TOP 10 THINGS THAT GOD VALUES IN TOM BRADY

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

"Look at the attention I get: It's because I throw a football. But that's what society values. That's not what God values. He didn't invent the game. We did. I have some eye-hand coordination, and I can throw the ball. I don't think that matters to God." -- Patriots QB Tom Brady in this month's Esquire

10. Brady's ability to work with sinners like his coach, his wideout, his safety and his (extremely racist and puling) fan base

9. The willingness to be fruitful and multiply with beings that are pleasing to His eye

8. His role in fulfilling the fervent prayers of so very many football fans in last year's Super Bowl

7. The way he looks in a Stetson (hey, God isn't all-seeing just for the ability to look at *ugly* things)

6. His ability in this off-season to not call down thunderbolts of karmic vengeance, unlike that Favre schmuck

5. The humility he showed when he was backing up future punchlines Brian Griese and Drew Bledsoe

4. Fumbling in a manner that made Al Davis finally realize, once and for all, that things aren't going to go well for him after death

3. Not getting all freaked out when the stigmata appear

2. The tender pity screws that he gives to Andrea Kremer, Bridget Moynahan and Peter King

1. His charming inability to realize the epic screw job that the Almighty gave him last February makes future jerking around even more fun

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SHOULD INJURY WAIVERS BE REQUIRED?

by Moondog, The World According to Moondog

If you read the latest in a laundry list of weird events involving Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terry Glenn, you would know the soap opera appears to have reached an end.

This past weekend the Cowboys announced they will release Glenn, although Dallas owner Jerry Jones denies the move had anything to do with Glenn's refusal to sign an injury waiver.

If you haven't been watching "As the Glenn Turns," here's a quick review of the last few episodes.

Last year, Glenn missed all but the final regular season game against the Redskins and the NFC Divisional round game against the Giants recovering from a knee injury.

Glenn underwent a pair of arthroscopic surgeries last year and could stand to have microfracture surgery to get his right knee back in top condition. Glenn has opted against the surgery in hopes of strengthening the knee enough to play this season.

In an effort to protect themselves, Jones asked Glenn to sign a $500,000 injury waiver in case he re-injures his knee. Glenn, at least initially, was a little miffed when asked to sign the waiver. If Glenn were to sign the waiver and suffer an unrelated injury, he would still receive his $1.74 million base salary.

Glenn publicly stated he would seek his release from the Cowboys if the issue of the injury waiver didn't get resolved. A day after making the statement, Glenn recanted.

"I want Jerry to understand that I know he has the ultimate power in everything that goes on with the Cowboys, and I'm not trying to challenge him in any way, shape or form."

Now that the Cowboys are prepared to move forward without Glenn, it got me to thinking about injury waivers.

Why haven't more NFL teams sought protection from season-ending or career-ending injuries to players?

I pondered a plan that could make the teams and players happy without threats of lock-outs or strikes. Let's set up a few hypothetical situations and implement what I believe could be a equitable solution.

In the third game of the season, Giselle's boyfriend, Tom Brady, drops back to pass during the second quarter of the Pats clash with the Jets. Brady plants his leg as he prepares to throw but lands awkardly, and he falls to the ground in a crumpled heap. There's silence in the stadium and the training staff is hovering around Brady like vultures over a fresh carcas.

Brady is taken off the field on a cart and is sent to the local hospital for X-Rays. Initially, there doesn't appear to be any structural damage to his knee, but after a few days, Brady is given an MRI that clearly shows he's torn his ACL and MCL, finishing his season.

The Patriots are forced to play the next 13 games of the regular season without their star QB and they're on the hook for the pro-rated portion of his $8 million salary. I don't believe the Pats should have to pay Brady his full salary when he's are unable to play, regardless of the reason.

I'm not suggesting Brady shouldn't be paid at all. Like any employee that is injured on the job, if you get hurt and miss work, that's where workman's compensation and AFLAC come into the equation.

But this is the NFL, where the circumstances and dollar amounts are dramatically different. Some will argue that these are the conditions of the industry and the Pats should pay the full $8 million. But why?

Brady can't play and he's not fulfilling the terms of his contract. He's not generating any revenue for the franchise by standing on the sidelines.

Here's what I suggest. Pay Brady 50% of his $8 million salary and put the remainder in escrow, allowing it to draw interest. When Brady returns the following season, the Pats will add the money sitting in escrow into the current seasons' salary. The Pats get to keep the interest as a form of compensation for losing a vital member of their team.

That might not seem like a great deal for the Pats, but the amount of interest you earn on $4 million isn't chump change. It could pay the marketing director's salary or could be put to use towards any number of fixed expenditures a franchise incurs.

Now let's take it even further. What if Brady incurs an injury that ends his career? Take the remaining years on his contract and arrive at the dollar amount in question. Again we're going to place that money in escrow and allow the Pats to earn interest.

The Pats can pay Brady over a pre-determined length of time. Let's say there's three years left on Brady's contract and he's owed $24 million. Instead of paying that over three years, the Pats could pay that over 10 years. Where else can you earn $2.4 million a year for doing nothing?

But here's the best part - allow the Pats to reduce their salary cap number equal to the amount they're paying Brady over that same 10-year period. Why should a franchise be penalized on their salary cap number for a player that can't perform?

Some might argue that this plan leads to a revenue stream for the franchises and helps them on their long-term salary cap numbers, giving them an unfair advantage. There's nothing unfair about this.

Look at it this way. If you're the Pats, would you rather take a $2.4 million deduction on your salary cap or have your star QB on the field? Quarterbacks win games and generate revenue, especially a player like Brady who is one of the top stars in the NFL.

Obviously, not everyone in the NFL makes $8 million annually. In fact, upwards of half the players on every NFL roster earn less than $1 million. That being the case, let's set the threshold for the aforementioned plan at $1 million.

Thus, any player earning $1 million or less that suffers a season-ending injury must be paid his full salary during the season.

If a player earning $1 million or less incurs a career-ending injury, he must be paid his remaining salary over a length of time not to exceed double the length of years remaining on his contract.

In other words, if there are three years remaining on his deal, he must be paid the $3 million he's owed within six years. That's still a good deal for the player considering he's earning $500,000 for doing nothing.

Franchises will continue to be allowed to reduce their salary cap number equivalent to what they're paying the injured player, but only under a career-ending scenario, not a season-ending injury.

Let's review. We're paying the players their full salaries, the franchises are being compensated financially and competitive balance is maintained. What else do you want?

Is this realistic? Probably not, but it's a viable alternative. If you have a better idea, I'm all ears.

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TOM, PLEASE RELAX

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

The only thing worse than someone on their high horse, is a guilty person on their high horse.

As I'm sure you know by now, NFL Commish Goodell finally met with New England Patriots' former, um, video employee (?) Matt Walsh this week. With the revelations that the Walsh's tapes (I refuse to use that word that begins with "S" and ends with "gate") did not contain any video of the St. Louis Rams walk-through before they faced the Patriots in the Super Bowl, Tom Brady went on the offensive, indignantly ripping the media for using this sensationalizing the scandal to sell newspapers and fill airtime.

Granted, the reporter from the Boston Herald who originally reported the existence of the Rams walk-through tape was wrong to write that without any substantiation, everyone knows that. But for Brady to act smug about the lack of a Rams tape is a little like a guy being accused of killing five people, having it proved that he killed three, and then saying "well well well, somebody owes somebody an apology!" when the other two are found to still be alive. Tom, you still cheated. We just can't prove that you cheated in that particular game (not yet anyway). There is still proof that you cheated in several other games, including an AFC Championship game for crying out loud. So Tom, if you want to get pissed at someone, get pissed at your cheating coaching staff. Don't act high and mighty as if the media owes your team an apology.

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GIVE THE GIANTS CREDIT

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

I am a Boston type guy but GIVE THE GIANTS CREDIT!

The Giants were the better team on the field, on the sidelines, and every other possible facet. The Giants coaches had a better gameplan as they were able to get to Brady anytime they wanted while screwing around with the Patriots offense. Plaxico made the play while the Patriots secondary was nowhere near him. The Giants saw the opening and took advantage of it.

Can we now say the Monkey is off of Coughlin's back now? The guy coached this team through three tough road games and then beat a perfect New England team in the Super Bowl. He coached his players up as noone on the Giants team had more talent then a Patriots player. I am not being a homer there but lets be honest. Do you take Plaxico over Randy Moss? Brady or Eli? I think you will take most of the Patriots players over Giants.

Congrats to Tom Coughlin on a great season!

PS: My MVP was the entire Giants defense.

Question: Where did Coughlin, Kiwanuka, and Snee get their starts?

ANSWER: BOSTON COLLEGE

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FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: REAL-LIFE CUSH LASH

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

Remember in Jerry Maguire when, the night before draft, prized prospect and first overall lock Frank Cushman responded to his little brother pointing out yet picture of Cush on the big screen in Times Square that he was suffering from "Cush-lash" and all he wanted to do was play football? You remember that right? Cush was The Fat Kid from Stand By Me? The lucky prick who is now somehow married to Rebecca Romijn?

Well, it's just shy of 60 hours until kickoff and I'm here to tell you I've got Cush Lash courtesy of Tom Brady. I suppose the more correct statement is that I have Brady-lash courtesy of the media, but either way, you must know what I mean.

Everywhere I turn, they're talking Tommy Boy. In fact, they've been talking Tommy Boy all season long, but that was fine, as there were a bunch of other stories besides Tom Brady. Now that we're down to the last two teams and Tommy Boy is the poster child for the favourites (if not the whole league), it's Non-Stop Tom Tom and I think I'm going to be sick.

I'm convinced that in the next couple of days leading up to kickoff, at one point I'll be sitting watching something on TSN and it'll be interrupted for a Special Report that tells me Tom Brady has a 1/8 inch hangnail on the pinky finger of his non-throwing hand. Then, 47 talking head will begin to dissect what this means for the Patriots and their chances on Sunday.

It's like this past summer when a shot of Brady was snapped with him sporting a Yankees cap. The whole of the Greater New England Area went absolutely batshit crazy that their beloved Tommy would wear anything but a Sox hat...

And if All Tom, All The Time hasn't been a crappy enough display by the MSM, don't forget about the furor raised when Plaxico Burress stated that he thought his team would win. Imagine, a guy believing in himself and his teammates. The real story would have been if someone asked Plaxico what he thought the final score would be and he said "47-24 Patriots."

Thankfully, I live in the frozen white northern wasteland known as Canada, which means that my sports channels have hockey to obsess over right now, so my Tom-lash has a good chance of easing a little bit over the next couple of days. Sure, it'll flare up on Sunday, but after that, I've got a solid six months to kick back and only hear about him once every couple of weeks, like the next time he knocks up one mega-hottie but decides to leave her for an uber-hottie instead...

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THROWING KNIVES: ALMOST LOST A TV AND ALL-STAR STUFF

by BD, Staff Writer

I'll be honest I've got nothing to big (not that I usually do) or interesting to talk about today. That is, you know, unless you want to talk about how I almost threw a remote at my television yesterday morning. A television that I spent a mighty chunk on last December and would have been really pissed about breaking. Seeing as warranties don't cover intentional flying projectiles. Not that I know of anyhow. Yeah sure let's start with that, briefly though.

I sat down yesterday morning as I do every morning after work and quickly began hurling expletives at my picture box. For only one reason of course. That reason? The "BREAKING NEWS" that scrolled across the bottom of the screen at the 4-letter network. It read something to the effect of "Tom Brady seen limping outside his house." Wait... really people? After all the whining and so on the 4-letter folks did about Arod's stripper bit because he shouldn't be followed like that, we now have this. I wanted to stab my cat. And I really like my cat. Am I the only person who just doesn't give a shit? I know they need something to talk about, but the whole foot issue's been beaten to death by now, don't you think? I'm sure many NY reporters were disappointed when they didn't catch a man quickly exiting Eli's house that same morning. Now onto the subject...

At the end of last week I put together my NBA All-Star starting lineups real quick. Well, I've decided to exorcise my mulligan clause (your right, I don't even have a contract). To be honest though I may put together the starters exactly the same. I'm too lazy to look at exactly what I had last week. Today though I'll also tack on my reserves. Decided I should go-ahead and get this done before the official list comes out. That is, after they snub Joe Johnson and Gerald Wallace. The latter being far more understandable. Given his team.

Keep in mind the below is based mostly on statistics. Though, those on abhorrently bad teams will be penalized (i.e. Wade won't make this ballot).

Western Conference (Actual Starter*)

Starters
PG - Chris Paul
You absolutely cannot argue with either he or Nash here. I'll take Paul as working with far less in New Orleans.
SG - Kobe Bryant*
Having another good year averaging 28 PPG.
SF - Carmelo Anthony*
Nice to see his first appearance will come in the starting lineup. His 25.5 PPG backs up the fan vote.
PF - Carlos Boozer
I hate Boozer because he was a Dukie, but you can't argue with 22.5 and 11 boards a night.
C - Amare Stoudamire
His attitude pisses me off, but because Kaman's team falls into the aforementioned category he gets the nod.

Reserves
G - Steve Nash
Easy.
G - Brandon Roy
I really think he HAS to be there. He's the biggest reason for the Blazers quick rise off the doormat.
F - Tim Duncan*
Easy, I just felt like Boozer should start.
F - Dirk Nowitzki
You almost have to put him on. But for me it was close.
C - Yao Ming*
I really want to toss in Tyson Chandler (and Camby) here, but the difference are just too big between he and Yao.
WC - Baron Davis
The force that drives Golden State and his numbers are sick on top of it (20 PPG, 8+ AST and almost 5 boards).
WC - Allen Iverson*
He barely edges out Deron Williams here. They're virtually even in every stat across the boars but one: points. And the gap is sizable. Thus, AI gets the edge.

Out West it turns out the fans got five deserving guys into the game. That's certainly not the case on the other side.

Eastern Conference (Actual Starter*)

Starters
PG - Chauncey Billups
You can't really argue with this. He's the catalyst for one of the East's top teams and he leads all PG's in scoring while placing 4th in assists.
SG - Joe Johnson
His team's in the playoffs (for now) and though Rip is stiff competition JJ get's the nod and his first all-star trip.
SF - LeBron James*
Yeah, can't argue even a little.
PF - Kevin Garnett*
This one you can argue a little, but the close competitors are are worse and far worse teams.
C - Dwight Howard*
No contest.

Reserves
G - Richard Hamilton
The picture of consistency with a sweet midrange jumper.
G - Caron Butler
While not actually a guard he can play it and the forward slot is jam packed.
F - Antwan Jamison
Getting the job done at both ends and holding onto the ball as well as anyone (1.7 TO)
F - Paul Pierce
You just can't argue with 20-5-5, but I still think he's the weak link in Boston's Three-party.
C - Chris Bosh
He's listed as F/C at Yahoo! so it works. Otherwise someone else has to go as he should be a lock.
WC - Gerald Wallace
He does absolutely everything. His team's not good, but their 2 games out of 8th place and I wouldn't lump them in with Miami and New York.
WC - Josh Smith
Absolutely fills up the stats sheet like Wallace. That gives him the slightest of edges over Hedo Turkoglu.

Their are some obvious snubs here and moving Butler to guard is a tough sell, but Kidd was the only other guard close and as he's quit on his team he doesn't deserve to be there.

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THROWING KNIVES: A FEW THOUGHTS...

by BD, Staff Writer

What better way to start than with this whole Tom Brady boot situation? It's amusing to me that the biggest story of the week was whether or not Tom Brady has a mild ankle sprain. Who gives a shit? I mean, really? The guy's got two weeks. Unless he slips bare-backing Gisele over the kitchen table I think he'll be alright. You'd think he broke his leg, or lost his foot altogether in a Gisele's vagina related incident (that's why they call it a "snatch"). Maybe this week Eli will sprain his left wrist masturbating (giving himself the stranger, I guess) and we can hear about what a huge effect it'll have on the game.

Anyone else feel like USC is the ultimate head scratcher? Sure, they've got the talent for a deep run in the big dance. Dare I say a final four run? I doubt it, but as the team I took a flier on to reach the final four I wouldn't mind it. The real question is how much do you trust OJ Mayo? I know his shot selection is overblown (it is bad though), but his general disinterest in facilitating is what will kill this team. He was up for it on Saturday at Pauley, but will he be when he's staring across at Stephen Curry instead of Darren Collison? We'll see. Another big key is the development of Davon Jefferson as it doesn't look like last season's Taj Gibson's coming back. Still can't help but think what this team would be with Nick Young and Gabe Pruitt still in town.

When it comes to going undefeated in College Basketball I agree with the pundits. It's more of a curse than a blessing to enter than dance with a donut in the loss column. It just makes things that much more difficult. Kansas won't do it, they're very beatable for in conference. I watched a good but not great Arizona team let them off the hook. If not for the 'Cats youth, I think they win it at Allen Fieldhouse and we're not even discussing the Jayhawks going undefeated. They get Baylor at home in their only meeting, but even their the Bears can win. If not, I think the 'Horns knock them off two days later in Austin. If you haven't guessed, this means I don't think K-State can get the job done on Wednesday.

As for Memphis? After the whipping Arizona put on Houston in their own house I don't think they can clip Memphis. Just don't see it. That leaves Gonzaga on Saturday and Tennessee a month later. Both are at home, which I think eliminates any chance the Zags have of pulling it off. Tennessee is becoming the rival they should be these days and I wouldn't be shocked if they can knock off the Tigers at FedEx. If they don't, then Memphis enters the tourney undefeated and probably doesn't win the National Championship.

Hines Ward put it about as well as you can when asked about Ben's request for a tall wide receiver.

The All-Star Starters are in, and wow, disappointment abounds once again. They really need to let the media... err.. blogger vote on this or something. The fans will never get it right. D Wade? His team eating historical shit doesn't bother me that much, but he missed how many games?

Jason Kidd? What did the WBA (Wife Beaters of America) get together and make sure their boy got the nod? The guy quit on his team, he doesn't deserve to be there. I'm just happy LeBron and KG are so big on this side of the pond. Otherwise we'd be watching Yi's first of many all-star trips. To end today's random mumbling I give you my starters..

East
G- Chauncey Billups
G- Joe Johnson
F- LeBron James
F- Kevin Garnett
C- Dwight Howard

West
G-Chris Paul
G- Kobe Bryant
F- Carmelo Anthony
F- Tim Duncan
C- Yao Ming

Let me say though, Gerald Wallace had better make the team. Who am I kidding? He won't. Neither will Joe Johnson more than likely. That's all for today, though I plan to fill out my complete ballot at some point. More than likely when G-Wallace gets snubbed.

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GISELE BUNDCHEN SPORTING WALK BOOT

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

NEW YORK, NEW YORK (AP) - Apparently, Tom Brady isn't the only one showing some love for the medical walk boot. Honey Bunny Gisele Bundchen was seen last night in a Victoria Secret's underground Runway show with the medical booty as well. "It's the latest crave in fashion", the Brazilian supermodel admits. "Tommy was doing it because I had requested him to do so, I had no idea it would be such a fiasco!".

The fiasco those talking luscious legs are referring to are the reports of Patriots Quarterback wearing a medical boot Monday in New York City while visiting his girlfriend. Some have visual evidence, and some deny the claim that he was, Brady does not.

"Yeah, it was a medical boot. What's your f--king point?," the quarterback steamed. "I could unload baby batter all over the Liberty Bell if I felt like it. Why you gotta' front?" This reporter won't deny that Brady probably could do something like that, without penalty. In part because it would be the most beautiful thing to grace our nation since the birth of "freedom fries". The Liberty Bell and freedom fries were not available for comment by the time this article was to be published.

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FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: MY NAME IS IGOR OLSHANSKY AND I'M A MORON

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

I know I'm a little late on this one because the mammoth Ukrainian let the stupid fly after their win Sunday, but I keep seeing it pop up on TV as this weekend's game gets closer and every time I do, I think to myself, "What the hell was this kid thinking?"

Who? New England? Seriously, I mean, they're more worried than we are, I promise you. Believe me. They know what's up.
- Igor Olshanksy, San Diego Defensive End and Victim of Verbal Diarrhea

My best bet at the reaction from within the Patriots Organization:

He said what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dumb bastard...

Seriously, let's all take a second to look at the situation here. Igor, feel free to join us.

One team is 17-0 and beat the living daylights out of the other earlier in the year. Oh yeah, they're in pretty near perfect health too.

The team that isn't 17-0, while they may be playing pretty decent football as of right now, ISN'T 17-0 and has the potential to step onto the field lacking their three best offensive players come Sunday.

Honestly Igor, even with LT, Rivers and Gates, beating New England in their backyard is one huge task. Doing it with Michael Turner, Billy Volek and Brandon Comeoniwannaleiyou is another thing. Not to mention the fact that last year, when you and your healthy teammates were the favourites and had the better record, New England came to your house and beat you there too.

As if there needed to be further proof that you just don't go pissing off the Patriots this season, all Olshansky needed to do was place a couple of phone calls. Give Eric Mangini a ring. Get a hold of Anthony Smith. See what they have to say about getting on the Patriots bad side.

Mangini set this whole Spy-Gate thing in motion and unleashed the fury that the rest of the league had to deal with all season long. For his troubles, he also got handed a 20-10 defeat in Week 15, also known as Consecutive Win #14.

Anthony Smith was even better. He guaranteed Pittsburgh was going to win. They didn't and Smith got absolutely lit up by The Brady Bunch. He was personally burned for two big touchdowns, as if Tom Brady and Co. was saying, "Here you go. Make a play Big Mouth." Smith came up waaaay short.

Now, anything is possible. LT and Rivers could be a go for Sunday's game and once you step on the field there is no telling what could happen. San Diego could shock everyone and walk out of New England with a win.

They could also get their asses handed to them.

Which do you think is more likely?

Me too.

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FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: I HATE BOSTON!

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

I hate the Red Sox. I hate the Celtics. I hate the Patriots. I hate the whole damn area!

As things stand right now, on this fourth day of 2008, the Boston Red Sox are the World Series Champions, the New England Patriots just went 16-0 and should win the Super Bowl and the Boston Celtics are the best team in the NBA, at least as far as records go. On the whole, that blows! No area should be afforded that much success ever, yet alone in the span of one sports year...

For comparison sake, Canada hasn't won anything since 1993 when the Toronto Blue Jays captured the World Series and the Montreal Canadians won the Stanley Cup. Since the Stanley Cup doesn't really count in the US anyway, even though it has resided there ever since, that means the Jays are all I have to hang my hat on and that's for an entire country, not just a region. We're talking about a geographical area in New England that isn't even the size of Newfoundland. This is just brutal!

Here are five reasons why this really sucks:

1. The Patriots Have Been Awesome For A Decade
Remember when the Patriots upset "The Greatest Show on Turf" Rams for their first Super Bowl and were the darlings of the football world? That was nice. Now, now that they are the step on your throat, kick you while you're down, beat you, pick you up and beat you some more Patriots who just went 16-0, I hate them. Special thanks goes out to the other teams in the NFL who insist on trading insanely talented players to the Patriots for 35 cents on the dollar. Thank you Miami (Wes Welker) and Oakland (Randy Moss). And, just to add insult to injury, Tom Brady is bangin' Giselle. Go to Hell Tom Brady, You Greedy Bastard!

2. The Red Sox Aren't Idiots Anymore
Much like their football brethren, the original incarnation of the championship Sox was lovable. They were the underdog before Jason Lee, with a band of characters like Pedro, Cowboy Kevin Millar and ManRam, plus they did something that had never been done before in coming back from 3-0 down to win a series. They even gained extra points for doing it against the goddamn Yankees too! Now, no more idiots, except for Paps. Manny being Manny isn't entertaining anymore, Josh Beckett is too damn good and Theo Epstein is a freakin' genius even if he signed JD Drew to a long-term deal.

3. The Celtics Are Making Danny Ainge & Doc Rivers Look Great
Let me remind you that prior to this season, both of these men should have rightfully been fired. They had accomplished the square root of fuckall and had turned the once proud Celtics into a total laughing stock. They pretty much tanked on purpose last year to try and land Oden or Durant and then even failed to do that. But then Kevin McHale bailed out his old team by shipping KG to town and The Big Ticket has transformed the laughable Celts into legit contenders, despite what Wilbon and Kornheiser might say on PTI. As such, Ainge and Doc look great right now as the GM and Coach of the team with the best record in the NBA, when we all know that they have nothing to do with the success of the Celtics.

4. It's Going to be Like This For A While
The Patriots will remain dominant so long as Tom Brady keeps taking less money to remain in New England and Hobo Bill patrols the sidelines. The Sox are The New Evil Empire, like it or not Bostonians, and will stop at nothing to remain neck and neck with the only team they care about competing with and since the Celtics have Allen locked up until 2010, Pierce through 2011 and KG through 2012, chances are that they have a nice little five year run ready to go starting this season.

5. Eventually, the Bruins Might Catch On
And if that happens, it's a sure sign of The Apocalypse.

As such, here are my hopes for 2008 in regards to the sports franchises residing in the New England area:

The Patriots run into Jacksonville, who beats them up physically. They might not beat them on the scoreboard, but spending an entire game having that line and those backs pounding on you is hard. That way, when Indy comes to town a week later, Peyton, Reggie Wayne and the fresh and ready to go Marvin Harrison can pull an upset, with ex-Pat Adam Vinatieri kicking the winning field goal.

The Red Sox trade for Johan Santana, giving up Jon Lester, Jacoby Ellsbury and a couple others and ink him to a long-term deal. Santana promptly goes out and tears a ligament in his pitcher arm, misses almost two years and the guys they traded away develop into the All-Stars everyone is pretty sure they will be. Sadly, even without Santana and the guys they traded, Boston still makes the playoffs.

Detroit walks into Boston and beats the Celtics on a pair of late free throws by Chauncey Billups, who got to the line by pump faking Tony Allen into the air just like Doc Rivers told him he would. Wait? That already happened? Alright. Forget about the Celtics then...

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WHAT KEPT THE BLOGOSPHERE BUZZING IN 2007?

by Ed Valentine, Valentine's Views On Sports

Here is a look back at some of the events that shaped the sports blogosphere in 2007.

• Pretty much any 'Who Would You Do?' contest. Various sites have held those in regards to sideline reporters, tennis stars, golf stars, and wives or girlfriends of athletes. A site run by women even did a Hot Sports Bloggers contest. Yuck! At this point, these are entertaining, but old hat.

• The Allison Stokke uproar. The blogosphere was on fire after With Leather turned 18-year-old high school pole vaulter Allison Stokke into an Internet sensation with a sexy picture and some lewd remarks. Six months later I still get a smattering of hits to my personal site, Valentine's Views, looking for Stokke stories.

• Colin Cowdungherd vs. The Big Lead. Cowherd directed his listeners to attack The Big Lead and try to crash its servers, which they did, following some commentary Cowdungherd didn't like. Cowdungherd has become the sports blogosphere's favorite whipping boy. At least he's good for something!

• Steroids in baseball. Arguments abound everywhere on the Internet about Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and everyone else connected to the performance-enhancing drug scandal in baseball. This topic will give bloggers fodder to write and argue about for years to come.

• Alex Rodriguez stories. Anyone who writes consistently knows that some days you just have nothing new, nothing fresh. Thank God for A-Rod on those days. Whether he was hitting home runs, hitting on women who weren't his wife, wishing he could hit his agent or hitting up the Yankees for insane wads of cash, there was always something to write about this ever-so sensitive superstar.

• The New York Knicks. The Knicks desperately need to fire coach/GM Isiah Thomas and get rid of the very strange Stephon Marbury. If you blog heavily about New York sports, though, as I do, you hope James Dolan keeps these guys forever. Like A-Rod, there is pretty much something to write about one or both of these idiots every day.

• Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. Love 'em or hate 'em, the Patriots always give you something to talk about. Whether it was Spygate, songs immortalizing their coach as 'Belicheat,' questions about running up the score on undermanned opponents or just admiration for how good they are the Patriots have been a hot topic all year. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that Tom Brady is impregnating supermodels at an alarming rate.

• Michael Vick and PacMan Jones. Law-breaking superstars will always get the blogosphere fired up, and these were the two favorite targets during the past year.
  

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THE BELICHICK INTERNATIONAL SPY AGENCY

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

Who is Anthony Smith? Two weeks ago everyone on the planet would have said that they do not know of anyone by that name, but Anthony Smith of the Steelers decided to guarantee a victory over the undefeated Patriots. Of course, the Patriots walked away with a 34-13 victory where they burned Smith on three occasions for the touchdowns. Smith was also seen headbutting Tom Brady after Mr. Gisele Bundchen threw a first quarter touchdown.

The media entered the Pittsburgh locker room to get some quotes from Anthony Smith. Guess what? He states that the Steelers will see the Patriots again in the playoffs. Smith needs to focus on making plays on the field which will lead the team to victory instead of running his mouth. What would Bill Cowher have done to him if he pulled the same stunt on him? Rip his head off? Head coach Mike Tomlin needs to get his team back on the winning track and focusing on the next game instead of having to deal with a media firestorm after one of his weakest defensive players runs his stupid mouth.

Bill Belichick who usually says nothing in his press conferences that gets people riled up at all made some comments about Smith. When asked about many of the plays which took advantage of Anthony Smith, he stated that, "The safety play at that position was pretty inviting." Rodney Harrison and Randy Moss called out Smith saying that the team used the comments as motivation heading into the game.

The Pats have some motivation this weekend as they take on Eric Mangenius and the New York Jets. The Jets turned in the New England Patriots this season after getting a videotape confiscated from the Pats sideline during the first quarter of their week one match-up. As everyone knows, it was found out that the Patriots were filming the defensive coaches of the Jets so they could look at the signals thus knowing what the Jets were calling during the game. The Patriots were found guilty of the charges and lost their 1st round pick.

As we enter this Week 15 match-up the teams are heading in very different directions with the Patriots having a solid (ok, outstanding) 13-0 record while the Jets are only 3-10 with two of the wins coming against the hapless Dolphins. The Patriots started the week off as 27 point favorites as it is expected that Belichick will run up the score on the Jets for costing them a first round pick. According to some national reports, Mangenius was trying to steal Patriots assistant coaches on the way back from a playoff game which irked Belichick. The two coaches had a great relationship until Mangenius starting to try to cause problems with the Patriots staff. The Pats also filed tampering charges after the Jets were talking to a Patriots wide receiver who was not in camp about moving over to the Jets camp.

We will see what will happen this weekend and how many points Patriots will put up on the Jets, but I would say that the score will be closer then the 27 point spread as a blizzard is expected in the New England area starting on Sunday.

AS I WAS TYPING THIS POST UP, I HEARD ESPN REPORTING THAT THE JETS WERE CAUGHT VIDEOTAPING LAST SEASON AT GILETTE STADIUM. TAKE AWAY THE NUMBER 1 PICK OF THE JETS!

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BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP AWARD FOR DECEMBER 6

Props to truthaboutit.

If you do or see some great photoshopping in the future, send it to us and you might win ...

... much respect among your peeps.

Money can't buy that!

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THROWING KNIVES: HMMMM...

by BD, Staff Writer

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with what happened last night and thus have only one thing to say. I was having a hell of a time putting it into words this morning. There just wasn't anything that could quite convey my feelings about the Pats escape from Baltimore. After the jump, you'll quickly see I figured it out.



We can wish, right?

Anyhow, just one of those days... I'll be back at it tomorrow.

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TOM VS LEO FOR THE FAIR LADY

by BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity

Hmm, so apparently, there's trouble a-brewing in Tom Brady town. Much like you and me, his problems primarily involve keeping his supermodel girlfriend in check. Oh star athletes... so like us.

As if Tom Brady doesn't have enough problems dodging 300-pound defensive lineman. Now will the New England Patriots quarterback have to dodge Leo DiCaprio as he communicates with Brady's supermodel sweetie Gisele Bundchen via text message? In Touch Weekly is reporting that the NFL signal caller is unhappy with the entire development.

The magazine reports that there may be a little trouble in paradise for Tom and Gisele and it's in the form of her ex-boyfriend Leonardo! Now that Leo's romance with Israeli model Bar Refaeli is kaput, he's rekindled his friendship with Gisele, 27, and has been texting her a lot., the story claims.

"Leo now realizes what a mistake h