by DCScrap, on 205th magazine
I KNEW that guy won the race. Now everyone that claims that Phelps beat that German guy in the 100 Freestyle will have to eat their words.
H/T: Gorilla Mask
Showing posts with label Olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Olympics. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
FINALLY, CONCRETE PROOF THE GERMAN DUDE BEAT PHELPS
Monday, August 25, 2008
TRUMPING THE CLOSING CEREMONIES
by Mr. E, Staff Writer
Bounce, bounce, giggle, giggle. Repeat.
Mr. E: Embracing Web 2.0 since...well, this past week.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
TOP 10 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL THE OLYMPICS ARE ENDING
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. You don't need to make small talk with the cube-mates who think that since you watch sports, you have to have an opinion on gymnastics
9. The moratorium on hating Coach K, Kobe Bryant and Jason Kidd is over
8. The US female beach volleyball team can now go have kids and give the rest of the world hope
7. Everyone can forget about Tibet for a few more years
6. The world can take some time to better perfect carbon dating of athletes
5. Men and women can feel free to run through the streets with torches again
4. Now that China has had its moment in the sun, they'll stop oppressing their people
3. Michael Phelps can get around to rampant whoring, both on a commercial and personal basis
2. You can finally devote your full attention to preseason football, games 120 through 130 of the MLB season, and the rest of your jam-packed August sports calendar
1. We can stop hearing about how wonderful it is to watch second and third-tier sports played by people wearing flags
Saturday, August 23, 2008
WANT A GIRLFRIEND WITH FLEXIBILITY? TRY A RHYTHMIC GYMNAST
by Simon, SimonOnSports
Meet Yevgenia Kanayeva (or Evgenia Kanaeva) she's your 2008 Rythmic Gymnastics gold medalist, and she can put her legs wherever you want them...
Check Out More Pics after the break
And to spread out the love a little bit here are Inna Zhukova and Anna Bessonova your 2008 Silver and Bronze Medalists respectively. They can put their legs wherever you want them as well...
Well that certainly gets your imagination going...
Friday, August 22, 2008
TYSON GAY AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD OLYMPICS
by Chris Richardson, Intentional Foul
It was supposed to be a coming out party for Tyson Gay. It was an opportunity to compete for the "World's Fastest Man" title. Gay arrived on the Olympic scene with so much promise after smoking Asafa Powell in Japan. The hype was briefly lowered after he was surprisingly beaten by an unknown Insane Bolt in May, which, incidentally, was the same race Bolt broke the world record for the first time.
In June, however, Gay ran a wind-aided 9.68, which signified to many he was ready to challenge Bolt on the world stage and help lead the American sprinters back to glory.
Then the hamstring trouble started.
About a month before Beijing, Gay hurt his hamstring -- one of the most important muscles to sprinters -- while trying to qualify for the 200. Right then, the omen of a potentially disastrous Olympics for Gay should have been recognized. However, Gay addressed these fears by saying his hammy was 100% -- obviously not the case after watching Gay fail to even qualify for the 100-meter final.
From that point on, it's been all Usain Bolt. All the adulation and recognition went to the Jamaican sprinter with the mega-watt personality and rightfully so. When you do things on the track that hasn't been done since names like Carl Lewis and Jesse Owens, you deserve all the attention you get.
Sadly, this could've been Tyson Gay. In fact, to some, it was supposed to be.
Gay had one more shot at some Olympic redemption with the 4x100 meter relay, but after dropping the baton in the qualifying round, he, once again, was denied an opportunity to even medal. What was supposed to be a coming out party turned into a funeral wake.
Now, I'm not saying a healthy Gay would or could beat Bolt at these Olympics. I just wish he had the opportunity to try. The sprinter who is capable of running like this (wind or no):
Is capable of at least giving Bolt a race and if Gay didn't win gold, silver ain't too bad -- especially when that makes you the second fastest person in the world.
Could the American 4x1 relay team beat the Jamaican World Record-breaking team from this morning? Who knows, but it would've been nice to see Gay and company get the opportunity to see for themselves.
As for Gay, he turned 26 at the beginning of August, meaning he probably won't get another chance at individual Olympic gold after Beijing. He might get another shot at the 4x100 in 2012, but it's doubtful he'll be running the anchor. Also, it's important to remember Usain Bolt will be 26 in 2012, which puts him directly in his prime, so who knows what kind of times he'll be posting by then.
No, for Lexington, Kentucky native, the Olympic Games are a failure and that, my friends, is one of the sadder stories to come out of Beijing. Yes, he'll get some redemption shots at various future meets, but they certainly won't have the same kind of luster as the Olympics, even if it's a Bolt-versus-a-healthy-Gay situation.
Sometimes, even all the natural talent in the world isn't enough. Luck and health play as big of a part and if you don't believe me, just ask Tyson Gay.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
WITHOUT CNN, WE WOULD NEVER KNOW WHEN MICHAEL PHELPS WAS BEING INSULTED
by T, The Angry T
Thank god for CNN. I have no clue what I would do with out your hard-hitting brand of in your face journalism. Thank you, from the bottom of my taint, for throwing these three idiots on the television to unilaterally defend Michael Phelps. Listen to that first douche gush over Phelps, "He is a 10 across the board." You sir are a 10 on the scale of one to irrelevant, and I would know, I am a nine.
Talk about fair and balanced. Couldn't they throw one chick who thought that Phelps looks like a mongoloid on the panel? Instead, the three little douches go back and forth talking about how great Phelps is and how big of a whore Amanda Beard is. I don't even like Amanda Beard and I come away from this interview feeling sorry for her. That is until I have to hear her pathetic back stepping about how she is truly sorry for her comments. Who gives a shit Amanda? You said you wouldn't make out with Michael Phelps. Does everyone have to fellate this guy to be considered an American citizen these days. I though this was American people. I hear immigrants no longer have to pass a naturalization test, they simply have to put one piece of the Phelps apparatus, (one of the balls or the wiener) in their mouth, and they are automatically granted a green card.
I had no idea Tiger Beat was now running CNN. If Tiger Beat is calling the shots over at CNN, I would love to see some more Joey Lawrence, or Jonathon Brandis shots. Too soon?
WHAT NBC DIDN'T SHOW YOU...
by Mr. E, Staff Writer
Yea, yea. Volleyball... Undefeated... Gold Medal... Blah blah blah.
But what about all of the action that went on during the timeouts? Why must we see arms getting massaged, rain pouring down and towels wiping faces when there is action aside from the action? Why can't the major networks throw us a bone and perhaps reward us a bit for waiting until 11:50 PM to watch the conclusion of an Olympic event? Is that too much to ask?
Thank the Man Upstairs for Getty Images. Oh, and I guess we can thank China as well. Until this summer, I thought I was the only one who envisioned sand volleyball cheerleaders. Booming economy aside. This one was groundbreaking. No wonder they're considered to be an "emerging" market...
USAIN BOLT=INSANE
by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog
Unless you've been living in a hut in Kenya, much like Barack Obama's brother, you know that Usain Bolt obliterated the world records in the 100 and 200 m dashes, with times of 9.69 and 19.32 respectively. I was no math major at UNH, but let's put these numbers in perspective:
Doing a little metric conversion, we find that 1 mile is equal to 1609 meters. That means if Bolt kept the same pace over a full mile, he would finish it in just under 2 minutes and 36 seconds. Since that mean's it takes him 156 seconds to run one mile, we just figured out how many miles he could do in an hour at the same rate. For his 100m time of 9.69, this averages out to 23.07 MPH. Seriously, this is absolutely insane that a human being can average 23.07 MPH for 100 meters. As he was crossing the finish line, Bolt decided to look for his competitors which were left in the dust.
Just for your knowledge Bolt ran the 200 meter race at a faster clip then the 100 meter race. He ended up averaging a MPH of 23.15 MPH in the 200 meter race according to my calculations. Not too shabby.
Do you see these numbers Scott Pioli? I think Tom Brady needs a new Wide Receiver to play the other flanker position and Mr. Bolt is a great option. He even has a great wingspan which was seen as he was crossing the finish line. The next project for me will be to measure Bolt's wingspan.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
TOP 10 NEXT CAREER MOVES FOR MICHAEL PHELPS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. A dramatic amount of poon, followed by a long slow slide into significantly less poon
9. Crank calling Mark Spitz in the middle of the night while giggling
8. Dramatically ineffective ads for sponsors that don't call back
7. Hundreds, if not thousands of casual acquaintances flocking to be his wingmen
6. Voting for himself in a lot of polls as to whether he's the best American athlete ever
5. Failing to live up to expectations in 2012 London Games, no matter what he does
4. Gaining an awful lot of weight the moment he stops training, since he eats like some kind of old school Pac Man
3. Becoming increasingly bitter over the lack of a professional swimming league or traveling road show
2. Counting and polishing gold medals and weeping
1. Fifty to sixty years of slow decay and fade until his obituary, which you can more or less write now
Monday, August 18, 2008
THIS TRAMP MAKES MY COCKBURN
by Mr. E, Staff Writer
With all of this focus on swimming and the women's gymnastics team, it has been a bit difficult to catch any action of other Olympic events. But with these two areas of focus nearing end, we can now turn our attention to other games of the Olympiad. And unbeknownst to me, there is another element to the gymnastics portion of the games: the trampoline.
Yes, the trampoline. A "sport" that nearly all of us can relate to. Lets face it, few of us are vaulting and beaming these days. And there are few things better than getting sauced up and trying to wreck your friends into the springs. A nice big game of "Lets see how many people we can get on this thing before all hell breaks loose." If you are truly skilled, they'll skip the springs and go straight to the four-foot plummet to the grass/water/whatever. Good times had by all.
However, something that few us may be able to relate to are some of the "bigger" names within the event. Allow me to present you with China's Dong Dong and Canada's Karen Cockburn.
And while I have your attention, it should be noted that while one would assume her name is pronounced phonetically, the "cock" is actually pronounced "Koe," which just had to have been changed somewhere along the family lines. I imagine that it will not be all too long before the spelling gets altered as well, as I can't imagine too many guys or girls looking to pursue cockburn through their adolescence.
Unfortunately, Dong has not been as decorated (see what I did there?) as Cockburn. Cockburn has one several World Championships as well as World Cups on the Trampoline. Now, she can add an Olympic medal to the list - her second in the last two Olympic games. Believe it or not, her hobbies include "athlete," and her first sport was actually diving. She is married, which means that there could be several more Cockburns in the future.
My only hope is that there are more Dong's as well. This way, we can have more headlines like the following:
Sunday, August 17, 2008
NASTIA HAS SOME TALENT
by Simon, SimonOnSports
She has an Olympic Medal, is attractive, can do that, and is 18, what's not to like. Oh and did I mention she could do that?
SHUT UP DAVEY
by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog
Davey Johnson who is serving as the United States manager in the 2008 Olympic Baseball tournament has accused Cuban pitcher Pedro Lazo of throwing at the head of Jayson Nix in the 11th inning. There was runners on second and first as is accustomed in the 11th inning of an international baseball tourney with Nix up to bat. When Nix squared around to lay down the bunt, the ball deflected off his bat hitting him in the forehead. Nix went down immediately and had to be helped off the field and rushed to a local hospital. The USA ended up failing to come up with a hit in the inning thus losing the game 5-4.
Davey Johnson after the game started to say that Lazo was throwing at Jayson Nix's head when it was pretty clear that the ball was nowhere near his head and it was actually Nix who ended up hitting himself in the head with the ball. I have been able to secure some video of the incident in question and you can make judgment on it for yourself. It can be watched by clicking here.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
PEYTON MANNING CANNOT BE SERIOUS: FOOTBALL IN THE OLYMPICS
by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field
Life is full of ironies. Peyton Manning, as evidenced below, is trying to become a viral video star like the Raptors' Chris Bosh.
He'd also like to win an Olympic gold medal, which is what Bosh would like to do in the next few days (nice job by Team USA vs. Spain). The funny thing about that -- most Raptors fans would prefer Bosh emulated Manning -- you know, lose the stigma that he can't get it done in the playoffs.
"You may say that many countries don't play football, but that makes it more easier, then."
Careful, Peyton. You're going to tick off all the Greco-Roman wrestlers, curlers and women's hockey players.
Father Archie Manning also gets in on the act, after the jump.
From the Sad But True files, someone somewhere -- quite possibly in Canada -- will see this and go into full-on fulminations about Ugly Americans, so-called, who don't get that the (cue the music) Olympic message. It's supposed to be about the universal appeal of sport, about brotherhood and sisterhood, about broadening your horizons and gaining an understanding of the other guy's culture. It's not just about piling up medals. Certainly,no one in Canada has been obsessing over medals for the last week
(And look at that, Canada got three medals today. See, self-flagellation can have a positive effect.)
Friday, August 15, 2008
MICHAEL PHELPS RENDERS YOUR LIFE ONE BIG EASY BUTTON
by Jarrett Carter, Stet Sports Blog
The next time you feel like life is too hard, that you can't accomplish your heart's inner most desires, Google Michael Phelps and shut the f*ck up.
We got a sense of it from Kevin Garnett earlier this summer, but this kid Phelps just puts everyone to shame. He not only is making the feat of eight gold medals in one Olympics possible, but easy.
Easy enough to make everybody else's dreams look at least half-way feasible, if we are strong enough to man up and stop crying about it.
Talk to that woman. Apply for that new job. Curse out that kid of yours and tell them you ain't taking no sh*t anymore. Write that book. It doesn't matter, because whatever it is you are pump faking on, it certainly isn't as hard as meeting the expectations of billions of people. And if you find you're the only one interested in what you're trying to do, is it really worth doing?
What Michael Phelps is doing is one of the most incredible feats of physical and mental strength we've ever seen in organized sports. The least you can do, after you finish watching him, is get off of your ass and make it happen for yourself.
MICHAEL PHELPS, YOU ARE RIDICULOUS
by DCScrap, on 205th magazine
I just thought it would be remiss of us to not say something about the amazing performances of Michael Phelps at this year's Olympics. Phelps easily won his sixth gold medal of Olympics in the 200-meter individual medley this morning and is two wins from breaking Mark Spitz's 36-year-old record for gold medals in one Olympics. He now has 12 gold medals, the most for any Olympian... ever. He now has just one individual race remaining in Beijing: the 100 fly on Saturday, and the 400-meter medley relay on Sunday. He is favored in the 400, but in the 100 fly he will have to face world record holder and teammate, Ian Crocker. No matter what happens, he has secured his rightful place in athletic history. Well, done, sir.
Source
DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY GAMBLE ON GYMNASTICS?
by The Sports Diva, TSD Magazine
I watched the Women's Individual All-Around Gymnastics Final and screamed YAY instead of FIXED as US gymnast Nastia Liukin came away with the gold medal and Shawn Johnson was right behind her with the silver. Then I just had to see what everyone was saying. And I found this article: Why So Few Sites Offering Odds On Olympics Women's Gymnastics? Do people really gamble on gymnastics? Am I being naive here?
Anyway, if you are a gymnastics betting man you would know that Shawn Johnson was the favorite. Followed by Yang Yilin and then Nastia Lukin. Now I've never done any betting myself so I really couldn't tell you what any of it all means. What I can say is this. Next time, just put your money away. I do not feel like hearing on CNN that someone bet on a gymnast who was suppose to win and she fell and then that someone kidnaps said gymnast and there's a high-speed chase. It will only end badly. So please, for the sake of my television, just put your money away.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
THE OLYMPICS ARE GREAT FOR PEDOPHILES LIKE ME
by Sterling Gould, Staff Writer
Okay, so maybe I'm not as dedicated in the pedophile ways like alot of other dudes (those guys are behind bars), but I've been having fun watching Alicia Sacramone (more when she's standing vertically, not falling on her ass), Nastia Luikin (ooh mama), and Shawn Johnson (still lookin' young, maybe in a few years).
What's your point Gould? You're google-eyeing a bunch of tiny girls bouncing around in tight leotards competing against "little babies" (aww hell no he di'unt!). God... I love hot, athletic girls.
Oh, and Myspace. Because only on Myspace can you find personal photos like the one seen above. (Even candid photos of me! So sexy!)
TOP 12 UPCOMING SUMMER GAMES SCANDALS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
12. Javelin, shot put and hammer throw contestants to all get the same null score when projectiles hit the "air"
11. That wrestler that refused the bronze medal isn't going to get a WWE contract
10. The French team doesn't actually know how to swim, and has just been using cleverly concealed engines in the armpits and groin
9. Multiple distance runners will sneak across the infield in the middle of races, under the theory that no one will be able to see them through the pollution anyway
8. That super-cringe inducing Weightlifter injury was ordered by NBC to boost the ratings for its Web sites
7. American NBA players now actually trying, which is, like, totally unfair
6. All of the events were actually completed a year ago
5. The little girl that was pretending to sing has already been sold into slavery for dishonoring the country
4. Bob Barr, Ralph Nader and Hilary Clinton to allege the NBC won't sell them ad time for their presidential campaigns on the telecasts
3. Not every Tibetan resident and Chinese dissident is a principled non-violent innocent
2. All of the gymnasts are underaged, forcibly anorexic, and startlingly uninspiring between the sheets
1. Some female athletes, despite what you have been led to believe by the sports blogosphere, are not good for masturbation
ABOUT THESE CELEBRATIONS...
by Mr. E, Staff Writer
The Olympics. The greatest stage for national competition. The best athletes in the world. Once every four years. Millions of eyes on every move.
And even more eyes on the photographically collected evidence of how said athletes celebrate their victories...
David Klemperer (R) and Eric Koreng of Germany celebrate after winning their men's lucky loser beach volleyball match against the Netherlands at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games August 14, 2008. REUTERS/Carlos Barria (CHINA)
Just imagine if it was a medal round. Not that there's anything wrong with it...
7 comment(s):
Post a Comment