by BD, No Where
Much is going to be made over the did-he, didn't-he, touch home plater plate last night. I'm going with karma on this one and saying it all worked out in the end. I'll explain why in a minute. Conclusion aside, that was one hell of a game last night and I watched every pitch after Heroes ended. Did Troy Tulowitzki stamp himself ROY last night? Probably not, but he may end up the best player out this year's class. How about Holliday for MVP? That's where my vote's going in a very tough call between he and Jimmy Rollins. The Patriots steam rolled another opponent to improve to 4-0. The best part about it? The Pats D shutting down Ocho and Palmer won me my fantasy game and that's what really counts. I actually watched everything last night so expect to get reviews for Heroes, Chuck, Weeds, and Californication. NBA 2K8 comes out today and next to Madden it's the biggest sports title on shelves every year. If you're looking for an NBA sim I suggest picking it up. I'm pushing the MLB playoff preview back a day as it doesn't kick off until tomorrow. The first game should be a good one though as the Rockies head to Philly. Today's picture is of the Heroes girls, Hayden, Kristen and Dania Ramirez.
Karma Slaps Back In Less Than Three Hours
In what was arguably the greatest one game playoff in the history of the MLB the Rockies knocked off the Padres last night at Coors. This morning many are pining for instant replay after Holiday failed to touch the plate, but was called safe for the game's winning run. I have decided to chalk it up to karma despite not actually believing in karma myself. You see, Garret Atkins homerun was called a double and had it gone the right way the game likely wouldn't have reached 13 innings in the first place. Thus, when the ump called Holiday safe at home it was the karmic payback we were looking for to more or less reverse that missed home run call.
As far as instant replay goes, I'll pass. I think baseball is one sport that can do without it. Missed calls are part of what makes the game great. The human element of it is ingrained within the game and without it the game is cheapened from my perspective. Sure, I've been as mad as anyone over a bad call, but I still want bad calls to happen. It brings out the greatness in the athletes as they overcome one bad call and still manage to win big games and make big plays in big spots.
Wasn't it ironic the way it all happened though? Trevor Hoffman, the leagues all-time leader in saves on the hill in the bottom of the 13th with the heart of the Rockies order coming up. Kaz Matsui, (who's been one hell of a player since leaving New York) leads off the inning with a double and then the rook knocks him home. Followed by the should be MVP's triple and Jamey Carrol of all people hitting a sac fly to win it. It reminded me so much of the all-star game it was uncanny. As soon as Holiday made contact for the triple I thought: "Holy shit, they're actually going to do it." Baseball never ceases to produce amazing moments and that's why those who think it's dying are wrong.
The Real Story Of MNF
It's not the Pats, but rather the 1-3 Bengals. Who join Chicago and San Diego at the bottom of the barrel. A true longshot to crack the playoffs. Especially when you consider their in the AFC's toughest division and still have to play Baltimore again as well as two dates with the Steelers. They may not have been a playoff team last, but they were still considered one of the leagues best. I'll vote them off the playoff island for now as that defense just isn't going to cut it.
Who Will Then?
With the Bengals and Chargers both likely missing out on the playoffs this season. Who will be picking up all of those spots on the AFC side? Obviously someone has to win the West, and I have no idea who that's going to be. But, those two wild card spots are as up for grabs as ever. With Baltimore looking about as average as possible my votes are headed in the direction of the AFC South. The Colts will win the division, but they've got a lot of competition this year and any two of those teams could crack the playoffs. If I had to guess? I'd put my money on Tennessee and Jacksonville. Only because Houston looks like they'll dig a slight hole as long as Andre Johnson, Jacoby Jones, and Ahman Green are missing games
Leyland Gets Extension
It was announced today that the Tigers skipper will be around through 2009. From what I've read Leyland will ask for a one-year extension after every seaosn if he intends to continue managing and I'd imagine he'll get said extension everytime. That is, unless something strange happens and this team falls apart.
Adios Pudge?
Leyland may be around, but it appears Pudge Rodriguez will not be. He has a $13 million option for next season and it appears the Tigers will make the right decision by declining. Pudge is still fantastic defensively, though his control of the running game isn't what it used to be. His offensive contributions, or lack there-of, have forced many obscenities from vocal cords. He had an astounding 9 walks in 129 games this season. That's a .294 OBP. To put it in perspective, his rookie backup Mike Rabello had 6 in 51 games. While still not great that puts him on pace to nearly double Pudge's total. Rabello isn't a great catcher by any stretch and he probably never will be. He was an emergency replacement when backup Vance Wilson went down for the season in spring training. But, is Pudge really almost $12 million better than Rabello? No, thus the decline is the right call. An even better call? Sign Paul Lo Duca as soon as possible. He's the perfect fit for the offense and a solid everyday catcher as well.
Comeback Players Named
NL- Dmirti Young
AL- Carlos Pena
Both deserved the award, good for them. It's funny seeing two former Tigers have career season elsewhere. I'm happy to see them doing well, but it's hard not to wish Pena was still here in Detroit. We wouldn't have such a hole at 1B.
Thomas, MSG Liable in Harassment Case
I don't know about you, but I just don't care about this case.
Weekend Box Office Top 5
1. The Game Plan - Ugh... more proof that kids movies are where the money is.
2. The Kingdom - I'll see this at some point.
3. Resident Evil: Extinction - Haven't had the time to see this just yet.
4. Good Luck Chuck - Decent, but not worth the admission. Wait for the DVD. Rating: 6/10
5. 3:10 To Yuma - Probably won't end up seeing this.
Television
Heroes was pretty slow for the second strait week, but it's to be expected as the lay out all of the pieces for the season. Hiro's little foray into ancient times has been interesting. It has me wondering if Kensi will be coming to the future with Hiro in the long run. That would completely blow up the space/time continuum though so I doubt it. Anyone else thinking the same person killing all the older Heroes is the one that Molly can't look for because he sees her? How cool was it to watch Peter put all of his powers together? Nice to see the Haitian again, can't wait to see whatever it is he and HRG are up to. And finally, it's nice to see Claire can grow her body parts back. It reminded me a lot of Virtuosity.
Rating: 7.2/10
Chuck was amusing once again. The ability of the main character to blend stupidity and problem solving together is a little insane. My biggest gripe with the show is it's highly likelt to get repitive. With Chuck nearly killing himself, solving a problem, and getting saved every week. If they can't fight off the repitition of it they may lose whatever viewers they've manage to rope in. Rating: 6.7/10
Weeds plugged along in its usual vein. Managing to do things with its characters you'd never see coming. Andy put it severed foot forward starring in his first fetish porn. Peter's wedding took place and it appears the fallout from that will be an unlikely friendship between Peter ex-wife and Nancy.
Rating: 6/10
Californication weaved a near perfect web of humor and drama this week as Hank dealt with the death of a father he wasn't very fond of. The majority of the episode was spent having those around him try to convince Hank to fly back to New York for the funeral amid numerous flashbacks of his fathers visits to California. Yet somehow along the way Hank managed to sniff a little blow off of a hooker and get his ass kicked for not paying the tab. As well as finally getting his ex into bed, though the fallout from that is unlikely to be what he's hoping for.
Rating: 8/10
Scoreboard - October 1st - 2007
MLB
Rockies 9, Padres 8 F/13
NFL
Patriots 34, Bengals 13
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
THROWING KNIVES: KARMIC CORRECTION
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
THROWING KNIVES: COWBOYS CLINCH NFC EAST
by BD, Sports Show On Mute
As I expected the 'Skins knocked off the Eagles last night. They even managed to make the 'Skins offense look decent. Something I hadn't considered possible. Leading up to the game I was mulling a 50/1 bet on No TD's in the game. In the end I decided against it but I wasn't far off. Mike Tirico and the king of scream are picking up the time Dan Patrick left behind on ESPN Radio. I'd have given the job to Van Pelt myself. My Tigers season may have unofficially ended last night. I'm now hopping on the Diamondbacks bandwagon as I'd like to see them win it all. Though I don't think they'll pull it off. I had a different photo lined up for today. But, after these came to my attention I felt it was necessary to post it. As I'm a Heroes fan and the idea of these two together is definitely a good one. (Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere)
Cowboys Clinch NFC East
Everyone seemed to think heading into the season the Eagles and Cowboys would be battling it out for the division crown throughout the season. Last night made clear what many of us thought after last week. The only battle the Eagles will be in is for a wild card spot. In the increasingly ordinary NFC it's possible. But, I fully expect those fantastic fans in Philly to watching another team miss the playoffs this year.
Meanwhile the Cowboys have torched both the Giants and Dolphins. Sure, neither team is very good and the Cowboys defense leaves a lot to be desired. But, they'll probably sweep both Philly and New York this year. And at worst split with Washington. That's seven wins alone. The recently tough East is looking a whole lot easier.
On the other side, Washington looked solid. The offense looked better than they did last week against Miami and I think it will continue to improve. Though not enough to really compete with Dallas for the division crown. Jason Campbell's getting better but I still don't think he'll develop into an elite NFL QB. Serviceable? Yes.
One final thought on Philly. Doesn't it say enough that I'm expecting the Lions as the favorite when the line comes out for that game (despite being in Philly)? Maybe even worse? I expect the Lions to win easily as their defensive front will get to McNabb all day.
Tirico Takes Patricks Slot
Well, most of it anyway. I'm not a big fan of Tirico myself as I consider him a play-by-play guy at best. Not much else. If it weren't ESPN I'd expect a large ratings dip but he should maintain the majority. Screamin' A Smith taking the third hour is interesting. So dial your radio down below "5" before turning him on. Hopefully he takes the summers off as his opinions on anything non-basketball are often wrong and ill conceived.
Leftwich To Atlanta?
This should have happened as soon as he was cut by the Jaguars. The fact that the Falcons thought Joey "Checkdown" Harrington could get the job done is ridiculous to me. It'll take a few weeks before he can start. But, if they sign him Joey will be losing his job for the third year in a row.
Joey Crawford Reinstated
Despite what happend last season Crawford is probably one of the better officials in the league. Unfortunately he'd have probably been better of retiring with the amount of abuse the zebras will take this year.
Movies
I seen Shoot 'Em Up as I mentioned I might yesterday. It's a an interesting flick and the title certainly fits. The story is a bit crazy for me but if you like action it's worth the hour and twenty minutes. Approximately 300 people die in that span of time on screen and it's very much interesting to watch. It has a Sin City feel to it though it's very much in full color. I'd recommend checking it out if your an action fan. Otherwise, it's a pass.
Rating: 7/10 (I hand out to many 7's don't I?)
Television
I finally managed to catch up to Weeds over the last few weeks. And I must say it's a fantastic show. The whole thing is insane and it could any way every time you watch it. You really never know what to expect and I like that. Anyhow, I'll be reviewing that today alongside the show that follows it Californication. Next week you may have to wait until Wednesday for these two as Heroes kicks off and these two are likely DVR bound.
I caught up to Weeds the right week as one of the Olsen twins guest starred and it appears she'll be around a while. She's playing a hippie who schools Silas on the stylings of Jesus while getting blown. While she's not very attractive she could certainly look a lot worse. The Mom who's name escapes me had a bunch of heroin stashed in her laundry room against her will. Though it shouldn't be a problem after a certain someone died/was murdered at the end of this week's episode. It's obvious why the writers made this move. So, what's next then?
Rating: 7.5/10
Californication was fantastic as usual. Hank finally managed to make a move on the ex. Though predictable it was nice to see him finally get there. The inevitable discussion of it next week should be interesting. Mia and her obsession is becoming a problem and should lead to big ones for Hank soon. Not much he can do though as the situation like most in his life are inevitable. Hank donning Bill's pink shirt may have been the highlight this week as it magnified the differences between the two even more. Hank looked like a jackass and got a laugh from the three girls over it. And am I the only one who could do without the whole Agent dominating his assistant portion of each show?
Rating: 8/10
Scoreboard - September 17th - 2007
NFL
Washington 20, Philadelphia 12
MLB
National League
Washington 12 New York 4
Atlanta 11, Florida 6
Milwaukee 6, Houston 0
Chicago 7, Cincinnati 6
Philadelphia 13, St. Louis 11
San Francisco 8, Arizona 5
San Diego 3, Pittsburgh 0
American League
Cleveland 6, Detroit 5 F/11
New York 8, Baltimore 5
Toronto 6, Boston 1
Chicago 11, Kansas City 3
Minnesota 5, Texas 4
Los Angeles 10, Tampa Bay 7
Seattle 4, Oakland 0
Thursday, September 13, 2007
LinkGasm 9-13-07
by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap
LinkGasm is your one-stop-shop for all the stuff that isn't being spit out by the Carnies here at Epic Carnival. Expect sarcasm, girls, and some sports thrown in as well. If you'd like to be considered for inclusion in future editions, please email your stories here.
Okay fellas ... now's your chance! It's being reported that Hayden Panettiere has ended her relationship with former reality TV "star," Stephen Colletti of Laguna Beach "fame." I call dibs! (The Superficial)
Have you ever wondered who the hottest gals in the WNBA are? My answer would be "no", but some enterprising gentlemen decided to do it anyway. (Half Court Heave)
New comments have surfaced about the Chargers psychological warfare on the "mentally tough" Bears. Surprisingly, none of them included, "You're quarterback plays like a girl and your running back has no heart." (Suck at Sports)
Is it ironic that Matt Wilhelm went to the media and called someone else a mental midget? What's ironic mean, by the way? (First and 10 Inches)
By now, you have probably seen the infamous Kansas State pregame video. But do you know the story behind it? The background of this video, as well as its star, Willie Wildcat, is far more diabolical than you can possibly imagine. (Digital Headbutt)
A code apparently leaked early on the RBK Edge website that allows NHL 08 owner's to unlock all of the new uniforms. The code was supposed to be released once each NHL team unveiled their new sweaters, but the code was leaked. (PopJocks)
One man's experience with the USA Eagles, who are currently trying (and failing miserably) to win the Rugby World Cup. (The Extrapolater)
Monday, August 27, 2007
So Who's Next On Our Countdown to 18 Radar?
by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap
It's a pretty slow day in sports, baseball is baseball, the NFL is still in the pre-season, and my fantasy fishing team is languishing in the cellar, so I thought we'd take a little detour here today.
As the men of the world are well aware, Hayden Panettiere is now 18-years old. The day, August 21, 2007, was marked by wild celebrations across the globe. Men were dancing in the streets, doing wild Internet searches hoping for a now legal nip slip, and basically doing all the nasty things men do when the world allows us to legally be the perverts and scumbags that we are.
Now that the celebration has died down, my mind wanders to the subject of who will be the lovely young filly to be caught in our cross hairs as the next girl for us to count the days until she reaches that wondrous, magical age.
We've had mixed results in our never-ending search for the next sex kitten. Anna Kournikova turned out pretty well despite her abject failures as a athlete. The Olsen twins turned out to be utterly horrifying, thus showing us that we have to be more than a little careful in choosing the objects of our obsessions.
So where do we begin the search? The Miss Teen USA pageant is always a good place to begin in this quest, but odds are it won't be Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton.
Our obsessions should at the very least be able to spell their own names.
After much research and deliberation, I am casting my support for the next object of our misguided affection towards Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana). Therefore, I now begin the countdown to November 23, 2010. Only three years and 87 days to go, fellas! (And yeah, I have a problem...)
So who you got?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
LinkGasm 8-21-07
by Hank Worrell, Winning the Turnover Battle
LinkGasm is your one-stop-shop for all the stuff that isn't being spit out by the Carnies here at Epic Carnival. Expect sarcasm, girls, and some sports thrown in as well. If you'd like to be considered for inclusion in future editions, please email your stories here.
- If you didn't already know, today is Hayden Panettiere's 18th birthday. Rejoice! You are no longer a pervert for thinking she is attractive! To celebrate, here is a look at perhaps the three greatest words ever; Hayden. Bikini. Retrospective. (Egotastic)
- I'm sorry Mr. Olowakandi, but the NBA is already full. Please take your millions of undeserved dollars and your skill vacuum and exit the train along with Mr. Medvedenko. (Draft Express)
- Do you like football? Do you like Arrested Development? If the answer to both of those question is yes, then you just might think that this SEC football preview is the greatest thing of all time. Or at least darn close. (The Joe Cribbs Car Wash)
- The Rangers recently called up Edinson Volquez from AAA to join their rotation. Edinson was so pumped that he overslept his next throwing session. Nighty, night Edinson. (Bugs and Cranks)
- That other carnival is back in town. Carnival of the NBA #48 is back on the attack, and features EC's very own Don Landrigan. (Taking It To The Rack)
Throwing Knives: Vick Story Almost Over
by BD, Sports Show On Mute
Quite the morning today as I'm in a bit of a hurry to get to bed for tonights Tigers game. But, also I've finally seen SuperBad, Hayden Panettiere is officially eighteen, Mike Vick has agreed to a plea deal, Maria Shapova is bad in the sack, and DeShawn Stevenson's house was a shooting gallery last night. As you'd expect, Hayden is the female of the day on her birthday. With Heroes right around the corner it's as good a day as any to put her up.
Vick's Story Is Almost Over
Finally Mike Vick plead guilty yesterday. Not sure to what exactly just yet. But, after next Monday it won't be until sentencing in late November that we'll have to hear too much more about Vick. I, for one, am pretty happy to be done with this and am ready to concentrate on the players who are actually playing. I was sleeping, so I'm not exactly sure how close Vick got to the convening of the Grand Jury before he finally gave in. I've seen everything from 12-18 to 18-36 as the recommendation that the prosecutor has given. Which way the judge goes is anyone's guess but in my opinion Vicks career is over. Taking on the PR nightmare that he would be, along with his age, make unlikely to be worth the hassle.
I had a friend argue that our Lions would be foolish to pass on a chance at Vick two years from now. Considering the complete and utter failure that has been the Lions since well before either of us were conceived. His point was that Vick could bring the Lions 11 wins and playoff berth and that PETA protesting and all the negative press would be worth it. I, of course, nearly slapped him. Arguing that Vick's only worth 11 wins on Madden when he has to throw the ball. Something that he'll certainly have to do when Mike Martz is coach in two years.
What do you think? Would you be okay with your team taking a chance on Vick in 2009? Or would, like I, think that a losing team without Vick is still a losing team with him?
Shooting At DeShawn Stevenson's House
Their was a shooting at Stevenson's house last night and while a man showed up at the Hospital with wounds to at least one, if not both legs. Their is currently no victim and thus no case to be solved. I'll have more on this as it becomes available. That is, some kind of case never comes together as no one seems to be talking.
Sharapova Not The Screamer We'd Have Thought
According to Adam Levine of Marron 5, Maria didn't make a sound and just kind of laid there. Even complaining when Levine himself happened to make noise as it "ruined her concentration." WTF Maria? I was expecting at least the same grunt you make on the court whenever I hit the "spot."
Movies
SuperBad: This is probably the best comedy (or any genre really) I've ever seen. Which says a lot considering I've seen just about all of the great ones. This manages to trump even American Pie in the high school vein. The penis drawing addiction is absolutely insane and it only gets funnier with the montage in movie and during the credits. If you still haven't seen this movie it's time to take an extra long lunch break today to make up for all of those extra TPS reports you've filled out this week.
Rating: 9.5/10 (Only because you really can't give a ten, can you?)
Television
Calrifornication: This show is officially one of the best on television already. David Duchovny's sparky, self deprecating main character is fantastic. The true king of saying the wrong thing every time he opens his mouth. Yet, somehow he manages to bed every women he comes into contact with. Including the 16 year old daughter of his ex's fiance. Though, he didn't know her age, or who she was when it happened. Now that he does she's looking to hold the "statutory rape" charge over his head for a little more action. Thing are only going to get better. So, if you haven't watched it yet I suggest you catch a couple of reruns before next Monday.
Rating: 8.5/10
Scoreboard - August 20th - 2007
NFL Preseason
Bears 27, Colts 24
MLB
National League
San Francisco 8, Florida 7
St. Louis 6, Chicago 4
Atlanta 14, Cincinnati 4 - Is it safe to say Teixera likes Atlanta yet?
Washington 7, Houston 0
Pittsburgh 4, Colorado 2 F/11
Milwaukee 9, Arizona 0
American League
Oakland 6, Toronto 4
Boston 6, Tampa Bay 0
Seattle 9, Minnesota 4
Chicago 4, Kansas City 3
Los Angeles 7, New York 7 F/10
Thursday, August 9, 2007
LinkGasm 8-9-07
by Hank Worrell, Winning the Turnover Battle
LinkGasm is your one-stop-shop for all the stuff that isn't being spit out by the Carnies here at Epic Carnival. Expect sarcasm, girls, and some sports thrown in as well. If you'd like to be considered for inclusion in future editions, please email your stories here.
- It is only 12 days until Hayden Panettiere's 18th birthday. Funny how she is the one giving us presents. (The Bastardly)
- In what may well be the best abuse of roller coaster picture machines ever...X-treme Chess. (Deuce of Davenport)
- The Cubs' Angel Pagan (great name) has been put on the DL with colitis. So...uh...what is colitis? It has to do with your colon, and then there are these big bumps you see, and then... (Out of Right Field)
- You want some really unbreakable records? Try these on for size. Any list of records that can reference both whiskey and flat-tops is a winner in my book. (The Onion)
- Rajon Rando got beat in a shooting contest by Doc Rivers' 8th grade son. I repeat, Rajon Rando got beat in a shooting contest by Doc Rivers 8th grade son. How on Earth did Danny Ainge not sign Brevin Knight last week? Oh I forgot; it is because he is a terrible GM. Nevermind. (The Fanhouse)
You'd think that being a professional baseball player would mean that you pretty much can get laid at will. Unless you're a Minor League baseball player. Then you take out sex wanted ads. (The Big Lead)
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
LinkGasm 7-31-07
by Hank Worrell, Winning the Turnover Battle
LinkGasm is your one-stop-shop for all the stuff that isn't being spit out by the Carnies here at Epic Carnival. Expect sarcasm, girls, and some sports thrown in as well. If you'd like to be considered for inclusion in future editions, please email your stories here.
- I feel as if not nearly enough attention is being paid to the fact that Hayden Panettiere's 18th birthday is exactly three weeks from today. In an attempt to erectify rectify this egregious oversight, here are some brand spankin' new Hayden bikini pics. Don't say I never did anything for you. (Egotastic)
- Do you hate TicketMaster? You aren't alone. The Cleveland Cavaliers are suing them, alleging that TicketMaster isn't letting the Cavs use a different service to sell tickets. The case seemed to be going well until Eric Snow lost three briefs out of bounds in a span of two minutes. (Lion In Oil)
- The NHL knows now that it was teribly wrong to cheat on ESPN with that skank Versus, and they want things to go back to the way they were. Kiss and make up? (Sports Business Journal)
- A crazy Mets fan flipped out and killed his mother after a Mets loss this weekend, which raises the question; which fan is worse to have, a matricidal Mets Maniac, or a death-row Raiders devotee? (Fox Sports)
- Evidently there is some other carnival passing through town this week, this one being the Carnival of the NBA #47. This one has a lot to make up for, since #46 left peanut shells all over the county fairgrounds last time. (Give Me The Rock)
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