by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. George Karl will return to pretend to coach the Nuggets again next year
9. The Spurs really didn't want to clinch at home
8. Atlanta Hawk fans do exist
7. The Wizards' fans are just as stupid as the Wizards' players
6. Detroit is so good, they can only beat themselves (just ask them)
5. There are week-old kittens that are less soft than Andrea Bargnani
4. When Josh Howard talks about smoking marijuana, it keeps Mark Cuban off the TV
3. Tracy McGrady will never, ever win a playoff series, because unlike (alleged) rapist Kobe Bryant, he is morally deficient
2. TBS Comedy Series are, despite all evidence to the contrary, Very Funny
1. Every team is now required to have a Designated Flopper
Showing posts with label Nuggets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nuggets. Show all posts
Sunday, April 27, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS WE DID NOT KNOW BEFORE WATCHING THE NBA PLAYOFFS THIS WEEKEND
Friday, April 11, 2008
CARMELO ANTHONY ENTERS MY DREAMS
by wwtb?, Pacifist Viking
The Denver Nuggets have been in a heated battle to make the NBA playoffs: every game has mattered dearly to their playoff hopes. With that in mind, look at Carmelo Anthony's game logs to see his performances in the last four games:
19/24 (79%), 47 points
17/31 (55%), 38 points
13/17 (77%), 36 points
12/20 (60%), 25 points
With the season on the line, Anthony has gone on an absolute shooting tear. For the season, Anthony averages 26.1 ppg, 7.5 rpg, and 3.4 apg.He has no shot at MVP (nor, reasonably, should he); he probably won't make All-NBA first team. But man, you've got to appreciate a 26 ppg scorer that is shooting 66% when his team badly needs it.
If the Nuggets nab the #8 seed and get to play the New Orleans Hornets in the first round of the playoffs, we could see the most competitive #1-#8 matchup in a long time (last year's Dallas-Golden State matchup was actually not competitive). Just 7.5 games separate the Nuggets and Hornets in the standings (for comparison, 26 games currently separate the likely #8 seed from the #1 seed in the East), and can you see a matchup of a team with Carmelo Anthony, Allen Iverson, and Marcus Camby and a team with Chris Paul, Tyson Chandler, and David West being one-sided?
Tell you what, folks, you can keep the NCAA tournament. I'd rather have the best players in the world facing off against each other every night for a couple of months. It's going to be fun.
Monday, February 11, 2008
48 HOURS ON HARDWOOD: WEEKEND EDITION
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Here's what went on this weekend in the NBA. Yes. That basketball league. No. Not the one with the big tournament in March. Yes. The one with the guns and drugs and Lithuanian dudes.
Yello "Hello!", Melo!: So what did you do with your weekend? Put up some drywall? Fix that leaky faucet upstairs? Go see a startling off-Broadway show? Jerk off into a gymsock? Well, here's what Carmelo Anthony did. Two games, 70:59 of playing time, 76pts, 12 rebounds, 4 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocked shots, 2 wins. Kind of puts changing the oil in the car to shame, don't it? Melo was redonkulous this weekend with wins over the Wiz and the banged-up LeBronite-less LeBronites. People scoffed when Melo was selected for the All-Star game. Well, who's laughing now, bitch? Who's laughing now?
Surging Into The Break On A Win Streak Of...One.: The Knicks toppled the mighty Milwaukee Bucks on Saturday, and Jamal Crawford, after scoring 30 points on 11-23 shooting, said "It almost felt like we won the championship." I'm not sure who's that sadder for, Jamal Crawford, the Knicks, the Bucks, or Spike Lee. People are all aflutter that the Knicks are playing better. They've won 2 of their last 8.
The Big Fundamentally Not Fundamental To Victories: Paul Pierce would like to invite all of you to suck his right nut. Not both of them, just his right one. It's saltier, and he's named it "Why No One Should Have Forgotten I'm Still Kickass." He calls it "Herman" for short. After escaping "rival" Minnesota on Friday with a last second layup from Leon Powe, Pierce helped the Celtics brush the Spurs off their shoulders on Sunday with 35 points. The Celtics improved to 5-2 without Garnett in the lineup and 39-9 overall. Yowzers. The Celtics are 16-0 against the Western Conference this season. Yowzer-Bowzers and Zoinks.
YOU CAN'T STOP PAU GASOL (Unless You're The Hawks): The greatest team ever assembled was 1-1 over the weekend, with a disappointing loss to the Hawks on Friday that surely was caused by some sort of massive EMP, shorting out Pau Gasol's cybernetic functions. Thankfully, America's Team broke through on Sunday against a very tough Miami squad (no, really), who seem rejuvenated by Shawn Marion's presence. They might have made it a game,too, if Ricky Davis did not play basketball professionally. Pau Gasol, in all seriousness, is simply amazing with this Laker offense.
It's Like Waiting For Prom, If Your Date Was A 300LB, 34 Year-Old Center/Genie/Superhero/Police Officer: Shaq's in Phoenix, raring to go, but he's not going to see court time until Wednesday at the earliest. In the meantime, Phoenix almost lost to Seattle with Kevin Durant only scoring 9 points, and then let the Wizards hang around all game before eeking out a one-point win last night. The good news is that Amare Stoudemire looks like he's ready to get back to doing what he does best. Dunking, screaming, and missing free-throws.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
24 HOURS ON THE HARDWOOD: 2.5.08
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Hell Hath No Fury Like Like The Mavericks After Getting Their Ass Handed To Them: Note to self: Do not play Dallas Mavericks the day after they get the shit kicked out of them on national television. Dallas came out of the gates against Orlando, went back, blew the gates off, picked up the gates, beat the crap out of the Magic with the gates, then set fire to the gates and made the Magic eat them. Dallas led from beginning to end in a 107-98 win in Orlando. Dirk had 20 and 9, Terry had 20, and Josh Howard led the Mavs with 28 points, 7 rebounds and 3 assists. Strangely enough, Dwight Howard also scored 28 points, also had 7 rebounds, also had 3 assists, and also very badly wanted Dirk Nowitzki to cut that mane of his.
Now Would Be An Opportune Moment To Point Out That The Jazz Are Gonna Get You, Sucka: You remember when the Hornets were unstoppable? Yeah, that was fun. Utah, winners of 9 straight and currently the 4th seed in the West smoked the Hornets by 22, behind Deron Williams' 29 points, 11 assists. The Hornets have dropped 3 straight, and look completely lost all of a sudden. Boozer tossed in 19 points and 17 rebounds. Jannero Pargo led the Hornets with 24. That's a bad sign, if you can't tell.
Oh, Hey, What's Up? Yeah, I'm Still The Answer, Thanks: Allen Iverson hit the game winner with less than a second on the clock in overtime, then traveled back in time just to watch himself hit that shot and masturbate to give the Nuggs a 105-103 win over the Portland Trailblazers who's trail is not quite as blazing as it once was. Brandon Roy led the Blazers with 26, 7, and 8, while the Lithuanian sensation, Linas Kleiza added 15 for the Nuggets. Portland is now 4-6 in its last 10.
If Only Games Ended After A Half: The Suns came out sluggish, fell behind to the Bobcats, led by only 3 at the half, then in the second half, whipped out the threekkake on the way to a 118-104 win. Raja Bell had 7 three pointers for the Suns, who shot 44% from the arc. The Bobcats, who were without G-Force Gerald Wallace and any real sense of hope for now or the future, were led by Jason Richardson with 25. Their bench, much like my mojo Freshman year of college, was non-existant.
We'll Spot You 15, Cool?: The Sixers went on a 15-0 run in the first quarter. They led 32-14. Then Josh Smith did the happy dance all over their mothers. Smith had 9 blocks to go with 19 points and 9 assists to carry the Hawks (Ka-kaw!) to a 96-91 win. Andre Miller led the Sixers with 29 points and 4 turnovers. The Hawks celebrated with a bitchin' Pizza Hut party that Josh Childress' mom threw afterwords. Only, not at all.
These Things Will Not Shock You: The Heat, Knicks, Timberwolves, and Sonics all lost to middle of the road teams. Which is easy when you're a "left of the road, drowning in your own feces in the gutter" team.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
THE NICKELODEON: NENE AND HIS PORNO HONEY
Apparently back in April, A.I., 'Melo, and Nene were hitting the town after a victory over the Lakers. I'm not exactly sure what it is that they were saying to each other since I am white and not cool, but I do know that they sure like the N-word a lot. Probably NSFW, but what are you doing at work today anyway?
Shit's goin' down ... after the jump.
(Credit You Been Blinded for the find.)
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