally deficient
2. TBS Comedy Series are, despite all evidence to the contrary, Very Funny
1. Every team is now required to have a Designated Flopper
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
THINGS THAT ARE MORE LIKELY THAN THE HAWKS UPSETTING THE CELTICS
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
IT'S OVAH BEFOAH IT BEGAINS! Celtics-Hawks will be a massacre. Here are some things that are you're more likely to hear than "The Hawks eliminate the Boston Celtics."
20. "Hey, look Peter King has a new column titled 'Brett Favre: Overrated Or Just Plain Bad?' "
19. "This week on "FrankTV": John Madden guest stars!"
18. Coming this fall, a new season of "FrankTV"!
17. "Oh, hey, look , Obama and Hillary are making out. Huh."
16. "Did you hear Will Leitch is going to be on Outside The Lines?"
15. "You read Simmons' new column? He picked the Colts to win the SuperBowl over the Giants."
14. "You know, that Pacman Jones feller sure has turned out to be a sweet guy."
13. "No, seriously, Chinese Democracy comes out next Tuesday!"
12. "It's so weird the Grizzlies' didn't get a top three pick. They usually have such good luck in these things."
11. "Man, it's really good to see the Lakers finally catch some breaks for once."
10. "LeBron just signed a twelve year extension with Cleveland!"
9. "It's good to see a nice girl like Britney turn her life around."
8. "Man, Adriana Lima really went downhill fast."
7. "I guess we should have expected the Magic to win the championship, really."
6. "I don't know if I've ever seen Jason Giambi and Coco Crisp make out before."
5. "Ron Artest has been announced as the new spokesperson of the American Mental Wellness Association."
4. "It's pretty clear the Giants have been the best team this year by far."
3. "Who would have thought that Kobe Bryant would win the MVP? He's been so underhyped this year."
2. "I'm glad to see the Bush team being so accommodating to the new administration."
1. "Nothing says winner like 'The Atlanta Hawks'."
Monday, February 11, 2008
48 HOURS ON HARDWOOD: WEEKEND EDITION
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Here's what went on this weekend in the NBA. Yes. That basketball league. No. Not the one with the big tournament in March. Yes. The one with the guns and drugs and Lithuanian dudes.
Yello "Hello!", Melo!: So what did you do with your weekend? Put up some drywall? Fix that leaky faucet upstairs? Go see a startling off-Broadway show? Jerk off into a gymsock? Well, here's what Carmelo Anthony did. Two games, 70:59 of playing time, 76pts, 12 rebounds, 4 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocked shots, 2 wins. Kind of puts changing the oil in the car to shame, don't it? Melo was redonkulous this weekend with wins over the Wiz and the banged-up LeBronite-less LeBronites. People scoffed when Melo was selected for the All-Star game. Well, who's laughing now, bitch? Who's laughing now?
Surging Into The Break On A Win Streak Of...One.: The Knicks toppled the mighty Milwaukee Bucks on Saturday, and Jamal Crawford, after scoring 30 points on 11-23 shooting, said "It almost felt like we won the championship." I'm not sure who's that sadder for, Jamal Crawford, the Knicks, the Bucks, or Spike Lee. People are all aflutter that the Knicks are playing better. They've won 2 of their last 8.
The Big Fundamentally Not Fundamental To Victories: Paul Pierce would like to invite all of you to suck his right nut. Not both of them, just his right one. It's saltier, and he's named it "Why No One Should Have Forgotten I'm Still Kickass." He calls it "Herman" for short. After escaping "rival" Minnesota on Friday with a last second layup from Leon Powe, Pierce helped the Celtics brush the Spurs off their shoulders on Sunday with 35 points. The Celtics improved to 5-2 without Garnett in the lineup and 39-9 overall. Yowzers. The Celtics are 16-0 against the Western Conference this season. Yowzer-Bowzers and Zoinks.
YOU CAN'T STOP PAU GASOL (Unless You're The Hawks): The greatest team ever assembled was 1-1 over the weekend, with a disappointing loss to the Hawks on Friday that surely was caused by some sort of massive EMP, shorting out Pau Gasol's cybernetic functions. Thankfully, America's Team broke through on Sunday against a very tough Miami squad (no, really), who seem rejuvenated by Shawn Marion's presence. They might have made it a game,too, if Ricky Davis did not play basketball professionally. Pau Gasol, in all seriousness, is simply amazing with this Laker offense.
It's Like Waiting For Prom, If Your Date Was A 300LB, 34 Year-Old Center/Genie/Superhero/Police Officer: Shaq's in Phoenix, raring to go, but he's not going to see court time until Wednesday at the earliest. In the meantime, Phoenix almost lost to Seattle with Kevin Durant only scoring 9 points, and then let the Wizards hang around all game before eeking out a one-point win last night. The good news is that Amare Stoudemire looks like he's ready to get back to doing what he does best. Dunking, screaming, and missing free-throws.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
THROWING KNIVES: HELLO FRAUDS!
by BD, Staff Writer
(Been wondering who's for real during the first week of basketball? I've got my best guesses. I'd suggest DC and South Beach turn away.)
Hello Frauds!
I was sitting there last night watch Jason Terry hit from everywhere, but the catwalk down the stretch last night. While my boy T-Mac fired up one bad shot after another when a friend mentioned to me the Hawks victory over Dallas on Friday. A game he lost $80 on no less. And it got me thinking about what's transpired early this season. A glance at the standings can be a bit surprising to those who don't follow the league closely. Bobcats 2-0 and leading the Southeast? While Washington and Miami sit at 0-3. Projected doormat Indiana 3-0? Atlanta knocking off Dallas and falling at Detroit by just one point? Expected contender Chicago cellar dwelling at 0-3 with losses to Milwaukee and Philly? It's an amusing look to say the least. Even more amusing are the playoff standings to the right. I know, with 79-80 games remaining it means nothing, but it has me wondering in which spots the "experts" (and bloggers) were right on, as well as way off. 
Atlanta Hawks
I, of course, have to start with the inspiration for the topic. The Hawks sit at 1-1, which isn't impressive at all, but they have the aforementioned tough loss to go along with a solid 101-94 victory over Dallas. A game they held a lead as big as 16 points. Having watched the Hawks-Pistons game the other night I'm comfortable saying two things: this is not the same Hawks team and they're still not a slam dunk playoff team.
The difference in the team is simple: Al Horford. He absolutely destroys people on the glass and is more than comfortable scoring around the rim. He gets a lot of help from the plethora of swing men who draw the defense and drop the ball off to the big man. On top of Horford presence you can see the growth in some of the young players. Josh Smith and Marvin Willaims most notably. Both however, still suffer from major mental hiccups. For example, Smith is still throwing up the 3 ball a little too often. If he's open he should shoot it, but he's often covered and if 'Sheed hadn't bailed him out the Hawks loss would have been by at least four on Sunday. When he goes to the basket though Smith is an absolute terror for defense's as the defense converges every time because they know if he elevates nothing short of a tackle will stop him. Williams is just insanely active and is shooting at a nice clip (78.6%) so far because he doesn't settle for a lot of jumpers and will go to the basket. He's a little too foul prone though, but I fully expect that to improve as the season continues.
If the Hawks want to make the playoffs they'll need to start Acie Law and move Tyron Lue to the bench. Lue took repeatedly bad shots and didn't get the ball to his open teammates. If that's how he's going to play Law might as well be getting the minutes. Their shot selection also leaves a lot to be desired. The settle for jumpers and horrendous threes a lot and those aren't going to drop all year. As you already should know Joe Johnson is a superstar and he almost beat Detroit late by himself (with a little help from Smith), but he can't do it alone as we've seen in past years. I hope this team can keep it up, but it's hardly a guarantee. Luckily for them they play in what's probably the league's worst division.
Wiz and Heat
Also from the Southeast are two of the leagues more disappointing teams. Depending on who you ask anyway. The Heat flat out suck and will miss the post season. I have little doubt about that, but will the Wiz join them watching from home?
It certainly looks like it. The Wiz couldn't stop a randomly selected group of us basement dwellers and to make matters worse Gilbert isn't playing so well. Shooting just 33% from the field.
The Wiz need more than a Gilbert revival though. It's going to take more than Caron Butler playing defense. They need an inside stopper, something their unlikely to get this season. This all adds up to one thing: the Wiz miss the playoffs. I'm not saying it will happen, but if I had to put money down, it wouldn't be on them.
Indiana Pacers
I actually like the Pacers. They return pretty much the entire team they had last year and despite hoping to get out of town Jermaine O'Neal is still playing well. O'Neal though, isn't the story at all. The story is everyone else. Danny Granger is becoming the superstar many of us thought he could be, but his lack of flash is keeping him under the radar. On top of Granger you've got Mike Dunleavy playing well and Jamaal Tinsley returning to form.
It looks like the Pacers are for real, but two of their wins are not very impressive (Miami & Washington). While their 3rd win was very impressive (@ Memphis) and the Grizz are a dark horse playoff team that's looked good so far.
Back to Granger though, he has me thinking O'Neal should stay in town for the long haul and hope this kid turns into what he looks like. A back-pain free Tracy McGrady. Granger certainly has the shot, but he's also long and tough to keep from getting his shot off. He also plays defense, very well. He's by far the top perimeter defender Indiana has as draws the toughest match up night in and night out. Lucky for Indiana though, he's making those guys work at the other end as well. I'll buy Granger and Indiana and I have no doubt they can reach the playoffs. Though given the personality of the team it's hard not to expect a nosedive if things start going south like they did late last season.
Chicago Bulls
They've got a lot going on with failed contract extensions for Deng and Gordon as well as the whole Kobe situation. Toss in nagging injuries for Ben Wallace and Joakim Noah (who will debut tonight) and it's not really surprising to see Chicago struggling. But losing to Philly should immediately raise a red flag. After all the 76ers start 3 guys that couldn't make the rotation at UCLA.
The hobbled Ben and lack of Noah inside have put the defensive pressure on Tyrus Thomas on the block. Something Tyrus isn't ready for just yet. It's lead to an opponent average of 95 PPG while the Bulls offense looks like a bunch of virgins missing the hole. They're shooting just 37% from the field a trend I'd unlikely to continue.
I expect the Kobe rumors to blow over and Gordon will get over the contract issues. This team will get back to defense and start hitting some shots and remains one of the East's best teams. But, they'll be a bit up and down for the foreseeable future so I'd leave your $ away from them.
These were the five that really stuck out at me. Though it's more four than anything as Miami's struggles aren't much of a surprise. Overall it's the East with all of the surprises so far. Though you could argue that the way the Lakers have been playing is a bit of a surprise out west. Anyhow, I'd call whats happening in Miami, Washington and Indiana reality. While the Bulls woes are a complete aberration and Atlanta will be one of the more unpredictable teams in the league.
Yesterday In Sports...
Jet Continued To Look Like the Best 6th Man
Dropping 31 off the bench including a personal 10-0 run down the stretch.
Memphis Kicked Off the NCAA Season
Running Tenn-Martin out of the gym 102-71
What Monday Night Game?
Steelers slap 35 first half points up on the way to a 38-7 win at home.
Weekend Box Office Top 5
1. American Gangster - Could have seen this, but didn't have time.
2. Bee Movie - The ads annoy the shit out of me.
3. Saw 4 - Is this one even worse than three was?
4. Dan in Real Life - I'll definitely wait on this.
5. The Game Plan - Still?
(Image: Yahoo/Getty)
0 comment(s):
Post a Comment