by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
Using the same sad sample size logic used by Okalahoma Senator Tom "Last winter was cold, so all the scientists are wrong" Coburn... gosh, it's hot out. So hot, we have to think that we have ruined the planet forever, and that it's All Our Fault. (Well, actually, yours. I take public transportation and ride a bike and have bowel movements that smell like good barbecue.)
And yes, this list is dedicated to my good friend CMJDad, who is convinced that global warming isn't just a myth, it's a conspiracy foisted by people (perhaps those swine at Big Mecury In The Landfill Light Blub) who want to pry his big truck from his cold, dead hands. Enjoy, friend!
10. PGA Tour adds tour dates in Greenland, Iceland, Alaska and Mars, Bitches
9. Florida Marlins are flooded out, inconveniencing dozens of fans and players
8. Younger Packer fans think that "Frozen Tundra" is something you drink when all the beer is gone
7. NBA superstars flock to the free agent mecca that is Minnesota
6. NFL summer camps finally achieve real suspense with heat-related body counts
5. NASCAR outlawed, which helps it become the most popular sport in the country
4. People stop caring about hockey south of the US-Canadian border
3. Hot players no longer said to be "on fire"; instead, the term will be "emitting undue amounts of greenhouse gases"
2. Pat Riley's hair harvested for bio-diesel
1. All sports terminated after both booing and cheering is determined to deplete the ozone layer
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
TOP 10 SPORTS CONSEQUENCES OF GLOBAL WARMING
Thursday, March 27, 2008
TOP 10 SHAQ CRITICISMS ABOUT THE MIAMI HEAT
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Pat Riley stopped being a genius
9. Had to play with no-defense teammates like Ricky Davis and Chris Quinn, rather than no-defense teammates like Antoine Walker and Jason Williams
8. Dwayne Wade stopped getting 20 calls a game, rather than 30
7. Teammates' kids were fat
6. Heat insisted on playing overrated big men who were long past their prime... like that Alfonzo Mourning guy
5. Unlike when he trashed old organizations in Los Angeles and Orlando, this time's it is completely warranted
4. Heat pursued a dubious strategy of making him become older and slower
3. Over time, club started making him shoulder more of the load by actually showing up and playing during the regular season
2. Heat did nothing about all of these mean fantasy league types who refused to own him anymore
1. Didn't take his second career as the world's largest police officer seriously
Friday, March 21, 2008
MIAMI HEAT: HOW TO GET BAD IN A HURRY
by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks
Pat Riley is definitely in need of some Alka-Seltzer.
Dwyane Wade should be glad that he gets to sport the suits every game after getting shut down for the season so his 26-going on-46 year old body doesn't take any more beatings.
Tuesday night, Miami got absolutely pumped in Toronto, falling to the Raptors 96-54.
54 points... the whole game. Golden State can put up 54 in a quarter and a half. Same with Phoenix. And it's not like the Raptors are defensive juggernauts or anything. So what gives?
The answer, of course, is that Miami is horrible. Like "I'm pretty sure a few teams fighting it out in the tourney right now could put a beating on them" horrible. I'd take UNC and UCLA over the Heat right now, no question.
What is truly scary is that just two short years ago, this was the best team in the league. It seems like eons ago, right? It wasn't.
2006 NBA Champions - Miami Heat
Now the only thing Miami is best at is getting their ass kicked on a nightly basis. This insanely rapid decent from the summit to the shithouse makes you wonder just how this happened exactly. It's actually quite simple really...
Acquiring Shaq in 2004 was a double-edged sword. Hopefully everyone knows that all ready.
The positive was the title that came in 2006. The negative, besides trading away two younger, above average players was Shaq's monstrous contract that left Miami more hamstrung than Ken Griffey Jr.
Problem #2 was the supporting cast used to produce that 2006 Championship season:
2007 actually proved the validity of "Problem #2," as injuries, age and the deteriorating talents of guys like Walker, Williams and Payton hampered the Heat all season long. They finished 44-38 and got swept in the first round by the Chicago Bulls. The defending champs didn't even manage a single win the next time around...
Instead of re-signing Posey and Kapono, Riles lets them skate. Two useful components of the 2006 bench gone, replaced with Smush Parker and Penny Hardaway. You read that correctly - Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway.
For his follow-up act, Riles sends a bunchy of spare parts and a conditional draft pick to Minnesota for two players he had given up on years earlier, Ricky Davis and Mark Blount. Getting rid of the dead weight ('Toine, Wayne Simien, Michael Doleac) was nice, but I bet the Heat would rather have that first round pick right about now.
You should know the story from here:
The Diesel gets shipped to the desert for Shawn Marion and everyone thinks Miami has made the steal of the century, landing an all-around talent like "The Matrix" for the aging, arthritic remains of Shaquille O'Neal.
While the peripherals are nice - 11 boards, 2.5 assists, 2 steals, 1 block - shouldn't Shawn Marion be dropping more than 14 a game, especially with D-Wade out?
Of course, folks in the Miami area are optimistic about the future. A miserable season means a top draft pick, maybe even #1. But that is a big maybe. Ask the Boston Celtics.
Shawn Marion might re-sign. He might not though.
Either way, does a team of Wade, Marion and Rookie X get Miami back to the pinnacle in an improving Eastern Conference? If Rookie X turns out to be Rookie MB, maybe. Otherwise, no.
Has there been a faster fall from grace?
From World Champions to Worst Team in the League in two years.
Let this be a warning to all other General Managers - this is not the Miami Model you want to follow.
This is.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP AWARD FOR MARCH 20
Well done, Cuzoogle.
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... extra money at the ATM!
Monday, March 17, 2008
BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP AWARD FOR MARCH 17
Well done, eTrueSports.
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... a mastodon skeleton!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD 2.27.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Sorry for the missing days, couldn't be helped. But I'm back like Jamiroquai. Or something that's actually back.
Well, This Is Just Embarrassing: In a win that made Pat Riley feel, and I quote, "like a mosquito in a nudist colony," the Heat finally got off the snide and beat someone. Who was wretched enough to get beat by this sub-D-League team? The Sacramento Kings. Their leading scorer? Rookie Spencer Hawes with 16. Marion had 24 and 8 to lead the Heat who have now one 1 in a row.
Oooh, I Saw Redd: Yeah, so about that new Cleveland lineup that was supposed to be unstoppable. Ben Wallace was a hot hot hot -14 on the floor, Wally went 5 for 18 (!) and Michael Redd drained a three at the buzzer to lift the Bucks over the Cavs, 105-102. Mo Williams had 37 points for the Bucks, while LeBron led the Cavs (shocker!) with 35. He didn't get close to his near-triple-double numbers, though, and the Bucks got solid contributions from all their starters.
Good For What Ails You: You know what picks me up when I feel blue? Beating the crap out of the Memphis Grizzlies' leftover crap. Even if Rudy Gay springs for 36 and we still don't look overpowering. Who am I? If you guessed the Phoenix Suns, you win... NOTHING! Just like the Suns.
In An Amazing Twist, They're Really Good: The Lakers jerked around for a half, then remembered how bloody good they are these days and beat the Blazers by 13 behind Kobe's 30 points, 9 rebounds, and 7 assists. That Kobe, he's good. Real good. You might even say valuable. Heck, you could even say that he's the most valuable...too early.
Elsewhere: Jazz feel bad for Houston, and lose to the Wolves to give them false sense of hope. Rockets say, no Yao, no giant 7 footer that can lead us to a championship, but we can still kick the crap out of the Wizards without Zero or Caron.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
24 HOURS OF HARDWOOD 2.13.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
A look at the last 24 Hours in the NBA...
If Only The Heat Could Play Horseshoes (Or Hand Grenades): Pushed them to overtime. Got 23 and 18 from Marion. Pulled within 1. ... Couldn't seal the deal. Dwayne Wade missed a shot at the buzzer to allow the Nuggets to escape with a 114-113 win over the Heat. Wade had 29 and 10 in the loss, while JR Smith, thuggish-ruggish that he is, made eight 3-pointers to score 29 points in the win. The Heat seem to be playing better, with more fire, having more fun... and still losing. That makes 23 losses out of their last 24.
The Desolate Road Called Hope: The Nets managed to win a game. Yes, I know, it was only against the Timberwolves, but still. It's a win! With the 92-88 win over the Wolves, New Jersey managed to push itself all the way up the 7th spot in the East. Because that's how bad the East is. Vince Carter had 17 points (!), 6 rebounds (!), and 10 assists (!) in the win, and is, of course, still a douchebag.
If The Pistons Beat The Hawks In February, Does It Make A Sound?: The Hawks should stop trying to win a championship and just hire themselves out as practice fodder. They're not terrible enough to get blown out, but juuuust weak enough to let Chauncey Billups score 12 points in the fourth and let Detroit escape with a 94-90 win. They could wear masks, call themselves ninjas, the whole thing. It would be a lot more rewarding than what they're doing now. The loss pushed the Hawks to the precipice, now in the 8 spot in the Eastern Conference playoff picture, affectionately called "Mrs. Irrlevant."
Hakim The Dream Slightly Appealing Scenario: Memphis won a game. A basketball game. No, not the good one. The Grizzlies. Yeah. That one. How? Hakim Warrick. You remember him? 24 and 13. The Kings shot 37%. Yeah. The Grizz? 50%. No shit. Martin? 33 points, per usual. Oh, Kwame? One little rebound shy of a Trillion. Work harder at sucking, Kwame, work harder at sucking.
Elsewhere: You'd never believe it, but the Celtics beat the Pacers. And the Hornets beat the Bulls. The Hornets-Bulls game was pretty close until David West caught a no-look behind the back pass from Paul on a fast break. Things got away from the Bulls at that point. Gutted, I believe is the term.
Friday, February 8, 2008
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD: 2.7.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
You Don't Mean Duhon, Do You Hon?: What in the holy hell got into Chris Duhon? With Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, and Kirk Hinrich all out with injuries, apparently Duhon thought tonight was an okay night to jack it. And jack it he did. All over the Golden State crappy defense. Duhon hit 11 of 16 for 69%, with a career-high 34 points to go with 9 assists and 3 steals. Then Tyrus Thomas got the message in the second half, and he exploded for 15 points, 5 rebounds, and 2 blocks to help Duhon lead the Bulls to a 114-108 win over the Dubs at the Oracle. Later, Baron Davis was quoted as saying "Who in the holy hell was that?" By the way, Webber had 4 points in 12 minutes for the Dubs, so he's clearly ready to light it up.
Cleveland Discovers Chinese Word For "Pwnage": Guess what, LeBron? 32 points and 7 rebounds? NOT. GOOD. ENOUGH. What you really need is to be 7 feet tall. The One-Man Dynasty had 22 points and 12 rebounds to lead the Rockets to a 92-77 win over the Gooden-less LeBronites. Rafer Alston, in a continuing theme of weak point guards having superhuman nights, had 17 points and nine assists in the win. The Cavs grabbed seven offensive rebounds, and when you miss as many shots as the Cavs do, that's not so good.
That Deep Rut? It's Called Failure: Pat Riley commented after last night's 101-84 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers that the Heat are in "a deep emotional rut." Yeah, losing 21 of your last 22 will definitely put a bit of a damper on things. Much in the same way getting hit by a dump truck, finding out you have herpes, or discovering your partner is the opposite sex will put you in a similar rut. Wade had 19, 5 below his average, on 5 of 17 shooting. Shawn Marion did not suit up for the Heat as he was on the injured list with "vomiting from the nose, mouth, and eyes after watching this team in shootaround." Meanwhile, Philadelphia is a half game back of New Jersey for the 8th seed in the west, proving the theory that a truckload of paraplegic clowns, loaded on heroin and pumping Cannibal Corpse albums directly into their ears could win the 8th seed in the East with a little effort.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
SUNS TO RUN ON DIESEL POWER
by Don, With Malice...
Shaquille O'Neal to the Suns for Shawn Marion/Marcus Banks...
Absolutely goddamn insane.
And it became official as Shaq just cleared his medical exam. Phoenix Suns, welcome your new center.
What the hell is Steve Kerr thinking? This move is far more akin to something a fantasy league manager would attempt - and even if the owner of Marion/Banks didn't laugh and reject the deal, it would be vetoed by the league commish.
It's amazing how in one week, one GM thought to be a chump looks like a champ (Kupchak), and one thought to be a champ looks like a chump.
Whatever the reasonings behind this deal... or rather 'theft', Pat Riley must be beside himself in rapturous joy. Someone's willing to take on Shaq with two years left on his contract at $40 mil a piece??? Hell, Riley probably would've taken Eric Dampier, a cut lunch and some Village People vinyl for O'Neal at this point in time.
Guy's done. Finito. O'Neal logged out 2 years ago post winning the title at South Beach.
Yes, he was a great player. And as a Laker fan, I thank him for the best years in his career. But you don't rest on your laurels, and given what the Lakers ended up getting for O'Neal in the long term, Kupchak actually did quite well out of that trade.
And I read many, many commenters/writers/bloggers declaring that this is being done to improve the Phoenix defense - which currently leaks like a sieve, and has no rebounding whatsoever. Shaq won't be expected to run, this will allow Amare to run at power forward, Shaq's only going to be there to get rebounds, Shaq is there for defense, Shaq'll play with a chip on his shoulder, Shaq's back...
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...
Have you been watching? Shaq doesn't do defense these days - and he's been complaining about touches at Miami - you think he's going to settle for being - at best - the 4th scoring option on the Suns? And whilst he's a big body that can maybe defend Timmy & Yao, do you really think he's a defensive upgrade from Shawn Marion? Rebounding? Don't make me laugh, he hasn't averaged 10 rebounds a game for years, and this season/last season he's averaging less than 8 a game.
It's also been said that Phoenix acted so precipitously because they'd heard that Dallas was looking to add O'Neal... so? Do what the rest of the league is doing now (over the Suns) - let the Mavs take him, sit back and laugh.
Additionally this is thought to be a reaction to the Lakers acquisition of Gasol. Does anyone truly believe that Shaq can guard Pau Gasol? A guy who has range, is fleet of foot, and is a finesse player? Historically that type of player has always provided O'Neal with the most trouble. Shaq's going to struggle with Andrew Bynum, let alone Pau Gasol.
Word is Nash is worried, Amare is ecstatic, Mike D'Antoni perplexed... it's definitely a slap in D'Antoni's face. He's long said that he believes the Suns' high-octane offense can work in winning a title. Kerr's acquisition of Shaq definitely slows them down.
To be fair, reports are of the tension between Marion and Amare Stoudemire being at an all-time high. But there's no doubt that Phoenix could've done better than an aging, broken down, out-of-shape, over-weight, over-the-hill center.
Bulls fans must be conflicted over this - it removes yet another destination for Ben Wallace, but at the same time makes their acquisition of Wallace not look so bad. Suns fans are simply angry.
This amounts to a knee-jerk reaction by a guy (Kerr) who should know better. Bodes well for the rest of the West.
BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP AWARD FOR FEBRUARY 6
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
51.9 SECONDS IS A LONG TIME!
by Isaac, The World of Isaac
By now, you've heard the story. The Miami Heat and Atlanta Hawks are replaying the final 51.9 seconds of a game played last month. Nevermind the absolute absurdity of replaying a game because some official scorer had a brain fart but for God sakes, this game means nothing in the grand scheme of things. You see, the Heat suck. Two years removed from a NBA championship and this team has the second worst record in the NBA. They are on a current 10 game slide and their longest winning streak of the season is two games.
Seeing as how this means next to nothing except maybe boosting another Eastern Conference team to a mediocre .500 record, I wondered, what else could the Miami Heat players and staff could do in 51.9 seconds of gametime?
-The training staff could do test runs for stretchers and wheelchairs just in case Dwayne Wade dislocates a finger.
-Shaq could successfully make two trips to the buffet in the lockerroom and then claim he pulled his hammy on the way so he can sit out the rest of the season
-The Heat could save money and permanently bench JWill and sign his streetball counterpart "The Professor". At least this guy can shoot.
-Ricky Davis can try to pad his stats by playing against the mascot and thus, giving himself an illegal triple double.
-Pat Riley could steal someone else's job and take all the credit for it.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
THE RUNDOWN: I DON'T LIKE SHAQ VERY MUCH
by Davey, Blown Coverage
The Rundown is a weekly "gambling" column based on and inspired by the time I spent working at sports books.
As I was reading Simmons' annual "NBA Trade Value" column today, two things made me pretty giddy. First, he ranked Dwight Howard no. 2 in trade value right now. In other words, as of right now, the only other guy with more trade value (considering age, ceiling, cap hit etc. etc.) would be LeBron James.
So, my Magic made a right choice by picking Howard over Emeka Okafur a few seasons ago and the leap that Howard is making right now to that elite level is pretty amazing to see. But the other thing that brought a smile to my face was the fact that the original Orlando Magic big man, Shaq, was totally left off the list.
Two seasons ago, Simmons still considered Shaq to be a top-15 guy in terms of trade value. Now, he's not even top-50. That's quite a drop if you think about it and frankly, I don't mind that at all.
If I were to make a list of players or coaches that have brought me the most pain during my years of following sports, Shaq would have that number one position locked up pretty securely. Up until a few years ago, I would have to have put Michael Jordan first, but recent events have catapulted Shaq over MJ.
And if you're wondering who would be on that list, it's pretty extensive but I'm going to just put the guys that really stick out.
- Kirby Puckett and Jack Morris (Kept the Braves from winning the World Series in '91)
- Jim Leyritz (F*ck this guy. His homerun in game 3 turned the series around and kept the Braves from repeating as champs)
- Chris Burke (Walk-off homerun in the 18th inning! eliminated Atlanta in the '05 play-offs)
- The entire Jacksonville Jaguars team from '99 (Beat Miami 62-7 in the play-offs in what would be Dan Marino's last game)
- Ricky Williams (Abandoned Miami in '04. Went from league's leading rusher to league's biggest joke. The team still hasn't recovered)
- Nick Saban (Offered Dolphin fans hope with arrival in '05. Picked Culpepper over Brees heading into the '06. Disappeared into the night afterwards and opened the floodgates for this horrible season)
- Dave Wannstedt (Ricky got the shit started, Saban completely opened the floodgates but it was Wannstedt who laid the current foundation of this team)
- KirbyFreeman/KyleWright (The two clowns attempting to play quarterback for the Miami Hurricanes the past couple of seasons. They made Brock Berlin look like Carson Palmer)
- Hakeem Olajuwon (Led Houston team that swept Orlando in the '94 season Nba Finals)
- Michael Jordan (His Bulls swept the Magic in the '95 Eastern Conference Finals and things have never been the same, but I'll have to explain a bit more)
So yes, I started following the Magic around the '93 season. By the time '94 came around, Orlando had two of the league's brightest young stars in Shaq and Penny Hardaway and combined with the likes of Dennis Scott, Nick Anderson and Horace Grant, they became one of the funnest teams to watch.
That team was "the boss" like Liston would say. That intro was the boss. The green mascot was the boss. The fact that they made it to the Finals was also very bossy.
In the Finals however they got outplayed by a much more experienced Houston Rockets team led by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler. Houston swept Orlando but there was no reason to believe that this team wouldn't be back regularly in the Finals. Heck, they even beat Jordan on the way to making the Finals..
But Jordan regained his swagger the next season and the '95-'96 Bulls were playing on levels we hadn't seen before. They dominated their way to a 72-win regular season and swept Orlando in the Conference Finals and went on to beat the Supersonics for the title as Jordan got his 4th ring.
In the off-season, Shaq choose the money and bolted to L.A. I can't say that I blame him but I'd like to call this "the Curse of Shaq" because Orlando has never been the same.
Penny was left to carry the team alone but he got frustrated and asked for a trade a few seasons later. Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill were supposed to be the next big duo but it never materialized as Hill suffered season ending injury after season ending injury. McGrady got bitter and demanded a trade and the ensuing Steve Francis experiment also failed.
And even now as we have the next big star in Dwight Howard, I'm still not going to be happy until this team makes out of the first round of the play-offs.
Now, you can argue that Jordan would have kept Orlando from winning any titles in those next 3 years, it would have still been fun to watch that battle. Orlando would have been right there with Chicago along with the Pacers, Heat and Knicks. Jordan would have probably still come out on top, but we couldn't even see Orlando compete anymore after Shaq left.
Shaq went to L.A. and got a new sidekick in Kobe and in '99, they found themselves in the Western Conference Finals against the Trailblazers. The series went to game 7 and since I had a feeling that Portland would pull it out, I put a big amount of money on the Blazers to win.
Now here's where things get really painful. The Blazers put in an epic choke performance during the 4th quarter and the Lakers pulled off the biggest game 7 comeback of all-time. I lost my money, Shaq was back in the Finals and he would go on to win 3 titles in a row. You can imagine how that made me feel....
But don't worry, the big guy decided to add a bit more salt to my already gaping wound. After his relationship with Kobe soured, Shaq left L.A. and came back to Florida. But no, he wasn't returning to Orlando. Nope, he was joining the cross-town rival Heat to team with the next budding young star, Dwayne Wade.
And yes, you know how this story ends up. Shaq and Wade led the Heat to the Finals in the '05-'06 season against the Dallas Mavericks. I decided to put cash on the Mavericks to win the series because I just couldn't imagine that Shaq could possibly bring me anymore pain than he already had.
Dallas took a 2-0 series lead but Miami came back to win the next 4 and Shaq had his 4th ring. He finally won one in Florida, but not with Orlando. I mean, how brutal is that??
Imagine the joy that Bengals fans must have felt when they drafted Carson Palmer. Now imagine Carson leaving the Bengals after their play-off season to join the 49ers. He leads San Fran to a few titles while the Bengals flounder and then returns to Ohio, only not to Cincy but to Cleveland as he leads the Browns to a championship. That's basically the equivalent of what I had to deal with.
So yeah, excuse me if I'm enjoying his rapid decline just a tad too much. He hasn't given me many reasons to smile over the past 10 years or so.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
THROWING KNIVES: HELLO FRAUDS!
by BD, Staff Writer
(Been wondering who's for real during the first week of basketball? I've got my best guesses. I'd suggest DC and South Beach turn away.)
Hello Frauds!
I was sitting there last night watch Jason Terry hit from everywhere, but the catwalk down the stretch last night. While my boy T-Mac fired up one bad shot after another when a friend mentioned to me the Hawks victory over Dallas on Friday. A game he lost $80 on no less. And it got me thinking about what's transpired early this season. A glance at the standings can be a bit surprising to those who don't follow the league closely. Bobcats 2-0 and leading the Southeast? While Washington and Miami sit at 0-3. Projected doormat Indiana 3-0? Atlanta knocking off Dallas and falling at Detroit by just one point? Expected contender Chicago cellar dwelling at 0-3 with losses to Milwaukee and Philly? It's an amusing look to say the least. Even more amusing are the playoff standings to the right. I know, with 79-80 games remaining it means nothing, but it has me wondering in which spots the "experts" (and bloggers) were right on, as well as way off. 
Atlanta Hawks
I, of course, have to start with the inspiration for the topic. The Hawks sit at 1-1, which isn't impressive at all, but they have the aforementioned tough loss to go along with a solid 101-94 victory over Dallas. A game they held a lead as big as 16 points. Having watched the Hawks-Pistons game the other night I'm comfortable saying two things: this is not the same Hawks team and they're still not a slam dunk playoff team.
The difference in the team is simple: Al Horford. He absolutely destroys people on the glass and is more than comfortable scoring around the rim. He gets a lot of help from the plethora of swing men who draw the defense and drop the ball off to the big man. On top of Horford presence you can see the growth in some of the young players. Josh Smith and Marvin Willaims most notably. Both however, still suffer from major mental hiccups. For example, Smith is still throwing up the 3 ball a little too often. If he's open he should shoot it, but he's often covered and if 'Sheed hadn't bailed him out the Hawks loss would have been by at least four on Sunday. When he goes to the basket though Smith is an absolute terror for defense's as the defense converges every time because they know if he elevates nothing short of a tackle will stop him. Williams is just insanely active and is shooting at a nice clip (78.6%) so far because he doesn't settle for a lot of jumpers and will go to the basket. He's a little too foul prone though, but I fully expect that to improve as the season continues.
If the Hawks want to make the playoffs they'll need to start Acie Law and move Tyron Lue to the bench. Lue took repeatedly bad shots and didn't get the ball to his open teammates. If that's how he's going to play Law might as well be getting the minutes. Their shot selection also leaves a lot to be desired. The settle for jumpers and horrendous threes a lot and those aren't going to drop all year. As you already should know Joe Johnson is a superstar and he almost beat Detroit late by himself (with a little help from Smith), but he can't do it alone as we've seen in past years. I hope this team can keep it up, but it's hardly a guarantee. Luckily for them they play in what's probably the league's worst division.
Wiz and Heat
Also from the Southeast are two of the leagues more disappointing teams. Depending on who you ask anyway. The Heat flat out suck and will miss the post season. I have little doubt about that, but will the Wiz join them watching from home?
It certainly looks like it. The Wiz couldn't stop a randomly selected group of us basement dwellers and to make matters worse Gilbert isn't playing so well. Shooting just 33% from the field.
The Wiz need more than a Gilbert revival though. It's going to take more than Caron Butler playing defense. They need an inside stopper, something their unlikely to get this season. This all adds up to one thing: the Wiz miss the playoffs. I'm not saying it will happen, but if I had to put money down, it wouldn't be on them.
Indiana Pacers
I actually like the Pacers. They return pretty much the entire team they had last year and despite hoping to get out of town Jermaine O'Neal is still playing well. O'Neal though, isn't the story at all. The story is everyone else. Danny Granger is becoming the superstar many of us thought he could be, but his lack of flash is keeping him under the radar. On top of Granger you've got Mike Dunleavy playing well and Jamaal Tinsley returning to form.
It looks like the Pacers are for real, but two of their wins are not very impressive (Miami & Washington). While their 3rd win was very impressive (@ Memphis) and the Grizz are a dark horse playoff team that's looked good so far.
Back to Granger though, he has me thinking O'Neal should stay in town for the long haul and hope this kid turns into what he looks like. A back-pain free Tracy McGrady. Granger certainly has the shot, but he's also long and tough to keep from getting his shot off. He also plays defense, very well. He's by far the top perimeter defender Indiana has as draws the toughest match up night in and night out. Lucky for Indiana though, he's making those guys work at the other end as well. I'll buy Granger and Indiana and I have no doubt they can reach the playoffs. Though given the personality of the team it's hard not to expect a nosedive if things start going south like they did late last season.
Chicago Bulls
They've got a lot going on with failed contract extensions for Deng and Gordon as well as the whole Kobe situation. Toss in nagging injuries for Ben Wallace and Joakim Noah (who will debut tonight) and it's not really surprising to see Chicago struggling. But losing to Philly should immediately raise a red flag. After all the 76ers start 3 guys that couldn't make the rotation at UCLA.
The hobbled Ben and lack of Noah inside have put the defensive pressure on Tyrus Thomas on the block. Something Tyrus isn't ready for just yet. It's lead to an opponent average of 95 PPG while the Bulls offense looks like a bunch of virgins missing the hole. They're shooting just 37% from the field a trend I'd unlikely to continue.
I expect the Kobe rumors to blow over and Gordon will get over the contract issues. This team will get back to defense and start hitting some shots and remains one of the East's best teams. But, they'll be a bit up and down for the foreseeable future so I'd leave your $ away from them.
These were the five that really stuck out at me. Though it's more four than anything as Miami's struggles aren't much of a surprise. Overall it's the East with all of the surprises so far. Though you could argue that the way the Lakers have been playing is a bit of a surprise out west. Anyhow, I'd call whats happening in Miami, Washington and Indiana reality. While the Bulls woes are a complete aberration and Atlanta will be one of the more unpredictable teams in the league.
Yesterday In Sports...
Jet Continued To Look Like the Best 6th Man
Dropping 31 off the bench including a personal 10-0 run down the stretch.
Memphis Kicked Off the NCAA Season
Running Tenn-Martin out of the gym 102-71
What Monday Night Game?
Steelers slap 35 first half points up on the way to a 38-7 win at home.
Weekend Box Office Top 5
1. American Gangster - Could have seen this, but didn't have time.
2. Bee Movie - The ads annoy the shit out of me.
3. Saw 4 - Is this one even worse than three was?
4. Dan in Real Life - I'll definitely wait on this.
5. The Game Plan - Still?
(Image: Yahoo/Getty)
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