by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation
Over at Steroid Nation, last weekend became ridiculously overloaded, so we took a pass on The 'Roid Report for a couple days. We now bring you the make-up version with an added bonus feature later, although we haven't quite figured out what the bonus will be.
The Maurice Greene doping story continues on. Greene arguably the top American sprinter of the past 10-15 years became a target of steroid suspensions when a dope dealer allegedly named him as a buyer of juice. Greene denied the rumors, however Greene's ex-training partner Ato Bolden reportedly sent a scathing letter to Greene, and their coach, accusing them of a steroid cover-up. Initially supporting Greene, the IAAF decided to ask the sprinter for an explanation.
Greene's Olympic performances are considered legends. 'Legendary' does not come to mind thus far when describing the upcoming Beijing Olympics. Disturbing stories came from China concerning a sinister plot to discredit American athletics by planting steroids to disqulifying them. Conspiracy or not, the reports add to the controversies surrounding Beijing. And down in Australia authorities busted a former Olympic swimming medalist for selling steroids.
With all these controversies, perhaps we should all relax, take deep breaths, and try Miguel Tejada's HGH/steroid protocol to stay young. Seems the current Astro lied about his age, and his steroid use. Wonder if the Feds now consider him in the country under false pretenses? One more Tejada investigation.
At least the NFL is clean... oops. San Diego linebacker Stephen Cooper tested postive for a banned substance (ephedra) leading to a 4 game suspension. Cooper joins fellow chargers Shawne Merriman and Luis Castillo as juicers. Anyone want to party with these wild and juiced-up guys? (Merriman can be found judging Miss USA). No one seems to want to sign a petition for zero tolerance in baseball for steroids, so might all just party with the NFL juicers.
More later this weekend on steroid silliness.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 20 (PT. 1)
Monday, April 14, 2008
THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 6
by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation
Imagine the surprise when, as you explore your new house, you jab yourself in the hand with a syringe hidden away in a mysterious hidden box. You suddenly feel your muscles growing larger than Hulk Hogan in a flex-pose. However, your face pops out with huge zits, your breasts grow larger than Paris Hilton's new bosoms, and your family jewels suddenly shrink to the size of sesame seeds. Yes, the house you bought belonged to a WWE pro-wrestler; you just accidentally discovered a left-over cache of growth-enhancing hormones and other novelty items.
Although not that dramatic, last week started out when a Georgia homeowner made the startling discovery of anabolic steroids, HGH, syringes, and needles in a rural George home, once owned by WWE wrestler Mike Knox. The surprised Locust Grove/Atlanta area resident announced later in the week he was going to try out for the Falcons as a lineman. Or maybe the New Orleans Saints, who signed former Cowboy/Falcons lineman Matt Lehr, unless Lehr is on trial for steroid distribution as suggested by a Dallas-area gym-owner.
Dateline: Juiced-lanta. A top Braves minor league prospect -- Jordan Schafer -- will sit down for 50 games after admitting to HGH use. A minor league prospect sits, while every MItchell Report juicer will pay on, we mean 'play on'...even Jose Guillen. Guillen, a Mitchell Report juicer, signed with the Kansas City Royals for 36 million over 3 years. The Royals expressed concern Guillen would serve a 15 day suspension for juicing. The team should be so lucky. Guillen gets about 2 million per hit, as the 'slugger' hits for a .122 average and a .163 slugging average over 12 games now. Maybe Guillen is a 'slow starter'; he needs to 'inject' some growth to earn his salary.
Too bad Guillen doesn't use a great agent like Scott Boras. Boras represents the Cardinal's Troy Glaus who received his gear from California steroid-doctor Ramon Scruggs. An indictment in the golden state says the good doctor supplied the juice to players like Glaus, many of whom may have acted on their agent's advice. Pumps up those billable hours.
Greg LeMond will no longer be billing anything to Trek Bicycles. The Wisconsin firm fired the Minnesota cycling legend's bike line because LeMond's outspoken criticism of dopers (read 'Lance Armstrong') offends the sensibility of Trek bike purchasers (read 'Lance Armstrong'). By the way, a famous cyclist endorses Trek bikes (read 'Lance Armstrong').
At least famous cyclists (read 'Lance Armstrong') generally didn't fire up as much as NASCAR driver Aaron Fike; Fike said he shot up heroin before NASCAR races. Heroin...Rubbin' is racing. Other NASCAR drivers expressed their subtle scientific opinions that it's batshit nuts to be on the same track with a 200 mph opioid user.
Even though he didn't win the Masters, Tiger Woods looked marvelous. Of course, some wag suggested Woods might be 'roided-up to fill out those golf-sweaters. Guess the dose was 3 strokes too light.
The week ended as a startling new track and field scandal burst out of the blocks. BALCO-related steroid distributor Angel Heredia from Mexico -- by way of Texas A and M -- apparently turned for the Feds about 3 years ago. Heredia will be a key witness when legendary track coach Trevor Graham goes up for a California trial on charges of lying to investigators. IRS super-agent and BALCO stud Jeff Novitzky will be on the team as Heredia reportedly will name 12 big name track stars accounting for 29 Olympic medals, and 21 world championships, as juicers. Heredia appears associated with BALCO-steroids coach Trevor Graham (coached Marion Jones, Tim Montgomery, CJ Hunter, Justin Gatlin and a dozen more proven/admitted juicers).
To keep we news-dogs salivating, Heredia rang up this bell -- he supplied legendary Kansas sprinter Maurice Greene with steroids, insulin, and growth hormones (and here). Greene, a world champion, Olympic gold medal winner, and an ex-world record holder denied all charges using an old speech Marion Jones speech.
Remember your morning juice, folks, and see you again next week.
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