by Isaac, The World of Isaac
If you really want to know in detail what Jenn is going to do for the Jets organization, pay close attention to this video.
If you really just want to stare at her knockers and ogle, feel free to do that as well
Obligatory pics of Sterger in Jets Gear...
Showing posts with label Jets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jets. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
WHAT EXACTLY DOES JENN STERGER DO FOR THE JETS?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
TOP 10 CURSED PRO FOOTBALL POSITIONS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
Ever notice how your favorite pro football team seems to have the same weakness, year after maddening year? (This is where you nod your head vigorously. Good theoretical audience.) Well, here's a list of the Heels of Achilles. Enjoy, or wince, or both.
10. Chicago Bears Quarterback. When your best is a guy that played during the freaking Depression (Sid Luckman), and you have glorious memories of a limited game manager (Jim McMahon)... um, the franchise history really, really sucks. Don't hate on Orton and Sexy Rexy; they are just keeping up tradition.
9. Philadelphia Eagles Linebacker. For most Eagles fans, the last one we liked was Seth Joyner. (OK, William Thomas had his moments, but not like the Linebacker From A Town Called Hate.) Seth stopped playing ball for the home team, um, fifteen years ago. Thomas's last year in Eagle green was in the last millennium. We will now stop to remember the Dhani Jones Era, and kick a wall. Hard.
8. Detroit Lions Quarterback. Here's the funniest and best thing you will ever need to know about the Lions... remember Scott Mitchell? Breathtakingly awful big lefty QB who signed a big contract as Dan Marino's understudy, and stunk to nearly Bobby Hoying-esque levels? Well, he's in something called the Lions Legends, who, according to the Lions, "created special moments and added to the lore of football in the Motor City." Would those special moments include losing the job to the immortal Dave Krieg and Charlie Batch, or the 65 career INTs in 57 starts? Only in Detroit does one decent year make you a Legend.
Oh, and the rest of the Lions QBs since Bobby Layne have also stunk on ice. When your best is Rodney Peete and Jon Kitna, you are not exactly covering yourself in glory.
7. Rams Defensive Back. Going back to the start of the franchise, the Rams have been in operation in the NFL since 1936. They've had Hall of Famers all over the place, a defensive line for the ages in the early 1970s, and a pinball offense in the early part of this century. But what they've never had is a defensive back that's been a real keeper, unless Adam Archuleta is your idea of quality. Take heart, Rams Fan -- it's tradition to follow the opposing WR into the end zone.
Oh, they did have Dick "Night Train" Lane, a legendary hitter and Hall of Famer, at the start of his career, when he set a rookie record with 14 picks. They traded him to the Lions. I'm telling you, bad DB decisions is in the DNA for this laundry.
6. Saints Tight End. Let's just say that Jeremy Shockey is going to enjoy the competition, when walking wounded Eric Johnson and vagabond Billy Miller count as some of the more notable in the position's history. The best in franchise history is probably Mike Ditka, which doesn't much count, seeing as he only coached them. After that, you've got something called Henry Childs and the very best Hoby (Brenner) ever to play in the NFL. They should just put Shockey in the Saints Hall of Fame in his first game and make him feel more at home.
5. Eagles Coach. One of the great secrets of the Philly market is that the great majority of us are happy with Andy Reid, and the simple reason is that they rank very highly in our history. When your history includes Rich Kotite, Mike McCormick, Marion Campbell, Joe Kuharich and a confederacy of dunces that stagger the imagination, suddenly a guy with a .611 winning percentage looks damned good -- even if his kids are wanted in three states. Seriously, in 75 years, it's Greasey Neale, Dick Vermeil and Cap'n Andy. Not exactly a torrent of glory.
4. Cardinals Owner. How much has The Bidwell Family (yes, it's been handed down from father to son) screwed this franchise? Enough so that the gods of football karma have seen fit to stone them through three cities, innumerable quarterbacks, coaches and general managers, and a solid decade of The Cardinals Could Surprise This Year preview stories that never come to fruition. When your franchise's crowning moment of glory is a first round playoff win that starred Jake Plummer, it goes behind a particular position or draft approach. This fish rots from the head down, and in Bidwell's 45 (!) years as the owner, they have had four (yes, four) playoff appearances in that time. This is the oldest professional football team in North America, and they have not appeared in so much as a conference championship game since World War Two. Swish that around your mouth for a while and see how that tastes; it tastes like the reason why Cardinals Fan is among the rarest fan in the NFL.
3. Bengals Management. Mike Brown's legacy is nearly Bidwell-esque in its incompetence, but with the added flavor of constant arrests adding to the futility. For a team that's supposed to be led by a defensive mastermind in Marvin Lewis, and by Family Values types in top management, there's something mighty fishy going on in Porkopolis... and on some level, it's nice to know they can lose with reprobates as easily as they lost with clean cut citizens.
2. Buffalo Kicker. Is this an unfair ranking for one wide kick? No. If Scott Norwood's kick is true, Buffalo would have won its first trip to the Super Bowl, and would have made future embarrassments in the big game much less likely. They would have also spared the nation the next fifteen years of abject Bill Parcells worship, as he would have been a Billickian one-time winner, rather than a multiple unquestioned genius. Such is the power of the curse of Buffalo Kicker that the team has not won since, and that the best player in their history became a multiple murderer. Allegedly. (Ignore the fact that they didn't win before, please.)
1. Jets QB. Oh, am I going there, you Namath worshipers? Hell and yes. When your absolute best is Chad Pennington and Boomer Esiason, and your absolute worst is among the worst things that have ever sullied an NFL field... and oh, by the way, Namath may be the most overrated quarterback in NFL history when you look at the numbers... well, let's just say that Brett Favre's future flameout will be right in tune with the rest of your sorry legacy. Good night, and good luck.
MORE FOOTBALL STORIES YOU'LL ENJOY:
LT trains with Kimbo
Why the Cardinals chose Warner over Leinart
ESPN Is Sticking With Kurt Warner
Ranking The 32 Starting NFL Quarterbacks
Ricky Manning may be on the Browns free agent radar
Lou Holtz is The Homer
SEC, bitches!
Friday, August 8, 2008
WHAT ABOUT A.J. SCHABLE?
by Scott Sargent, Waiting For Next Year
Hey, if you hadn't heard, Brett Favre now plays for the New York Jets. But unless you were watching the Browns/Jets game late last night - thanks to an hour and a half rain delay - you likely missed out on the brutal injury suffered by Jets backup tight end A.J. Schable.
Schable was fielding a special teams play before running head first into a tackle attempt and apparently injuring his neck and/or spinal cord. The tight end laid motionless for several minutes, surrounded by an entire field of teammates and opponents on one knee, before being carried off of the field on a stretcher. The entire situation was very reminiscent of what happened to Bills tight end Kevin Everett just a year ago.
But my question is, shouldn't this item garner at least one of the top stories on New York Daily News? Five stories on Favre, not one on Schable. I say this not only because I would like to see an update on his status, but also because I think it is in somewhat terrible taste to sweep this under the proverbial rug.
Sure, Schable was a third-stringer and he was playing in front of about 2,000 people at that point in the game. But isn't this at least worth a mention?
UPDATE: He is out of the hospital.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
FAVRE FIASCO IS LIKE THE ENERGIZER BUNNY
by Moondog, The World According to Moondog
Now that the New York Jets have acquired quarterback Brett Favre, one might think the month-long circus surrounding his pending return will come to an end.
I hate to acknowledge the facts, but with Favre playing in the world's largest media market, the coverage will only increase, at least for the next few months, until the end of November when the Jets are 4-8 and out of the playoff picture.
That is exactly what has perplexed me about this whole process. Favre had to realize the Packers weren't going to allow him to remain with the team. They certainly weren't going to trade him to a team within their own division, much less another team in the NFC.
Common sense should have dictated Favre's only option was to land with a team that needed a quarterback, and a team that needs a QB usually needs a lot of other players too.
Favre's desire to play and build upon an already secure legacy will now look more like a sad ending to a bad soap opera. Landing with the Jets may initially be newsworthy, but with teams like the Patriots, Colts, Steelers and Chargers all legitimately having a chance to be in the Super Bowl, his presence on the Jets roster will largely be irrelevant.
In other words, Favre's return will, for the most part, be without glory. That being the case, it makes you wonder why he would bother making a return to play for a team that's going nowhere.
In some respects it's sad to see it end this way. I don't dislike Favre, I just consider his actions of the past month have made him look like a buffoon. For a future Hall of Fame player to look clueless and desperate may actually serve a long-term purpose. Perhaps in the future we won't see mini-dramas like this happen again because of how bad Favre has been made to appear.
For the next few months we'll be inundated with his every move, but in the end, he'll fade from the American consciousness and will be long forgotten when the NFL playoffs begin.
At least I'm hopeful as much because I'm tired of listening to it.
DOES THIS LOOK ODD TO ANYONE?
by DCScrap, on 205th magazine
Is it just me or does this look strange? I mean, is it pronounced Farv or Fah-ver?
Sorry, Sooze.
UPDATE: At least Packers fans are standing solidly behind Aaron Rodgers. Or not.
H/T: Machochip
Monday, June 30, 2008
MANUFACTURED JOY - NEW YORK JETS
by Zac, Throwing Into Traffic
Manufactured Joy is a series in which we'll be going through the NFL team by team, from the bottom to the top, and giving fans five good reasons why they should be excited to watch their team in action this season. Today, the New York Jets.
1. Gh-Gh-Gh-GHOLSTON!
Crappy old cartoon references aside, DE Vernon Gholston, who will likely be converted to an OLB in the Jets 3-4 scheme, is the most high risk/high reward player of the draft. At various points, scouts had him being considered with the number one overall pick. As it turns out, he went as low as he could have gone (given who was on the board), and the Jets may have gotten the draft’s best player at the sixth pick. Then again, they could have also gotten its biggest bust. Gholston’s physical gifts are well known; pound for pound, there was not a single athlete in this draft more naturally gifted. Equally obvious is his potential for taking games over, as when he wanted to, he was unstoppable (the game against Michigan was a thing of beauty). The trouble is that both his natural gifts and his drive to overpower opponents seemed to disappear inexplicably at times. The optimistic outlook is that it’s hard to stay motivated to compete when you can beat the competition without trying that hard, and that a move to the pros with the right coaching will only allow Gholston to find new ways to use his physical gifts. The pessimistic side of that coin is that if he wasn’t that motivated to consistently perform in order to get to the league, why should we assume he’ll suddenly turn it on now that money has started falling from the sky. Still, he’s entering the right system, with a coach who once showed an amazing ability to get the most out of his personnel (Mangini’s first year was remarkable for what he did with that defense). Whether he can get it together or not, he chance that he might makes him worth watching this season.
2. The Jets didn’t get McFadden!
And yes, I do mean that as a positive. I really like McFadden, but this defense needed the kind of kick in the ass that Gholston has the potential to give it. Don’t get me wrong, I think every team should have the kind of fast, sneaky back who can turn short receptions into home runs and confuse defenses…and the Jets already have that in “Neon” Leon Washington. For those of you who have missed out on the steal of the 2006 draft, Washington is basically Reggie Bush except several million dollars cheaper. He can run, he can catch passes, he returns kicks, and the Jets even lined him up and ran the option every once in a while last year (further raising the question: WHY DO THEY STILL HAVE BRAD SMITH?!?). It was bad enough last year when it looked like Mangini and the gang were trying to find ways to ignore their offense’s most potent threat, and getting McFadden would have made it worse. The NFL isn't about saving special talents for every sixth play; it's about wringing them dry and bathing in the glory. Year three is where Washington gets some recognition for the speed he shows at his position, not just kick returns.
3. Cautious optimism regarding Thomas Jones!
Dear Thomas Jones,
I know in the past I’ve said some negative things about you. Ok, I’ve said some very negative things about you. Ok, there may or may not be a tag on my blog labeled “Zac’s Hatred” in which you get top billing. That’s neither here nor there. What’s important is that I am tentatively, cautiously, anxiously optimistic about your upcoming season. I mean, when you had a very good offensive line to run behind in Chicago, you were a thoroughly above-average back. Hell, you averaged over four yards a carry. I can’t even imagine that. Literally, I can’t picture you taking a ball and moving forward with it more than four yards without my ears starting to bleed. Still, it happened. And it can happen again. The Jets brought in OG Alan Faneca (who is also an offensive guard), and with both C Nick Mangold and LT D’Brickashaw Ferguson entering their third year, the line, or at least the left side of the line, could be very, very good. So how about this: I’ll stop saying mean things about you, and you stop being…well…being like you. Deal.
4. Handsome Chad for QB!
It is such bullshit that Tom Brady gets all the “dreamboat” talk, because everyone who watches AFC East football knows that the real catch of the division is Chad Pennington. Sure, Brady is a good looking guy, and he’s easy to fall in love with; then he knocks you up and disappears into the vapors leaving a trail of smoke and a press release saying “we’re thrilled to work together on this.” Meanwhile, Chad Pennington is the kind of gee shucks guy you can bring home to mom. Also, he’s not a bad QB. Say what you will about his arm strength, but they didn’t lose last year because of his shoulder surgeries (they lost because it’s not fair to ask ANY quarterback, no matter how strong, to consistently put up 30 or more). Hell, with the same arm he was the Comeback Player of the Year in 2006. Furthermore, he’s also the smartest QB on the roster, and is likely to have more time to work through his reads, which is always a good thing for an intelligent QB. Chad is still an incredibly accurate QB who has no problems working a mid range pass, and really, who on this team is catching the deep stuff anyway? I like Laveranues Coles, but he’s still the best number two receiver trapped in a number one spot, and nothing more. The fact that the Jets didn’t really make any moves to improve the pass game (outside of the obvious move of dropping Justin McCareins) means that the mid range pass is king once more in NY, and the best man for that job is Handsome Chad.
5. But if not him, then The American Dream Kellen Clemens for QB!
Let me tell you all the story of a young man named Kellen Clemens, who grew up in a small town in Oregon and got on a bus with nothing but a lunchbox, a big arm, and a dream, and left in search of stardom in the bright lights of New York City. Coming back to reality, year one of the Kellen Clemens experiment, perhaps its only year, was a rough one. Like, worst QB rating in the league rough. Like, throw one TD pass to ten interceptions rough. Still, it’s not entirely fair to judge Clemens on one half-season in which an already out of the playoffs team was thrown on his back, the defense was miserable, the offensive line was in shambles, Thomas Jones was his running back (crap…forget I said that, Thomas), Justin McCareins was special olympicizing his way through his number two receiver role, and, well, he really didn’t seem ready to start. The truth is, Clemens showed, in spurts, the kind of athleticism that can buy time in the pocket, and there’s no question about his arm strength (seriously, Kellen, not everything has to come out hot…we know you’ve got the strongest arm on the team). Personally, I’m a Chad fan, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Clemens is able to turn a revamped line and a year under center into smarter decisions and a productive use of his many athletic gifts. Besides, QB BATTLE IN THE PARKING LOT!!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
THE JETS FLIGHT CREW IS GETTING READY FOR THE SEASON
by DCScrap, on 205th magazine
Let's play a little Did You Know? Did you know a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader helped organize the New York Jets Flight Crew this spring? Okay, that's all I got. Here's a video in which the first 30 seconds is pure cinematic magic. And you honestly don't even need the sound on. Actually it's better without the sound. For that matter, the whole video is good with the sound off. It's more of a visual treat anyway.
Monday, April 28, 2008
OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST - THE AFC EAST DRAFT CLASS
by Zac, Throwing Into Traffic
OPTMIST/PESSIMIST will take a look at the NFL through both sides of the glass: The one that is pleasantly half full and the one that is bitterly empty. Today, we look at the AFC East Draft class.
Buffalo Bills:
OPTIMIST:
Alright Bills fans, you might want to be sitting down for this: Your team had one of the best first days of any team in the draft. With everyone creaming themselves over workout wonder Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie or soon-to-be High Times Athlete of the Year for 2009 Aqib Talib, the Bills stuck to their guns and took the most stable and proven corner in the draft in Leodis McKelvin, who will impact the return game as well as adding another versatile piece to a scary looking secondary. Then, with equally flashy, equally untrustworthy DeSean Jackson on the board, the Bills recognized need over highlight fodder and took 6’6” target James Hardy, forcing teams to lay off of blanketing Lee Evans and leaving the opposite side of the field open. That’s an intelligent, well thought out draft if I’ve ever seen one.
PESSIMIST:
Oh yeah, Bills, it’s a much better idea to take Leodis McKelvin instead of the corner who’s much better at the position or the one who’s much more athletic. Best to stick with that mediocrity formula that’s got you staring down the barrel of a decade long playoff drought. Also, kudos to you guys for thinking it’s a good idea to take a player with known personality problems and stick him in one of the most depressing, God-forsaken cities on Earth. You just know he’s going to get found with dead bodies in his car when he inevitably snaps midseason.
Miami Dolphins:
OPTIMIST:
When people are comparing your number one draft pick to Joe Thomas, only potentially MORE intelligent at the position, you know you did something right. Furthermore, there’s something to be said for a front office keeping its wits about them and taking SIX linemen with nine picks. Parcells has been around the block long enough to know that bad teams become better by winning in the trenches, and steals like Shawn Murphy and Phillip Merling will go a long way toward winning at the line on both sides of the ball.
PESSIMIST:
It’s too bad that lineman don’t catch touchdown passes, because I doubt Ted Ginn Jr. will be doing much when teams routinely throw three guys on him because there’s nobody else to cover. No worries though, because I doubt that Josh McCown (whom failure has made look like he has a drinking problem), Chad Henne (was it me, or did get fatter every time ESPN cut to him on draft day), or John Beck (nothing like being told you’re not performing as well as Cleo Lemon was to build a kid’s confidence) will be doing much damage through the air anyway.
New York Jets:
OPTIMIST:
I’m a total homer, but even if I wasn’t, I’d still think that Vernon Gholston has the ability to revolutionize a team’s pass defense on his own. Fine, he took plays off in college; when you can bench press the guy lining up across from you, it can be hard to stay motivated sometimes. The key here is that the team finally picked up a player who will fit perfectly into their 3-4 scheme, especially given an offseason devoted to adding solid role players to support him.
PESSIMIST:
And if the draft was only one round long, the Jets would be the big winners. Unfortunately, you still need to stick around for the remaining six rounds, and I’m not sure the team made a single good decision after Gholston (which was kind of like getting credit for spelling your name right on an exam). Trading up to make sure you can get Dustin Keller is dumb; doing so when every single quality WR prospect is still available is even dumber; doing so when you already have two TEs and are forcing Laveranues Coles and Jericho Cotchery into ill-fitting #1 and #2 receiver roles, respectively, is the height of stupidity. Uness Marcus Henry is the steal of the draft (Optimist’s note; And he might be…) the Jets are setting themselves up for another season of snoozefest offensive football. Oh, and way to take a quarterback that everyone says has a noodle-arm. It’s not like you guys already have one of those, or anything.
New England Patriots:
OPTIMIST:
Seriously, f*ck this team and their prudent, well-reasoned, financially responsible drafting. Jerod Mayo steps into a linebacking corps that will be able to show him the ropes early. If he can add that kind of knowledge to what many people believe to be the best physicality of any LB prospect, this defense may have just gotten irritating all over again. Also, Kevin O’Connell is going to be a stud. The kid throws a pretty deep ball, has serious wheels, and can throw on the move. If he doesn’t have to step into the signal calling role too soon (and let’s face it, he probably won’t see significant PT for at least three or four years), he’s got time to hone his unique physical gifts and emerge as the sleeper QB of this draft class.
PESSIMIST:
Could someone explain to me how it makes any damn sense to take a quarterback in the third round with plenty of corners on the board and a defense that has us all heralding the arrival of Eli Manning as an elite QB? Other than that…dammit…they actually did a decent job of bolstering special teams and not reaching…dammit I hate this team.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
11 THINGS 'JETS NATION' CAN DO FROM 1-4 ON SUNDAY
If Jets Nation actually exists, here's a list of 11 things for them to do from 1-4pm this Sunday while watching the federal pound-me-in-the-ass beating courtesy of the Patriots.
We did a list of 11 because Rick Mirer (3) + Browning Nagle (8) = 11, obviously. Not that you didn't already assume that.
- Replace the cans on your prized drinking helmet with a keg, it's going to be a long afternoon.
- Share some of that beer with your mustache, it has feelings too.
- Try to reverse the team's fortune by wearing a jersey of a Jets player that doesn't SUCK.
- Talk to yourself about the glory days of Ken O'Brien and Freeman McNeil.
- Pay for ESPN insider to read in-depth analysis from Todd McShay and Mel Kiper on how the Jets will butcher their #1 pick (2 spots after the Patriots select).
- Conduct a survey among local reporters and ask how far off Pennington was when he said they were "the luckiest people on earth."
- Re-enact the Nick Mangold/D'Bricksaw Ferguson summer crap-off at your girlfriend's apartment.
- Find something else to do with your life other than scream "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!" in the face of the pizza delivery guy.
- Try regular cotton candy instead of that disgusting chest hair cotton candy you insist on devouring.
- Embrace those New Englanders and start the 18th and highly relevant, "Yankees suck" chant.
- Fight the person next to you, oh wait...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
ERIC MANGINI LOVES MIKE NUGENT
by Mac G, Mac G's World
While watching football every weekend, I came up with a mantra, "How much will Pats' coach Bill Belichick and his players act like poor sports in victory?"
Actually, my litmus test phrase for certain coaching decisions is "WWBBD? What Would Bill Belichick Do?
Whether it is Joe Paterno's affinity with punting inside his opponents 40 or Herm Edwards constantly calling draw plays on 3rd and long, this theory can be applied to a coach at any level.
Say what you want to say about Belichick's personality (I could elaborate for eight paragraphs on his abrasive pompous behavior towards opposing teams, fans and the media), his aggressive style is one of the top coaching models in football right now. He always goes for it on makeable 4th down situations, unwilling to fall into the trap of using the outdated field position game formula.
Belichick's clock management skills are superb and his decisions are hardly second guessed. His teams rarely burn unwanted timeouts and he uses his challenges wisely. These are some of the reasons that he is the best coach in the NFL.
One of Belichick's scorned disciples, Jets head coach Eric Mangini, must really be trying to act out against his former teacher.
On Sunday, Mangini's Jets scored a late TD, missed the two-point conversation and were trailing the Browns 17-12 with three minutes to play. The Jets decided to go for the onside kick and they recovered it. Considering the Jets momentum, the surprise element of the kick and the driving rain, it was a worthwhile gamble that paid off.
The Jets moved the ball to the Browns 20 and were facing a 4th & 10 with 1:50 to play. Being down five points, it is a no-brainer that the Jets were going for it right? Wrong.
Mangini sends out kicker Mike Nugent and his FG makes it a two-point game. The Jets still did have all three timeouts so it would make sense to kick it deep and try to hold the Browns to a three and out? Wrong again.
The Jets try another onside kick, which the Browns recover. On 3rd down, Browns RB Jamal Lewis breaks free and runs all the way for a 31-yard TD score. The score now stands at 24-15 Browns.
On the ensuing Jets drive, they move the ball to the Browns 17 and have first down with 37 seconds left. Mangini decides to kick another FG! This decision cements my belief that one of Mangini's relatives either has the "Nuge" as his fantasy kicker or money on the over or both.
The Jets are down two scores with no timeouts and this Madden-type of move is questionable, but understandable. They need a miracle either way you slice it. After the "Nuge" drills another FG to make the score 24-18 Browns, the Jets line up for another onside kick.
This time the "Nuge" tries to pooch kick it and the ball goes at least 20-30 yard before going out of bounds. Another puzzling decision on forgoing the normal onside and an even more laughable execution.
Luckily for the Jets, a Browns' player lined up offside and they were able try the onside kick again. This time they tried the regular 10-yard variety and the Browns recovered. Ballgame.
Other thoughts on this very strange ending.
10 EASY STEPS TO BECOMING A JETS SUPERFAN
by Tbone, The Sports Hernia
Not that anyone is thinking of doing this, but I'm sure at one point or another you've all wondered what it takes to become a Jets superfan, or you've at least asked yourself aloud 'who are these people draped in what appear to be fake mustaches?' while watching the always festive first round of the NFL draft. Well, here's a quick step by step on how that transformation takes place.
- Grow an obscenely grotesque mustache. And by grotesque we mean hilarious.
- Throw that razor away as you will let this thing grow forever.
- Firmly believe the Jets are always going to the Super Bowl, even when they've been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Trust me, this is a necessity, just do it.
- Only tailgate with people that look exactly like Sal Fasano.
- Purchase a jersey of an awful Jets player, they can be retired or active, as there are many to choose from.
- Show team support by letting teeth become greenish and off-white (superbly done by most active Jet fans).
- Whenever possible, talk on and on about Jets football to all non-Jet fans. They looooove this.
- Buy that Mount Jetsmore poster with the faces of Rich Kotite, Joe Walton, Bruce Coslet and Herm Edwards. It'll be a nice touch in your green and white playroom.
- Fiercely defend whichever retarded coach is currently at the helm until he is replaced with the next moron.
- When the Jets are losing, shove as many cheese logs into your mouth as you can and then, and only then, begin talking trash to the opposing team's fans.
THE BELICHICK INTERNATIONAL SPY AGENCY
by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog
Who is Anthony Smith? Two weeks ago everyone on the planet would have said that they do not know of anyone by that name, but Anthony Smith of the Steelers decided to guarantee a victory over the undefeated Patriots. Of course, the Patriots walked away with a 34-13 victory where they burned Smith on three occasions for the touchdowns. Smith was also seen headbutting Tom Brady after Mr. Gisele Bundchen threw a first quarter touchdown.
The media entered the Pittsburgh locker room to get some quotes from Anthony Smith. Guess what? He states that the Steelers will see the Patriots again in the playoffs. Smith needs to focus on making plays on the field which will lead the team to victory instead of running his mouth. What would Bill Cowher have done to him if he pulled the same stunt on him? Rip his head off? Head coach Mike Tomlin needs to get his team back on the winning track and focusing on the next game instead of having to deal with a media firestorm after one of his weakest defensive players runs his stupid mouth.
Bill Belichick who usually says nothing in his press conferences that gets people riled up at all made some comments about Smith. When asked about many of the plays which took advantage of Anthony Smith, he stated that, "The safety play at that position was pretty inviting." Rodney Harrison and Randy Moss called out Smith saying that the team used the comments as motivation heading into the game.
The Pats have some motivation this weekend as they take on Eric Mangenius and the New York Jets. The Jets turned in the New England Patriots this season after getting a videotape confiscated from the Pats sideline during the first quarter of their week one match-up. As everyone knows, it was found out that the Patriots were filming the defensive coaches of the Jets so they could look at the signals thus knowing what the Jets were calling during the game. The Patriots were found guilty of the charges and lost their 1st round pick.
As we enter this Week 15 match-up the teams are heading in very different directions with the Patriots having a solid (ok, outstanding) 13-0 record while the Jets are only 3-10 with two of the wins coming against the hapless Dolphins. The Patriots started the week off as 27 point favorites as it is expected that Belichick will run up the score on the Jets for costing them a first round pick. According to some national reports, Mangenius was trying to steal Patriots assistant coaches on the way back from a playoff game which irked Belichick. The two coaches had a great relationship until Mangenius starting to try to cause problems with the Patriots staff. The Pats also filed tampering charges after the Jets were talking to a Patriots wide receiver who was not in camp about moving over to the Jets camp.
We will see what will happen this weekend and how many points Patriots will put up on the Jets, but I would say that the score will be closer then the 27 point spread as a blizzard is expected in the New England area starting on Sunday.
AS I WAS TYPING THIS POST UP, I HEARD ESPN REPORTING THAT THE JETS WERE CAUGHT VIDEOTAPING LAST SEASON AT GILETTE STADIUM. TAKE AWAY THE NUMBER 1 PICK OF THE JETS!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
CHECKING IN WITH "THEGARV"
by Tbone, The Sports Hernia
This past Sunday we posted an amazing discovery over on the Hernia, and his name is "TheGARV." TheGARV opened our eyes to one of the most ridiculous team theme songs we've ever heard, it's quite possibly the greatest or worst song ever made. And he wasn't kidding about it, he's dead serious, which is really why we love him. Anyways, we've come to realize that TheGARV is a frequent poster on YouTube, so check out this next gem we found.
This latest video runs for 4:19, so unless you're really looking to hurt yourself, fast forward to the end, when there's about 43 seconds left.
At this point in the clip, TheGARV claims that the brown door he's standing next to, the one with that inspiring Chad Pennington poster tacked to it, is in fact the dressing room of Chad's headquarters, and clearly not the door to TheGARV's playroom that has a race car bed, a Jets blow-up chair and countless G.I. Joe figures. Check it out after the jump.
Monday, November 19, 2007
RAINBOW BRITE AND PALS HAVE SOME NFL THOUGHTS
by BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity
Week 11: Where your writer slowly realizes it's hard finding source images for some of these obscure cartoons. Also, football!
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