by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. George Karl will return to pretend to coach the Nuggets again next year
9. The Spurs really didn't want to clinch at home
8. Atlanta Hawk fans do exist
7. The Wizards' fans are just as stupid as the Wizards' players
6. Detroit is so good, they can only beat themselves (just ask them)
5. There are week-old kittens that are less soft than Andrea Bargnani
4. When Josh Howard talks about smoking marijuana, it keeps Mark Cuban off the TV
3. Tracy McGrady will never, ever win a playoff series, because unlike (alleged) rapist Kobe Bryant, he is morally deficient
2. TBS Comedy Series are, despite all evidence to the contrary, Very Funny
1. Every team is now required to have a Designated Flopper
Showing posts with label Mavericks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mavericks. Show all posts
Sunday, April 27, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS WE DID NOT KNOW BEFORE WATCHING THE NBA PLAYOFFS THIS WEEKEND
Monday, March 24, 2008
TOP 10 SIGNS THAT MARK CUBAN'S STARTING TO LOSE IT
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Wearing a t-shirt with "Avery's Team" on it, and underwear that says "Nellie's Property"
9. Calling Toni Braxton for advice on how to motivate Jason Kidd
8. Already writing a furious post on his blog about this blog
7. Watching the footage of Dirk Nowitzki getting hurt on a continuous loop while weeping
6. Starting to redact final scores from recent Mavs games
5. Wants Ross Perot to buy the team back
4. So upset, he's not even able to say something to get fined
3. Launching a new "Dancing With the Cube" show for his HD channel, only this time, he's really going to femme it up
2. Believes that he is John Galt
1. Still totally behind Michael Bloomburg for President
Thursday, February 28, 2008
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD 2.29.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Nothing Personal, Kidd, Just Business.: Another Spurs Day, another Spurs crushing defeat of a Western Conference rival. This time the Mavericks played the part of the victim as the Spurs grabbed another one from in front of the Mavs' face, 97-94. It was a tight game throughout, everything a matchup of that proportion should have been. Duncan had 31 and 15, despite missing a layup and two free throws in crunch time. Dirk Nowitski was Dirk, which means, of course, he scored 28 points and then missed the game tying shot. Twice. Avery Johnson benched Jason Kidd for Jerry Stackhouse on the last possession, which ended with Jason Terry driving, not getting the foul called, not getting the foul called, and not getting the foul called, before Bruce Bowen blocked him into the night. I'm sure this is just what Kidd imagined when he approved the trade to Dallas.
The Lake, Lake Show: After the drama and suspense of the Dallas-San Antonio slugfest we were treated with... Miami versus LA. I want you to just imagine how this one went. Yup. That's pretty much in. Throw in one of the most amazing plays I've ever seen from Kobe Bryant (no look, half court, over the back pass to Walton, who then no look behind the back dished to a driving Odom for a dunk), and that's your ballgame. The scoreboard might as well have been "LA: A Lot, Miami: A Little."
Don't Matter The Zipcode, Speed Is Speed: Devin Harris scored 16 in the first half, leading a 7-0 lead off the bench in the first quarter to help the Nets to a 120-106 win over the Milwaukee Bucks. The Nets are really not that bad without Kidd. They may even be better. The young interior players are starting to gel, and Harris gives them a huge boost. Also, the YES announcers make me want to vomit. Try focusing more on the game and lesson Phil Collins' "The Air In The Night." Thanks.
Sam I Am Not A Clipper: Cassell got bought out. And he's going to sign with the Celtics on Monday. I know. Shocking. Also? Brent Barry's going to sign with the Spurs. Please. Try and contain your shock. It's not manly. Or womanly. Or personly.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD 2.21.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Your Word Of The Day? Trade. As in, "I'd trade everything in my possession not to have to hear anything more about trade rumors or how the Lakers made the only good trade of the season." Here's what happened in the last 24 Hours in the NBA...
Kobe Bryant Is Very Good At The Game Of Basketball: I could tell you how the Suns killed them on the offensive glass, 16-7. I could tell you how in the playoffs, it's highly unlikely that the Lakers will shoot 57% from the field in a seven game series. I could even tell you about how Sasha Vujacic probably won't be averaging 15 points per game come April. But none of that would be fair to the greatness that is Kobe Bryant. There was absolutely nothing Bryant didn't do last night in the Lakers' 130-124 win over the Suns in their first game with Shaquille O'Neal. Bryant scored 41 points to go with 5 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks. That is, as the kids say, fucking amazing. The Big Fella had 15 and 9 in the loss. There's a lot to take from the win for the Lakers and a lot of questions for the Suns. Starting with, "How do you let the Lakers' shoot 57% from the field?"
This Did Not Work Out As We Planned: Jason Kidd debuted with the Mavs tonight. And after 8 points, 6 rebounds, 5 assists, and 6 turnovers, the Mavs lost to the Hornets 104-93. That's a little disappointing. Chris Paul had 31, 5, and 11, because he's what's considered "awesome". Dirk had 31 and 8 in the loss that dropped the Mavs to 6th in the West. You sneeze in the Western Conference and you're out of the playoffs. Which is funny, because saying "Nowitzki" sounds a lot like sneezing.
Maybe They Should Trade For New Identities And A Lot Of Drugs: Every now and then, I start to wonder if God loves any of us, or if he cares at all. I wonder if he ever gets angry or vengeful towards us or if he's just apathetic towards the lot of us. Then things like the Sixers beating the Knicks by forty (40!) happen. Isiah said after the game that the trade deadline may have been the culprit. Which is kind of like blaming global warming on Puff the Magic freaking Dragon. Philadelphia is currently in the playoffs. May God have mercy on your soul, Eastern Conference.
We Know Who To Blame. That Garnett Fella: The Celtics are now 0-2 since KG got back. Everyone, panic! Boom Dizzle nailed a jumper with .3 to play to give the Warriors a 119-117 win over the Celtics in the Roaracle. Dizzle had 29, Ellis had 26, and Harrington had 22 points in 28 minutes. Because, you know, Chris Webber (5 points and 2 turnovers in 20 minutes) was totally worth the dough. Ray Allen had 32, KG had 17 and 15, and Rajon Rondo had no rebounds for the Celtics who all of a sudden look very mortal. Did I mention the Warriors were without Stephen Jackson? Because that's not a good sign for the Green.
Elsewhere: Yawn. LeBron had another triple double in a win over an inferior Eastern team (Pacers). Yawn. In an awesome matchup of young big men, Bosh outdid Howard with 40 points and the Raps whupped the Magic. Ron Artest led Bibby's old team over Bibby's new team. Milwaukee beat Detroit. I know. I'm scared, too.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP AWARD FOR FEBRUARY 20
Props to Hugging Harold Reynolds (again).
If you do or see some great photoshopping in the future, send it to us and you might win ...
... extra credit!
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD 2.20.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
And we're back from the All-Star break. If you were wondering how it was? Wet. Drunken. Much like New Orleans of old, only with a lot more features on the messed up stuff that happened after Katrina and a lot more cops. Also, Mark Cuban's pretty cool. And by "pretty cool" we mean "often drunk."
Here's what happened in the last 24 hours in the NBA:
Our Long National Annoyance Is Over: "J-Kidd is a Mav." That's the email Cuban sent to ESPN. Literally. After constantly talking about not disrupting the team's chemistry, about how the contracts would be too hard to move, in the end, the triple-double machine was too much of a lure. The Mavs gave up Devin Harris, DeSagna Diop, Trenton Hassell, Keith Van Horn (yeah, him), 2 draft picks, some other guy I can't remember, and a partridge in a pear tree to go along with two of Cuban's harem. The Year of Setting Fire To Your Longterm Prosperity Continues.
Would You Mind Not Shooting At The Thermonuclear Spanish Forward Center?: So I'm at the gym, minding my own business, running to Arcade Fire, when a score comes up on the television, or "telly" as the Brits call it. It says, Halftime: Hawks 37, Lakers 73. Thanks a lot, Atlanta. You and your genius trade for Mike Bibby (5 points, 3 assists, 4 turnovers) almost killed me. Nice job. Pau Gasol and Kobe both had 23 in the win, and lookee lookee. The Lakers are a game back of the top spot in the West. No pressure, guys.
Love Potion #9: Get out your shovels. It's time to dig up Houston. Because they're not dead yet. The Rockets polished off LeBron for their 9th win in a row, 93-85. James had a triples double, and it still wasn't enough to overcome the balanced Houston attack led by Rafer Alston's 22 points. I'll let you read that again and let it sneak in. Remember to breathe. ... Okay. Luis Scola had 15 and 8, as he inches his way for rookie of the year runner-up status.
World's Saddest Sentence Competition: See if you can pick out the saddest sentence in the following: Knicks' Randolph throws water at diminutive Nate Robinson and starts fight during Knicks timeout. Robinson responds by throwing towel back. The game featured 9 total fast break points. The fight happened inside of the minute with the Knicks in a dogfight with the
sixth seed in the East, Washington. The Knicks then proceeded to go out and score a record 23 points in the five minute overtime to beat the Wizards. Tough to pick just one, isn't it?
Elsewhere: Rasheed blocked Superman several times, but it didn't matter when the Pistons couldn't hit anything and Rashard Lewis was on fire, Magic win 103-85. We might want to find out who pissed in Deron Williams' Wheaties (29 poins, 12 Assists), and tell them never to do it again, Jazz roll 119-109. D-League All-Star Game MVP Jeremy Richardson scored 8 points in 8 minutes in the loss to the Lakers. Sactown got 24 from Crazy Pills and 23 from Francisco Garcia off the bench to knock off the Blazers.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD: 2.14.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Perhaps Next Time You Will Respect His Proud, Argentinian Heritage, Mr. James: Every now and again, when he's not randomly falling on his ass like he's got vertigo, Manu Ginobili has one of those nights where he's simply beyond words. Last night was such a night. The Argentinian Athenian poured in 46 points and 8 rebounds to lead the Spurs to a 112-105 victory over the LeBronites. Later, Ginobili was quoted as saying "Suck it, Trebek. Suck it hard, and suck it long. And by 'Trebek' I mean, whatever dumbass didn't vote me to the All-Star Game." The King had 39 in the loss.
Five Card Monte, Captain Jacks Are Wild: If you ever wanted to watch the most fun possible in an NBA game, you should have caught Suns-Warriors on the WWL last night. A wild, 120-118 shootout ended when Amare Stoudemire missed a tying free throw inside 30 seconds and Leandro Barbosa missed a game winning 3 with no time left on the clock. Monte Ellis, the most underrated of all Warriors, led the game with 37 points, 9 rebounds, and 5 assists. That's good, if you were wondering. Grant Hill had 26 and 15 in a "Matrix"-esque performance. Shaq will not play until after the All-Star break. Oh, who are they playing after the break? Let's see.. hmm... the L...A... La-Lakers. The LA Lakers. Oh. well, as long as there won't be much media hype for that.
Novak? No Problem!: The Rockets were up by 18. It was an easy game. They were probably thinking about NOLA, or wherever they're going on vacation. Probably thinking about beads and boobies and whatnot. Unfortunately, Crazy Pills Artest decided to storm his team back to tie the game. That's when Steve Novak happened. Novak hit a game winning 3 with two seconds left to lead the Rockets to an 89-87 win over the Kings in H-Town. Artest had 30 points, 15 in the fourth, but it wasn't enough. Oh, and Tracy McGrady passed up two shots at the game-winner. You know. Just sayin'.
This Is Certainly Awkward: Okay, you're probably waking up to read this, so just a little FYI. Jason Kidd is not a Mav, and Diop, Stackhouse, and especially Devean George still are. Turns out that due to an Early-Bird clause in George's contract, he's granted a no-trade clause (don't ask). And he decided to use it. After asking to be traded. Do you hear me, Vince Carter? A dude that's buried on the bench and wanted to be traded, he doesn't want to play with you. You douchebag. Meanwhile, Dirk Nowitski decided not to give a rat's ass about the trade stuff and just beat the crap out of a smaller Portland squad, 96-76. Dirk had 37 and 12 to lead the Mavs. Oh, and the Nets lost to the Raptors, 109-91, because there is justice in this land.
Elsewhere: No one wants the eight spot in the East. At all. Atlanta lost to the Bobcats without Gerald Wallace, the Nets lost to the Raptors, and the Pacers lost to Detroit. Hey, if you guys aren't doing anything, you want to get some of the guys together, and maybe your sister, and we can go play in the Eastern Conference playoffs? Just sayin'. Just an idea. Oh, and the UNSTOPPABLE UNBEATABLE FORCE known as the Los Angeles Lakers beat Minnesota. Kobe Bryant shot a lot. He made most of them. The other team was bad. The end.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
KIDD TO MAVERICKS, SPURS RUMORED TO BE SHOPPING FOR ICBM
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
The Western Conference Arms Race Of 2008 went through another escalation today as the Dallas Mavericks traded Devin Harris, Jerry Stackhouse, DeSagna Diop, Maurice Ager, and two first round draft picks to the New Jersey Nets for point guard Jason Kid.
Well, then.
After Gasol went to the Lakers, it was expected that there would be a flurry of activity to try and respond. But I don't think anyone expected this. Shaq to the Suns, Kidd to the Mavs? What's next?
Denver is in constant talks with Sacramento to pick up Artest, which would be an alarming combination of unstable personalities in the Mile High City, not to mention what it would cost the Nuggets, more than likely standout forward Linas Kleiza and possibly Nene Hilario.
Portland knows it's short right now heading into the playoffs and may look to upgrade at a position.
The Hornets know their bench is weak and they're going to have to respond in order to catch up with the rest of the West in the playoffs.
Utah is contemplating moving a resurgent Andrei Kirilenko as a result of all the different moves that have taken place.
And then there's the Spurs.
The Spurs keep saying they're not shopping, and that's a pretty good bet. They know they have a winning team and they won't make the mistake other teams are making in sacrificing their long term potential for the short term.
Which is exactly what those teams have done.
Trading Marion was a near necessity for the Suns. The locker room dynamic was suffering and there was a wide deficit in the paint in terms of rebounds and defense. They could have gone out and gotten a combination of young players to slide in, but they elected for the $40 million homerun, in the biggest gamble of Steve Kerr's short front office career.
But the Mavericks move was even more mystifying. They had depth, they had youth, they had a high payroll but manageable assets. And they pumped half of that out the door for the shot at the homerun with an aging point guard shooting 37% this year.
Now, don't get me wrong, Jason Kidd is a tremendous playmaker, and I don't hate the deal in terms of moving Kidd in. It's what they gave up that's perplexing. Here's what the Mavs are dependent on, now that they've pulled this trigger. After assuming Kidd plays motivated and up to his All-Star caliber, you still need the following...
This could end up great for the Mavs, and Kidd could shove the over the top to a championship. If it doesn't, it's a bust. That's the gamble on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. What you give up is your future.
For the Nets, this is a pretty sweet deal. I've bagged on Thorn all year long, but he came through today. Young, talented, developing point guard. A big man to fill their monster gap in the center. Maurice Ager's junk. And two first round picks to go with the second rounder they're picking up from the Mavs for Antoine Wright. They come out with talent, flexibility, and draft picks.
Hey, Memphis! You payin' attention?
Either way this works out, the West just got absolutely redonkulous.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
24 HOURS ON THE HARDWOOD: 2.5.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Hell Hath No Fury Like Like The Mavericks After Getting Their Ass Handed To Them: Note to self: Do not play Dallas Mavericks the day after they get the shit kicked out of them on national television. Dallas came out of the gates against Orlando, went back, blew the gates off, picked up the gates, beat the crap out of the Magic with the gates, then set fire to the gates and made the Magic eat them. Dallas led from beginning to end in a 107-98 win in Orlando. Dirk had 20 and 9, Terry had 20, and Josh Howard led the Mavs with 28 points, 7 rebounds and 3 assists. Strangely enough, Dwight Howard also scored 28 points, also had 7 rebounds, also had 3 assists, and also very badly wanted Dirk Nowitzki to cut that mane of his.
Now Would Be An Opportune Moment To Point Out That The Jazz Are Gonna Get You, Sucka: You remember when the Hornets were unstoppable? Yeah, that was fun. Utah, winners of 9 straight and currently the 4th seed in the West smoked the Hornets by 22, behind Deron Williams' 29 points, 11 assists. The Hornets have dropped 3 straight, and look completely lost all of a sudden. Boozer tossed in 19 points and 17 rebounds. Jannero Pargo led the Hornets with 24. That's a bad sign, if you can't tell.
Oh, Hey, What's Up? Yeah, I'm Still The Answer, Thanks: Allen Iverson hit the game winner with less than a second on the clock in overtime, then traveled back in time just to watch himself hit that shot and masturbate to give the Nuggs a 105-103 win over the Portland Trailblazers who's trail is not quite as blazing as it once was. Brandon Roy led the Blazers with 26, 7, and 8, while the Lithuanian sensation, Linas Kleiza added 15 for the Nuggets. Portland is now 4-6 in its last 10.
If Only Games Ended After A Half: The Suns came out sluggish, fell behind to the Bobcats, led by only 3 at the half, then in the second half, whipped out the threekkake on the way to a 118-104 win. Raja Bell had 7 three pointers for the Suns, who shot 44% from the arc. The Bobcats, who were without G-Force Gerald Wallace and any real sense of hope for now or the future, were led by Jason Richardson with 25. Their bench, much like my mojo Freshman year of college, was non-existant.
We'll Spot You 15, Cool?: The Sixers went on a 15-0 run in the first quarter. They led 32-14. Then Josh Smith did the happy dance all over their mothers. Smith had 9 blocks to go with 19 points and 9 assists to carry the Hawks (Ka-kaw!) to a 96-91 win. Andre Miller led the Sixers with 29 points and 4 turnovers. The Hawks celebrated with a bitchin' Pizza Hut party that Josh Childress' mom threw afterwords. Only, not at all.
These Things Will Not Shock You: The Heat, Knicks, Timberwolves, and Sonics all lost to middle of the road teams. Which is easy when you're a "left of the road, drowning in your own feces in the gutter" team.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
CUBAN LOVES BLONDES
by Mac G, Mac G's World
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban spent his MLK holiday watching his team get walloped by the Wizards in Washington, DC.
The outcome of the game might not have been the only thing giving him a nightmarish headache as Cuban was spotted partying it up on Sunday night at the "Guards" in Georgetown.
“He stayed for a couple hours. The crowd loved him.”
I know locating stories in the blogosphere of Cuban boozing with locals is as common as discovering racy Lucy Pinder cleavage shots on the Internet.
However, it appears this was a return trip for Cuban to the Georgetown nightlife as he visited the Bush daughters infamous hangout "Smith Point" on the last Mavs road game at DC.
“He loves the preppy bars and the young blondes.”
I searched Cuban's Blog for any mention of pink shirts, popped collars or hot blonde's. No Dice. I just hope Cuban is not a closet member of the elitist Gtown social group, Late Night Shots.
Friday, January 11, 2008
THROWING KNIVES: SINCE WHEN...
by BD, Staff Writer
Over the last few weeks the talk of the NBA seems to have become the top two teams in the Eastern Conference. Everyone and their cousin has anointed the Pistons and Celtics as the league's top two teams. All the while forgetting about the Dallas' and San Antonio's of the world. The two teams out west with more than a legitimate shot of hoisting the trophy on the seasons final day.
I know, I know Boston has the league's best record, but in watching them beat up on the rest of the leastern conference I'm far from a believer. Sure they've gotten contributions from guys outside of the big three, but not consistently. Most nights it's the big three or bust for the C's. And while they've gotten in done far more often than not their's one guy on that roster I don't trust come playoff time. His name? Paul Pierce. The guy who consistently takes bad shots, yet for some reason gets the ball when it matters most. Paul Pierce is their kryptonite and come playoff time he'll be the one to blow it for the other two "superstars."
The Pistons are a completely different animal. A team that relies on a balanced attack offensively and an in-your-jersey defensive toughness that can make Greg Popovich blush. A team working with a competent bench for the first time since they knocked off Kobe and Shaq in 2004. This Pistons team is the closest they've looked to the title team since Okur and others left town that off-season. The problem? Rasheed Wallace. I love the guy, but he's a ticking time-bomb. His lack of control is alarming and it was evident in the team's loss to the Celtics at home as 'Sheed walked from the court to his car and left. He didn't change, he didn't talk to anyone he just left. Just another example of 'Sheeds instability and it often seems that his energy fuels this team. On a bad night for him, they're not winning. But when he's on they're virtually unbeatable.
Then you have the West, where San Antonio and Dallas both reside. The Spurs are still the best team in the league for my money and Dallas is in the same breath as Detroit and Boston. The baffling thing for me is how the Mavericks especially have been overlooked after last years first round flame out. With Jason Terry playing as probably the best six man in the league and the addition of Brandon Bass Dallas is even better than last year. And they sent a stern message last week when they dismantled the Warriors by 22 points. This is an improved team and barring a rash of injuries they'll meet San Antonio in the West finals this May.
For those of you wondering why I haven't mentioned the Suns, here you go: Their system just doesn't win in the playoffs and I don't think it ever will. Amare Stoudamire, (rather than Shawn Marion) is quickly becoming a distraction as he whines over what amounts to spilled milk. Grant Hill is out, though it's not his fault he'll probably go down again once he returns from his appendectomy. Phoenix is a team as well that can't afford many injuries as they lack the bench depth of a true contender.
All in all I point to the West for the best teams as they're playing better competition night in and night out. While the East's elite beat up on teams that are average at best. I stand by my preseason projection of a Detroit championship, but when you start the to overlook the Western giants it's unlikely to shake out well. As they've gotten it done as favorites, I can only imagine them as the underdogs.
Weekend NFL Picks
Seattle @ Green Bay (-7.5)
Pick: Seattle ATS, but GB wins it.
Jacksonville @ New England (-13.5)
Pick: New England on both counts. Barring the worst passing conditions of all-time.
San Diego @ Indy (-9)
Pick: Indy on both.
NY Giants @ Dallas (-7.5)
Pick: The Giants on both.
Highlight O' The Day: Not Supposed To Do That
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
THE RUNDOWN: I DON'T LIKE SHAQ VERY MUCH
by Davey, Blown Coverage
The Rundown is a weekly "gambling" column based on and inspired by the time I spent working at sports books.
As I was reading Simmons' annual "NBA Trade Value" column today, two things made me pretty giddy. First, he ranked Dwight Howard no. 2 in trade value right now. In other words, as of right now, the only other guy with more trade value (considering age, ceiling, cap hit etc. etc.) would be LeBron James.
So, my Magic made a right choice by picking Howard over Emeka Okafur a few seasons ago and the leap that Howard is making right now to that elite level is pretty amazing to see. But the other thing that brought a smile to my face was the fact that the original Orlando Magic big man, Shaq, was totally left off the list.
Two seasons ago, Simmons still considered Shaq to be a top-15 guy in terms of trade value. Now, he's not even top-50. That's quite a drop if you think about it and frankly, I don't mind that at all.
If I were to make a list of players or coaches that have brought me the most pain during my years of following sports, Shaq would have that number one position locked up pretty securely. Up until a few years ago, I would have to have put Michael Jordan first, but recent events have catapulted Shaq over MJ.
And if you're wondering who would be on that list, it's pretty extensive but I'm going to just put the guys that really stick out.
- Kirby Puckett and Jack Morris (Kept the Braves from winning the World Series in '91)
- Jim Leyritz (F*ck this guy. His homerun in game 3 turned the series around and kept the Braves from repeating as champs)
- Chris Burke (Walk-off homerun in the 18th inning! eliminated Atlanta in the '05 play-offs)
- The entire Jacksonville Jaguars team from '99 (Beat Miami 62-7 in the play-offs in what would be Dan Marino's last game)
- Ricky Williams (Abandoned Miami in '04. Went from league's leading rusher to league's biggest joke. The team still hasn't recovered)
- Nick Saban (Offered Dolphin fans hope with arrival in '05. Picked Culpepper over Brees heading into the '06. Disappeared into the night afterwards and opened the floodgates for this horrible season)
- Dave Wannstedt (Ricky got the shit started, Saban completely opened the floodgates but it was Wannstedt who laid the current foundation of this team)
- KirbyFreeman/KyleWright (The two clowns attempting to play quarterback for the Miami Hurricanes the past couple of seasons. They made Brock Berlin look like Carson Palmer)
- Hakeem Olajuwon (Led Houston team that swept Orlando in the '94 season Nba Finals)
- Michael Jordan (His Bulls swept the Magic in the '95 Eastern Conference Finals and things have never been the same, but I'll have to explain a bit more)
So yes, I started following the Magic around the '93 season. By the time '94 came around, Orlando had two of the league's brightest young stars in Shaq and Penny Hardaway and combined with the likes of Dennis Scott, Nick Anderson and Horace Grant, they became one of the funnest teams to watch.
That team was "the boss" like Liston would say. That intro was the boss. The green mascot was the boss. The fact that they made it to the Finals was also very bossy.
In the Finals however they got outplayed by a much more experienced Houston Rockets team led by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler. Houston swept Orlando but there was no reason to believe that this team wouldn't be back regularly in the Finals. Heck, they even beat Jordan on the way to making the Finals..
But Jordan regained his swagger the next season and the '95-'96 Bulls were playing on levels we hadn't seen before. They dominated their way to a 72-win regular season and swept Orlando in the Conference Finals and went on to beat the Supersonics for the title as Jordan got his 4th ring.
In the off-season, Shaq choose the money and bolted to L.A. I can't say that I blame him but I'd like to call this "the Curse of Shaq" because Orlando has never been the same.
Penny was left to carry the team alone but he got frustrated and asked for a trade a few seasons later. Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill were supposed to be the next big duo but it never materialized as Hill suffered season ending injury after season ending injury. McGrady got bitter and demanded a trade and the ensuing Steve Francis experiment also failed.
And even now as we have the next big star in Dwight Howard, I'm still not going to be happy until this team makes out of the first round of the play-offs.
Now, you can argue that Jordan would have kept Orlando from winning any titles in those next 3 years, it would have still been fun to watch that battle. Orlando would have been right there with Chicago along with the Pacers, Heat and Knicks. Jordan would have probably still come out on top, but we couldn't even see Orlando compete anymore after Shaq left.
Shaq went to L.A. and got a new sidekick in Kobe and in '99, they found themselves in the Western Conference Finals against the Trailblazers. The series went to game 7 and since I had a feeling that Portland would pull it out, I put a big amount of money on the Blazers to win.
Now here's where things get really painful. The Blazers put in an epic choke performance during the 4th quarter and the Lakers pulled off the biggest game 7 comeback of all-time. I lost my money, Shaq was back in the Finals and he would go on to win 3 titles in a row. You can imagine how that made me feel....
But don't worry, the big guy decided to add a bit more salt to my already gaping wound. After his relationship with Kobe soured, Shaq left L.A. and came back to Florida. But no, he wasn't returning to Orlando. Nope, he was joining the cross-town rival Heat to team with the next budding young star, Dwayne Wade.
And yes, you know how this story ends up. Shaq and Wade led the Heat to the Finals in the '05-'06 season against the Dallas Mavericks. I decided to put cash on the Mavericks to win the series because I just couldn't imagine that Shaq could possibly bring me anymore pain than he already had.
Dallas took a 2-0 series lead but Miami came back to win the next 4 and Shaq had his 4th ring. He finally won one in Florida, but not with Orlando. I mean, how brutal is that??
Imagine the joy that Bengals fans must have felt when they drafted Carson Palmer. Now imagine Carson leaving the Bengals after their play-off season to join the 49ers. He leads San Fran to a few titles while the Bengals flounder and then returns to Ohio, only not to Cincy but to Cleveland as he leads the Browns to a championship. That's basically the equivalent of what I had to deal with.
So yeah, excuse me if I'm enjoying his rapid decline just a tad too much. He hasn't given me many reasons to smile over the past 10 years or so.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
THE MIDWAY: CFL GREATS, DIRK NOWITZKI & JUB-JUB
A look at some people that were once college greats but NFL busts, that are actually thriving in the CFL. (Deuce of Davenport)
The evolution of Dirk Nowtizki. Dirk is like the chameleon of the NBA. (The Pig Pen)
Last night, in the 3rd innning, Joe Buck fulfilled his promise to Conan O'Brien and said "jub-Jub" during the World Series. (Home Run Derby)
Thursday, September 27, 2007
ROY TARPLEY SUING MAVERICKS, NBA
by Mike, the Pig Pen
Ah, Roy Tarpley. Or better known as an early 90's Lindsay Lohan in a 6'11 black man's body. If you don't remember Roy "Berooy" Tarpley, he was kicked out of the NBA, twice, for drug and alcohol problems. First being in 1991 when he tested positive for cocaine. And after being reinstated and resigned by Dallas in 1994, Tarpley was booted off the team and banned from the NBA in 1995 due to serious alcohol problems. Sounds like a normal guy to me. Who doesn't get into some cocaine and significant amounts of alcohol at some point in their life? Just kidding. But this out of the Dallas Morning News, it looks as though Tarpley is suing the Mavericks and the NBA.Former Dallas Mavericks forward Roy Tarpley is suing the team and the NBA, claiming they violated the Americans with Disabilities Act by refusing to reinstate him to the league.
Tarpley, who was permanently banned from the NBA in 1995, says in his lawsuit the NBA and the Mavericks discriminated against him on the basis of his disability as a recovering drug and alcohol abuser.
What the f*ck is he point? Does he truly believe the Dallas Mavericks were going resign a recovering alcoholic, just because, and pencil him in the starting five? C'mon Tarp. I understand employee discrimination but it's kind of ridiculous to assume a team and a league must reinstate you because of an illness, which just curiously happens to be an addiction to cocaine. And on top of that, what is he trying to obtain out of all this? Reinstatement into the NBA? I have a better chance at understanding what the f*ck is going on in NBC's "Heroes" than Roy Tarpley, 43, has at running up and down an NBA court. Give it up Tarp.
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