by The Sports Diva, TSD Magazine
What happened to Med school? I distinctly remember him saying that if the NFL didn't pan out (not even as a backup Bengals?), med school it was. So what's up with the new gig at 1460 the fan?
Craig Krenzel, the national championship QB for The Ohio State Buckeyes, has a new job outside of the world of medicine. He has joined 1460 The Fan, the AM sports radio ESPN affiliated station. He will co-host The Mid-Day Show, fill in from time to time on The Big Show along side Bruce Hooley, Chris Spielman, and Kirk Herbstreit, and host the OSU Roundtable during football season.
Not sure if that Molecular Genetics degree prepared him for all of this but we'll be listening. Maybe he can throw some big words around from time to time. Have to put that degree to use somehow.
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by WCT, The Ship of Fools
If you are like me, and have lived through several Super Sundays in your day, then you go into the day pretty much knowing exactly what to expect. So far, nothing that has happend in Super Bowl Week that has been any different than any of the last 15 or 20 Super Bowl Weeks, which gives me reason to believe that I can pretty much predict how Sunday will go, and be dead-on.
So consider this your little handy guide to the Super Sunday festivities, but also take this as a spoiler alert! Everything that I am about to describe will happen on Sunday, so if you want to be surprised, please do not read on. We'll check back to see how we did on Monday.
The pregame coverage will be interminable - Honestly, I'm not joking here: "Fox Super Sunday"-- which, as best as I can tell from the description, is a show that will somehow relate football to politics-- begins the Super Bowl related shows at 10:00 am eastern! That is more that 8 hours of pregame programming! The Fox NFL Sunday show will begin at 2:00 pm and go right up to kickoff. Give Terry Bradshaw and the rest of those idiots one hour and 14 games to talk about, and its a train-wreck. How the hell are they going fill four hours talking about only one game? If there is a "red carpet" show with Ryan Seacrest, or if the crew of the "Best Damn Sports Show Period" make an appearance, I am seriously going to vomit.
The announcers will talk way too much about Tom Brady's ankle - I have already heard enough about his ankle to make me sick to my stomach, and its only Friday. As just outlined, the networks have several hours of Sunday pregame airtime to fill (and God knows 90% of the time they aren't very insightful or original), so they will take the nugget that TMZ.com gave them when the blog posted that photo of him in the boot, and run like hell with it. Every one of Tom Brady's dropbacks will be analyzed, every step will be scrutinized, every bad throw will be questioned and attributed to his bad ankle. Its going to be awful.
The man is fine. His ankle is fine. And if he can sprain his ankle, throw three interceptions, have the worst playoff game of his life, and they can still win comfortably by two scores, then maybe we should start to give some of Brady's teammates some credit, and not lazily proclaim that the success or failure of a team rests on the status of one player's sprained ankle.
The commercials are going to be disappointing - The days of the Super Bowl being the best day for advertisments has long past. Not only are the commercials likely not going to be funny, but unless there is another ad featuring two guys kissing, They probably won't even be noteworthy.
There will be some car ads, there will be some Bud and Bud Light ads that may give you a smile and a chuckle, but the days of the Super Bowl ads being the talk around the water cooler the next day are over.
The halftime show is going to be awkward - Maybe I'm biased because I hate halftime shows, but I'm thinking this one is going to be eight different kinds of terrible. Its going to feature a 57 year-old man, who hasn't been relevant in years (I'm sorry if you are a Tom Petty fan, but its true) dancing and singing on stage and singing 20 year-old songs, while tens of thousands of teenagers, who probably have no earthly idea who Tom Petty is, dance around on the field like they are having the time of their lives. Do they think we don't all know those kids are being paid to bop around and waive their glo-sticks? Do they think we don't know that they have been given the lyrics to "Runnin' Down a Dream" ahead of time so that they can lip-synch? How dumb do they think we are?
It will be a good game - Because Super Bowls usually are, the Giants are playing really good football right now, and the Patriots haven't covered a spread in what seems like ages. The Giants have been playing with a lot of confidence since the week 16 win at Buffalo, and it has carried them through the playoffs.
Don't get me wrong, the Patriots will likely win, but this blogger thinks it will be a close game.
Monday is going to SUCK! - I envy those of you that are unemployable. I don't think there is a less productive day on the American economic calendar than the Monday after the Super Bowl. Everyone gets in late, everyone is hung over, and all anyone does at work is talk about the previous nights game. Would anyone be against making that day an unofficial holiday?
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Generally speaking, I hate the sports media. I am of the opinion that most of them are douchebags. They pull stuff out of their asses, make up stories where there are none, and generally annoy the viewing/reading public almost as much as they report actual news. Keep in mind, all of that nonsense takes place when there is actual news to report. Saddle this same sports media with two weeks without meaningful sports (No! the Australian Open is not meaningful! Save your comments!) to write about, and we get the kind of crap which we have already seen this week:
Brady's Boot - Or as it has been annoyingly been called "boot-gate."
(Just a quick aside, is anyone else as irked as I am by people lazily referring to any sort of scandal with the stupid "-gate" suffix?)
So it has been an entire work week, and people are still talking about a stupid photo on a celebrity gossip blog that showed Tom Brady in a walking boot. It is a walking boot. He wasn't in a cast, or on crutches. Philip Rivers had a goddam knee operation the Monday before playing in the game last week, and people are getting their panties in a bunch over a walking boot 12 days before the Super Bowl.
As if that weren't enough, ESPN began running photos of Brady and Gisele walking down the street later that same day, and Tom had evidently switched over to regular shoes. So "TOM BRADY BACK TO WEARING SHOES" became the headline.
To be honest, this week I heard enough of Wendi Nix reporting on the state of Tom Brady's footwear to last me a lifetime, thank you very much.
That stupid, nonsensical mock-umentary about Tom Brady and the "Brady Bunch" TV show - Or something. I still haven't figured out where they were going with that.
Were they saying that he was an child actor on the show? Because, that would make him like 45 years old. And it would make the fact that his last name actually is "Brady," irrelevant.
Were they saying that he was actually the fourth Brady brother? Again, that makes him in his mid 40s, and...ESPN knows that was a TV show...Right? I mean, they know that none of those other guys were actually named "Brady," right
Rest assured that when you turn on NFL Countdown, or SportsCenter and see a convoluted, unfunny bit from seven years ago, about a TV program from 30 years ago, you are in the first week of Super Bowl coverage.
Garbage from Mercury Morris - Honestly, someone put a muzzle on that guy. First he comes up with the stupid "on my block" quote a few years back when the Colts flirted with a perfect season, then he is on ESPN rapping (if you want to call this rapping) about the '72 Dolphins when the Patriots reached 12-0, then, as if that wasn't enough, this week he was on ESPN radio (take a wild guess which show) and he said that if the Patriots win the Super Bowl and go 19-0, then they would be the second greatest team of all time, behind his Dolphins of course. Full disclosure, I hate the Patriots. I cheer against them every time they take the field. But if they win on February 3rd, they would have beaten the NFL's 2nd best team (Colts, on the road), 3rd best team (Cowboys, on the road), 5th-ish best team (Chargers) twice, 6th-ish best team (Steelers) 7th best team (Jaguars) and 8th-ish best team (Giants, on the road and on a neutral field) twice. They also beat a 10-win team that just missed the playoffs (Browns) and an up-and-coming 8-win team (Bills) twice. All while going 19-0. There is no question that they would be the best team of all time by virtually any conceivable measure.
This is the crap that the normally quasi-tolerable sports media outlets have been forced to shove down our collective throats thanks to their lack of creativity, and the sports landscape's lack of games. I don't know why this surprises me, because the same thing happens at the exact same time every single year. We should be used to it by now, right?
I didn't think I'd ever say these words, but is it time for that NHL All Star Game yet??
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by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. The whole world is watching -- not really. That's soccer, sadly. Most of the world has seen American football, and having not grown up with it, think it's quaint and/or pointless (i.e., the same way we think about soccer)
9. The ads are special and interesting and you have to watch them... unless you go online, or watch sports for the rest of the year
8. Teams win or lose the game depending on how they handle the hype... because hype causes turnovers
7. Wacky Questions on Media Day are sure entertaining... if you're 12, and/or don't remember the previous decade's worth of Wacky Questions
6. Real fans go to this game and spend thousands of dollars... assuming your definition of a real fan is a c-level executive with an expense budget. (Your average Real Fan, when confronted with this decision, would rather spring for a big-screen TV.)
5. Greatness is measured and eternally conferred on a coach and quarterback that win one... and in other news, Trent Dilfer and Brian Billick are available to show you their rings at your wedding, corporate event, bar mitzvah or birthday party
4. The game is in a warm-weather or indoor site so that the outcome won't be affected by the weather... and not, of course, for the benefit of the c-level execs who would not put up with chill factors or cold-weather prostitutes
3. Simultaneous toilet flushing causes massive sewer problems all over the world... and yet, that story is never reported on the next day
2. Many people bet those freaky prop bets, because no sane person can possibly withstand the temptation to go huge on the coin flip, or which WR Tom Brady will go to first
1. Every viewer will, by kickoff, have a clear choice of who to root for (Jets Fan and Eagles Fan are both rooting for Bruce Dern to show up in a blimp)
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by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
The recent strike by the television writers union has already shut down late night television talk shows, as well as production on scripted dramas. How could the work stoppage affect this week's NFL coverage?
20. Taped pre-game features on Fox replaced by Terry Bradshaw concert on the ol' banjo
19. Kenny Mayne's "Mayne Event" comedy segment on ESPN now consists of his hilarious outtakes from auto insurance commercials
18. Frank Caliendo's pre-game game predictions are now done with a dartboard, blindfold and drum roll while chuckling in the laughs of his various characters
17. "Game Break" and halftime highlight video narration reduced to "On this play, there was a touchdown" for all clips
16. Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the NFL" segment changed to "Worst Person in the Technical Crew"
15. Chris Berman's dated referential nicknames dramatically changed to gangsta rap songs and porn star names
14. Shannon Sharpe now erudite, humble, and with perfect grammar
13. Chris Mortensen just recycling rumors from earlier in the year, and changing the name of "Michael Vick" to some practice squad guys that no one has heard of
12. Dan Marino's cold, dead glare at the empty teleprompter will haunt your dreams and become an instant YouTube classic
11. MNF "Pardon the Interruption" segment still without pardon, now also without interruption
10. Sideline reporters will actually ask questions
8. "Walking around the fake playing field" segment replaced by spirited game of two hand touch
7. NBC uses "Flex" schedule plan to put games on every night of the week
6. MNF booth now has a full game worth of celebrity pop-ins
5. John Madden's commentary starts to sound suspiciously like the video game
4. Phil Simms forgets to speak with a redneck accent
3. Emmitt Smith starts to make sense
2. Cris Collinsworth no longer looks smarter than anyone else
1. Longer segments of forced and soul-crushingly fake laughter
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The world's fastest run-walker versus a samurai. Who wins? Find out. (The Blog of Hilarity)
One thing is clear: right now, there is no better team in baseball to be a fan of than the Boston Red Sox. (Fair and Foul)
A blogger interviews Erin Andrews. Yeah, that's right. (One More Dying Quail)
A list of 10 vehicles that should replace the cart as the mode for taking injured players off the field. (The Angry T)
Is the Patriots running up of the score bad for the NFL? (Cobra Brigade)
Charlie Monfort still thinks his team, the Rockies, is better than the Red Sox. No joke. (The FanHouse)
Here's a wild thought for the people with the microphones: if A-Rod's Disrespect of the World Series bothers them so much, don't cover it. (Five Tool Tool)
Want to win 10 more free tacos? Here's your chance!! (ArmchairGM)
Tim Marchman makes a pretty sufficient case to the contrary of all the A-Rod/Boras bashers. (We are the Postmen)
Actor John Cusack called the Dolphins-Giants game for the BBC yesterday. Seriously, he did. (Awful Announcing)
Jennifer Ellison in perhaps the greatest photos ever. (Hollywood Tuna)
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A soccer mom smashed a 68-year-old coach's face with a metal folding-chair in WWE-like fashion earlier this week. (The Beautiful Game)
Journalism 100 takes us through three reasons why some in the media could use a good beating. (CBS Sports)
Despite his financial woes, Michael Vick has somehow bought a pricey house in South Beach. (SPORTSbyBROOKS)
A rational look at the NCAA's reasons for changing from 1-A/1-AA to FBS/FCS. (The Extrapolater)
Jesus called and had a few things to say to the Colorado Rockies. (The Grand National Championships)
Some guy is willing to trade 25 years worth of Playboy magazines for some Series ducats. (Sportscolumn Blog)
Ryan Speier missed the class where they teach how to throw strikes. (Simon On Sports)
Commissioner Bud Selig has not ruled out suspending players who might have violated United States law. (Signal to Noise)
NBA predictions using a corresponding 80’s Hair Metal band for each NBA team. (The Money Shot)
The Miami Dolphins spent most of this week's practices trying to answer questions like whether or not England has end zones. (The Onion)
Michelle Coppa's bikini is stretchy. (Hollywood Tuna)
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by Sooze, Babes Love Baseball
Kansas City Royals outfielder/dead eye Emil Brown did what every big leaguer has always wanted to do during pregame interviews filled with stupid questions: hurt the reporters.
"It's every man for himself up in here," Brown said. "That's how it is in the clubhouse. Dodging bullets and shit, you never know what's gonna poke you in the eye."
Brown
nearly shot sports reporter Karen Kornacki's eye out with a pellet from a small plastic gun in the KC clubhouse Friday afternoon while she was interviewing shortstop Tony Pena, Jr.
She screamed like a girl and fled the stadium immediately.
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What happened to Med school? I distinctly remember him saying that if the NFL didn't pan out (not even as a backup Bengals?), med school it was. So what's up with the new gig at 1460 the fan?
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