TYSON GAY AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD OLYMPICS

by Chris Richardson, Intentional Foul

It was supposed to be a coming out party for Tyson Gay. It was an opportunity to compete for the "World's Fastest Man" title. Gay arrived on the Olympic scene with so much promise after smoking Asafa Powell in Japan. The hype was briefly lowered after he was surprisingly beaten by an unknown Insane Bolt in May, which, incidentally, was the same race Bolt broke the world record for the first time.

In June, however, Gay ran a wind-aided 9.68, which signified to many he was ready to challenge Bolt on the world stage and help lead the American sprinters back to glory.

Then the hamstring trouble started.

About a month before Beijing, Gay hurt his hamstring -- one of the most important muscles to sprinters -- while trying to qualify for the 200. Right then, the omen of a potentially disastrous Olympics for Gay should have been recognized. However, Gay addressed these fears by saying his hammy was 100% -- obviously not the case after watching Gay fail to even qualify for the 100-meter final.

From that point on, it's been all Usain Bolt. All the adulation and recognition went to the Jamaican sprinter with the mega-watt personality and rightfully so. When you do things on the track that hasn't been done since names like Carl Lewis and Jesse Owens, you deserve all the attention you get.

Sadly, this could've been Tyson Gay. In fact, to some, it was supposed to be.

Gay had one more shot at some Olympic redemption with the 4x100 meter relay, but after dropping the baton in the qualifying round, he, once again, was denied an opportunity to even medal. What was supposed to be a coming out party turned into a funeral wake.

Now, I'm not saying a healthy Gay would or could beat Bolt at these Olympics. I just wish he had the opportunity to try. The sprinter who is capable of running like this (wind or no):



Is capable of at least giving Bolt a race and if Gay didn't win gold, silver ain't too bad -- especially when that makes you the second fastest person in the world.

Could the American 4x1 relay team beat the Jamaican World Record-breaking team from this morning? Who knows, but it would've been nice to see Gay and company get the opportunity to see for themselves.

As for Gay, he turned 26 at the beginning of August, meaning he probably won't get another chance at individual Olympic gold after Beijing. He might get another shot at the 4x100 in 2012, but it's doubtful he'll be running the anchor. Also, it's important to remember Usain Bolt will be 26 in 2012, which puts him directly in his prime, so who knows what kind of times he'll be posting by then.

No, for Lexington, Kentucky native, the Olympic Games are a failure and that, my friends, is one of the sadder stories to come out of Beijing. Yes, he'll get some redemption shots at various future meets, but they certainly won't have the same kind of luster as the Olympics, even if it's a Bolt-versus-a-healthy-Gay situation.

Sometimes, even all the natural talent in the world isn't enough. Luck and health play as big of a part and if you don't believe me, just ask Tyson Gay.

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USAIN BOLT=INSANE

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

Unless you've been living in a hut in Kenya, much like Barack Obama's brother, you know that Usain Bolt obliterated the world records in the 100 and 200 m dashes, with times of 9.69 and 19.32 respectively. I was no math major at UNH, but let's put these numbers in perspective:

Doing a little metric conversion, we find that 1 mile is equal to 1609 meters. That means if Bolt kept the same pace over a full mile, he would finish it in just under 2 minutes and 36 seconds. Since that mean's it takes him 156 seconds to run one mile, we just figured out how many miles he could do in an hour at the same rate. For his 100m time of 9.69, this averages out to 23.07 MPH. Seriously, this is absolutely insane that a human being can average 23.07 MPH for 100 meters. As he was crossing the finish line, Bolt decided to look for his competitors which were left in the dust.

Just for your knowledge Bolt ran the 200 meter race at a faster clip then the 100 meter race. He ended up averaging a MPH of 23.15 MPH in the 200 meter race according to my calculations. Not too shabby.

Do you see these numbers Scott Pioli? I think Tom Brady needs a new Wide Receiver to play the other flanker position and Mr. Bolt is a great option. He even has a great wingspan which was seen as he was crossing the finish line. The next project for me will be to measure Bolt's wingspan.

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF JULY 6

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

As American slides into the baseball summer All-Star break, and the Olympic Games slide into the quiet before the Beijing storm, steroid doping enthusiasts(?) focused on the Olympic athletes and the Tour de France riders.

The 2008 Tour -- after huge busts in 2006 (Floyd Landis) and 2007 (Alexandre Vinokourov, and Michael Rasmussen) -- was determined to monitor doping. Almost any drug known to man appeared at some point in the history of the tour. EPO and blood doping, anabolic steroids (Landis), amphetamines, and anti-inflammatory injections, appear to be the most frequently abused drugs during the long ride. Tour authorities thought this year's race might be different. Surprise!

By Day 5, Tour officials announced suspicious signs of doping, followed by news that Manuel Beltran tested positive for EPO, a hormone that promotes production of red blood cells thus increasing oxygen carrying capacity of the blood. The alleged doping may have been nailed by serial blood tests of normal physiological measures. Another major cyclist, Riccardo Ricco was dodging rumors of abnormal blood measures at the end of the week too. Meanwhile, the French announced that last year's dopers -- Alexandre Vinokourov, Iban Mayo and Italian Cristian Moreni -- may be subject of criminal charges in France.

Interesting that Beltran teamed with US cycling and cultural icon Lance Armstrong. Other Armstrong cycling buddies implicated in doping include: Floyd Landis (testosterone), Alberto Contador (Operation Puerto), Tyler Hamilton (blood doping), and Freddie Andreu (blood doping), Birds of a feather?

With the Olympics pending, observers recounted past dopers, and defined current possibilities. Just who should be considered the world's fastest female sprinter? Flo-Jo (Florence Griffith-Joyner) who holds the historic world record, an unassailable 10.49; Marion Jones, second at 10.65; or Frances Christine Arron at 10.73? A conversation with Arron -- who will run at Beijing in 2008 -- reveals she considers her effort tops, dismissing the other 2 female sprinters for doping. She offers particularly harsh words for Jones:

"She has lied for years," Arron said. "She treated everyone as idiots. I'm not choked she is going to jail. Many people criticised me because I was always the one who lost in the Jones-Arron battle, even if I had very good results. We started running together in 1997. She has stolen my best years. Everything could have been different for me."

Although other Olympic hopefuls were caught juicing, particular scrutiny continues on 41 year-old Dara Torres who has never urinated a positive doping test. Opinions on Torres alternate between hero worship as the mother of one takes on the young athletic does ("bucks" didn't work here) beating them in the water, or abhorrence of her ripped muscular physical appearance combined with gravity-defying personal best times in the 5th decade of life which could only be (the argument goes) masterminded with artificial hormonal aid.

At Steroid Nation, we tepidly entered the debate until San Francisco Chronicle columnist Gwen Knapp said Torres was suffering a double standard: men get away with juicing, and women don't. Did she mean Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, and Mark McGwire are all now home free for the Cooperstown Hall of Fame? Did she mean the press was all over Marion Jones from the beginning (took 8 years and multiple denials before she admitted to doping) and Tammy Thomas immediately (took about 4-5 years before she was convicted of lying about steroid use)?

Indeed Torres, now engineering her 3rd comeback (yes her third) swims faster in sprints than she did while a collegiate star at Florida State during WW2, and in the '84, '88, '92, '00 Olympics. In Sydney. she impressively hurdled doping questions about her 2000 Olympic appearance. One would think 8 years, one baby, several surgeries, and a long layoff would bring even more juicing heat on her during the 2008 games in Beijing. However Dara daresya to find a dirty urine in her multi-epoch career. It's going to be All-Dara-All-the-Time for the next month (along with the All-Brett-All-Favre-All-the-Time). Say didn't a very veteran Brett Favre also become pregnant at some time in his illustrious career?

In other juiced Olympic news, the Greeks destroyed their livers with methyltrienolone, (and here) the Chinese are kicking 'roiders out 左and 右 (left and right), and the Europeans are baffled why steeplechase athletes would actually juice.

Meanwhile back in the boring US of A, the only doping action in the major sports consisted of opinions about megajuicer Jason Giambi's mustache. At least Giambi didn't use the Butt Wedge or the Urinator to grow his mustache...or did he?

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 29

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

July, the gateway to August and the 2008 Olympics. July, the Tour de France. July, when the weightlifters all bail from competition.

Beginning last week and striding (or stroking) into the early days of July, US athletes competed for berths on the 2008 Olympics team and airfare to Beijing China. Olympic athletes also face more stringent dope testing preparing for the Olympics than in previous years.

In the USA camp, drug-cheat and ex-gold medal winner Justin Gatlin, did not run in the '08 Olympic trials. Gatlin or no Gatlin, the USA showed speed to burn: Tyson Gay fired up the 100M in an wind-aided 8.68. However Gay pulled a hamstring in the 200, falling hard o the fast new track in Eugene OR.

Several once-juiced athletes qualified for the US track team: Torri Edwards a female sprinter, and Demu Cherry in women's 100M hurdles. Both served suspensions in past years for doping: Edwards a stimulant, and Cherry a nandrolone metabolite. None disgraced themselves as much as former world record holder Tim Montgomery who plead guilty to heroin charges last week.

US gymnast Morgan Hamm failed to inform the USOC of his therapeutic use of an anti-inflammatory steroid for hip pain; this did not sooth US Olympics officials who need both Hamm and his twin brother to compete at Beijing.

The big news over in Omaha, when US swimmers competed for Olympics slots included an incredible performance by superman Michael Phelps, and superwoman Dara Torres. Torres (photo to the left) a 41 year-old mother defied gravity, swimming faster that she did 20 years ago to qualify for her 5th Olympiad. Cynics howled at the moon attempting to identify if she doped. This appears to be futile exercise: she never tested positive for the juice even when questions arose in 2000. Torres attributes her amazing physique to stretching, and not weight machines (? lifting). Torres feel so righteous she volunteered to offer every body fluid and a couple abdominal organs for dope testing. Fava beans anyone?

The dope testers worked overtime abroad. Bulgaria lost an entire weightlifting team to juice. The Chinese cracked down on several athletes. Lord Coe in the UK looks dimly on sprinter Dwain Chambers -- a BALCO player -- attempt to override the lifetime ban Britain slapped on the track star. Euro indoor champ, Slovak shot putter Mikulas Konopka, appears to be banned for doping, serving life plus 3.

The biggest loss occurred when Turkish gold medalist 4ft-11inch Halil withdraw from the upcoming Beijing Olympics, thus spoiling his opportunity for a 3-peat in weight lifting. Mutlu (photo to the right) said he was coming up short on training lifts. Mutlu cast a long shadow on his achievements when he was nailed with a steroid suspension.

The 2008 Tour de France rolled out a less than star-studded stable of cyclists, cut down by the pervasive doping offenses the past several years in pro cycling. While Floyd Landis considered appealing his recent loss of the 2006 Tour to the man in the moon, Alejandro Valverde took Day One. Valverde's lead, implicated in the huge Operation Puerto doping scheme in Europe, suggests connoisseurs of the doping scandal may yet be served in the '08 Tour. Then again, even the EPO test employed to catch blood doping cheats, draws lab validity questions. (and here)

Oh yes, and the PGA began steroid testing; John Daly they are looking at you, dude.

Almost a quiet week in baseball. Ex-trainer Brian McNamee asked the court to dismiss Roger Clemens's defecation suit (anyone catch that?) against him. Mega-juicer Jason Giambi is making a case to be on the 2008 All-Star team, as Mitchell-report add-on Todd Williams would just like to make an MLB team.

Several weeks of the Tour de France and several weeks until the Beijing Olympics. Wonder what steroid surprises lie ahead?

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 22

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

"Terry Bradshaw". Just the name itself demands respect and awe from...well from someone out there, probably in McKeesport PA. The week kicked off with the word spreading that the legendary Steeler QB admitted to using steroids. However, knowing the impulsive Bradshaw, questions remained whether the current football commentator meant anabolic steroids, or anti-inflammatory corticosteroid or simply an aspirin or two. As we go to press, Bradshaw clarified the entire thing: maybe it was the anti-inflammatory kinds of steroids he said. Or maybe as Hollywood Henderson said "He can't spell cat, even if you spotted him the C-A". At least Bradshaw is still alive, which is more than can be said for many of his juiced Steeler teammates.

From off-track to on-track. The US Olympic trials continue in Oregon this week. The new track must be incredibly fast, because the times run there fall into the "simply amazing" category....or the 'simply juiced' category. As one writer asks: 'Can we enjoy track anymore', with the long shadow of steroid-use hanging over every race, and every record.

Tyson Gay ran an incredible 9.68, although wind-aided. A high school kid zoomed to a 10.01, the fastest high school sprint in the US track history; Jeffrey Damps will run back punts at Florida next fall. Women loved the track with 100M times in the 10.8 range. The women's 100M winner, Muna Lee, never broke 11.00 before her win in Oregon at 10.85. Mark Zeigler summed things up about the roid cloud: "Whether it is the Beynon Surfaces track or a sizzling generation of American sprinters or the gentle tailwinds or illicit doping rearing its head once again, the performances at steamy Hayward Field yesterday were nothing short of stunning." Track controversy in all race venues continued, even in the marathon -- Hawaii Marathon winner Ambese Tolossa found himself suspended for morphine.

One runner who will not be stunning in Oregon will be Justin Gatlin -- former world record holder and drug-cheat -- although not for lack of legal effort. Gatlin obtained a restarting order 10 days ago, apparently allowing him to defy international regulatory agencies banning the sprinter from competition. However the Pensacola judge reversed himself over the weekend. Nonetheless, Gatlin was back in court, this time in Georgia; that effort to subvert the anti-doping agencies ran aground too. Looks like Gatlin will be grounded this week outside the Olympic trials.

On the testing front, a new report on the EPO urine test cast doubt on the ability of anti-doping agencies to pick up EPO cheats. The drug, that expands the red blood cell count, was not detected very well by anti-doping labs. This is an unfortunate development with the Olympics only weeks away and the Tour de France days away, and knowing that drug-cheats like Marion Jones once used EPO to perform better. A huge drug bust in Australia led authorities to wonder if a big conspiracy was brewing to enable athletes to dope fro the Beijing Olympics this year too.

Intrigue surrounded horse racing again this week. Big Brown's trainer Rick Dutrow not only insulted other trainers, his horse was nailed with a high level of clenbuterol. This guys must be trying his best to displace Roger Clemens from the seat of 'silly steroid infamy' this year. One of Dutrow's enemy's found his horse with a high level of Clen too...possible sabotage?

Great one-off stories this week. Horse-steroid using bodybuilder Julie Coram (photo to the left) in Manitoba hired a New York lawyer to bail her out of the hot juice of a positive steroid test. Gold medal winning swimmer Gary Hall vented about 'roid use in Olympic swimming. The women running the 100M at the Oregon Olympics had traps like linebackers -- hey it's all good (Torri Edwards photo to the right).

New Flash: this just in, the results for the 2006 Tour de France. Floyd Landis lost..again. Everyone can quit holding their collective breathes (for about 2 years now). Later...

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10 REASONS TO WATCH THE OLYMPICS

by Brian P. Foley, The College Baseball Blog

10. Will Michael Phelps repeat his performance from the 2004 Olympics where he won eight medals?
9. Can Hope Solo overcome her teammates hating her?
8. Will Taekwondo give us a great knockout again? Click here to see it. (Start at the 3 minute mark).
7. The USA Basketball team will be looking to return to Gold Medal podium after only a bronze in the 2004 Olympics.
6. We can see how many Track and Field athletes will test positive before, during, and after the Olympics.
5. You get to see Bob Costas every night.
4. Davey Johnson will be coaching Team USA in baseball.
3. Laure Manaudou should be in the Women's swimming events. Click here for more info.
2. The Williams sisters are playing.
1. Jennie Finch END OF STORY!

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 15

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

Here is something to get you up and going this week: Viagra as a performance enhancing drug, on the athletic field, not in the bedroom. Experts in athletic doping like Don Catlin suspected that sildenafil (Viagra) could be used to enhance physciological aspects of athletic performance; the drug increases blood flow to various organs and muscles. Word came out that multi-drug cheat Roger Clemens took Viagra when he took the mound -- pitching mound. Several media outlets now report on viva Viagra, which would not be illegal in sporting events at this point.

Sadly, PED or Viagra use may have led to the demise of a bright NFL prospect -- Heath Benedict. Benedict played college football for a small D-2 South Carolina school, however impressed NFL scouts as a top lineman for the 2008 draft. Benedict died at home in March. Autopsy revealed an enlarged heart, and drugs were found near his body. Two vials -- Viagra and Arimidex (anti-estrogen) and an unknown syringe lay beside him. Speculation centers on the role of toxic PEDs in the athlete's death.

An athlete might take an illegal drug, yet still be able to compete at the Olympic trials. That's what sprinter Justin Gatlin wants to see happen. Following a positive urine test for testosterone in 2006, Gatlin received 4 to 8 years suspension, depending on what agency ruled against him. Earlier in his career Gatlin tested positive for amphetamine, which he said he took for ADHD; however he served a one year suspension nonetheless. When he tested positive for the androgenic drug at the Kansas race, US agencies ruled the sprinter needed to sit out competition for 8 years. The Court of Arbitration for Sports ruled that Gatlin, once the 100M world record holder, should sit for 4 years -- 2006 to 2010. However a judge in Gatlin's home town of Pensacola, Fl issued a restraining order (against whom?) purportedly to allow Gatlin to run in the 2008 Olympics trials now starting in Oregon. More to come on this story -- which is to be expected when legal systems start clashing jurisdictions.

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) long ago ruled Human Growth Hormone (HGH) illegal in Olympic type athletic events. That ruling never stopped drug-cheats like Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery from using HGH to cheat competitors. However, new developments continue in the use or misuse of HGH in sports. Researchers look for new biological dog tracks to catch drug-cheats. WADA says new HGH testing may be ready for the Beijing Olympics later this summer. And some even doubt HGH enhances performance.

Veterinarian medicine and drug cheating appeared bust last week. Horsemen appeared on Capitol Hill to testify about the doping of race horses. However, the main protagonist of the horse racing spring -- Rick Dutrow -- pulled up lame before the event. Nonetheless horse jockeys and horseman came out with a statement against steroid doping of horses. In a weird related event, two horsemen long known for their anti-steroid stance feel a colt of theirs was a victim of sabotage when the animal tested positive for clenbuterol, which neither endorses or uses for horses. The trainer -- Larry Jones -- trained Eight Belles the filly who died on the track after the Kentucky Derby.

The other event related to vet medicine occurred in Canada where Julie Coram -- a figure competitor -- tested positive for Equipose -- a horse steroid, boldenone -- along with other androgenic metabolites during an event (photo above). No reactions from jockeys on this horseplay.

Other women in the PED world news this week include several Olympic competitors who will be suspended for the Beijing Olympic Games (and here), and interestingly Greg Anderson's wife. Anderson, as you recall, worked as Barry Bonds steroids and PED source; the bodybuilder spent months in jail rather than turn on Bonds. However, as part of the pressure on Anderson to fess up on the career home run record holder, the IRS appears to be leaning on Nicole Gestas, Anderson's wife.

With all this PED intrigue brweing, Fox Sports came up with a list of sports Top Ten Train Wrecks. Drugs, including steroids look like universal currency for screwed-up human beings, including Jose Canseco. The could have losted Ex-NFL player David Boston, a multi drug, multi-PED abuser.

Lastly, the fake phallus with the bogus urine -- the Whizzinator made the news again. The downfall of one Onterrio Smith -- the disgraced Minnesota Viking running back -- the multi-toned custom-ordered penis facsimile to beat the dope testing made the news this week as competitors pull out all stops for the 2008 Olympic Games.

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF MAY 25

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

Track and field grabbed the 'roid spotlight in May, when the Trevor Graham BALCO-steroids trial settled into center stage in San Francisco. Almost as if on cue, the world 100M mark fell to a relative novice in New York, when the month ended, thus generating the question: "are any modern track marks free of doping and 'roiding taint?"

Trevor Graham -- coach of Marion Jones, and disgraced world record holders Tim Montgomery and Justin Gatlin -- fell to one charge of lying to investigators as two other charges went deadlocked last week in the BALCO courtroom scene. Graham lied about his involvement in supplying performance enhancing drugs to athletes he coached at Sprint Capital USA during the past decade. Many track athletes revealed doping proclivities during the two week trial, either by their own admission, or by the testimony of dope dealer Angel Heredia.

Stars of the Graham trail included IRS/FDA agent Jeff Novitzky, also lead investigator on every Barry Bonds probe. Dope dealer Angel Heredia revealed that Graham planned on Jones taking undetectable PEDs like EPO, HGH, and insulin. Olympic gold medal holder, and UNC track assistant coach, Antonio Pettigrew admitted to drug use prior to his 2000 '400 by 4' relay race in the 2000 Sydney Olympics. That brings to three the number of members of that team proven to be dopers, leaving only world record holder Michael Johnson clean (Even Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown is a doper).

We also heard how ex-world record holder/juicer Justin Gatlin worked underground for the FBI, when his dirty urine for testosterone obliterated his world 100M mark. Gatlin appeared to be trying to recover some of the grace in the eyes of IAAF officials by cooperating with federal investigators.

Graham's legal woes demonstrated for all the world to see the corruption behind the USA track machine. This pus oozing out of the illicit doping leads to suspicions about all US track athletes, the esteemed Michael Johnson too.

You snooze (don't dope) you lose -- like Duane Ross. Ross didn't go for the Trevor Graham blueprinted (patent applied for) plan of EPO, HGH, and insulin (slin).

May closed as Jamaican Usian Bolt sped to a new world records of 9.72, defeating challenger Tyson Gay's best, and breaking Asafa Powell's world mark. The Jamaican prodigy has now recorded 2 of the world's best three times, in only five tries at the 100M in organized competition. Bolt's timely record set off a maelstrom of controversy about the record, and the role of doping. Discredited, disgraced Ben Johnson -- he of 1976-Seoul-Gold-Medal-Dope-Disqualification-Winny fame -- claimed all track records of the past few decades were tainted -- except his own purged mark, which was sabotaged by Carl Lewis's anabolic chicanery.

Does all that sprinting warp a man's thoughts? Back with more dope for you later this week...

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF MAY 11

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

The Washington Post suggests that the end of an era may be delivered with the trial of ex-Coach Trevor Graham this week in San Francisco. Graham inadvertently kicked off the BALCO brouhaha when he mailed a syringe (obtained from a juiced BALCO athlete) with unknown steroid to the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA). At the same time BALCO's boss Victor Conte contacted authorities about what cheater Graham was. Resembled the shootout at the end of "Enemy of the State" when corrupt Government agents blasted at angry Mafioso who fired back.

The Post quotes USADA chief Travis Tagert thinking that athletes see the older generation of dopers nailed in court, which may deter future doping. (Has anything deterred cheating in sports?) Not with drug distributors like Angel 'Memo' Heredia available. A track athlete from Mexico who attended Texas A & M, Heredia is expected to testify in the Graham trial. He might give his account of the drugs American sprint medalists Maurice Greene and Marion Jones allegedly used:

"Time was very short. We kept it to the main stuff: growth hormone, insulin, EPO, IGF-1 [a growth hormone]."

Talent and some (alot of) drugs beats the clean competition every time.

Might a drug-free clean Olympics be possible? Not a syringe's chance in hell according to BALCO big boss Victor Conte. Conte, on his European victory tour recounts how the bad guys will pervert the Olympic spirit. Interesting that anti-doping officials embrace Conte who has met with big names like WADA's Dick Pound. Conte delineates what drug protocol UK sprinter Dwain Chambers took to compete in the world championships: THG, testosterone/epitestosterone cream, EPO (Procrit), HGH (Serostim), insulin (Humalog), modafinil (Provigil) and liothryonine, which is a synthetic form of the T3 thyroid hormone (Cytomel). That's all going to be cleaned-up soon right?

Chambers made legal moves to overcome the UK's Olympic ban on the drug-cheat. This did not please UK Olympic king Sebastian Coe who favors fair-play in sports.

Staying with track and field, an Austrian female record holder -- marathoner Susan Pumper -- faces a drug ban based on a positive EPO test last year. Has any track record in the past 30 years been set without the aid of illicit PEDs?

Woman showed well on the steroid scene last week. The aforementioned Pumper added to the list of feminine drug cheats. The 'Barbie' of the MMA -- Carina Damm -- knew damn well what she ingested prior to a match: nandrolone (see photo). Indian weight-lifter Kavita Devi peed male steroids too. Two Minnesota women found themselves in jail for selling exotic animal parts and involvement in steroids distribution: we will take 3 tapir claws and some Winny. With those resources why are the Vikings perennial losers lately? Lastly, Eight Belles -- the filly who broke down after finishing second in the Kentucky Derby -- tested free of steroids at autopsy. She might be clean at the Derby, which doesn't tell anyone what she ingested over her short life. Perhaps like Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown and 1976 Olympic gold medalist Ben Johnson, she used Winstrol at some point, increasing her muscles and decreasing her bone mass leaving her vulnerable to injury?

Illegal PED use also scared baseball's week. Career and single-season home run record holder Barry Bonds extended his number of perjury-indictment dingers to 14 counts perjury and one count obstruction of justice...a very productive week for the slugger. Bonds keeps racking up the headlines despite his on-field inaction in 2008.

The Roid Week ended as we lauded the Royals Jose Guillen for awakening finally to his high salary with some decent numbers over the past 9-10 games. Not Mr. HGH, the Angle Gary Matthews who was described as the 'Human Out'. Matthews might be as out as the "104 Men Out" or the 104 MLB players who tested positive for PEDs in 2003. Those players once thought they had anonymity from discovery, guaranteed by the MLB in preliminary proceedings to determine if dope testing was needed in the major leagues. When 5% of the players tested PED positive, MLB slowly instituted anti-doping protocols. However, federal investigators obtained the results of the 2003 tests, matched the data with the names, and now appears ready to subpoena all 104 for interviews.

What else might be on-deck before next week's Roid Report?

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THE 'ROID MIDWEEK REPORT

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

Much going on the the world of steroids and doping to follow. Is there a larger dope than Roger Clemens? Clemens, currently fighting ex-trainer Brian McNamee's charges of anabolic steroid and HGH use, appears to be quite the suave operator...that is if you consider hustling up on 15 year-old's suave. Needing all the integrity he can muster, he stories about Clemens's affair with singer Mindy McCready, starting when she was 15, do not lend credibility to the Rocket's word. Today, more revelations came out about the Rocket's virile red glare spreading to a bevy of beauties. Must be the nandrolone.

Why does MLB seem to leak out all the steroid stories? Is the NFL immune? Not anymore. Recent stories say that NFL agents teach their potential draft prospects all about doping while preparing for the NFL combine. Ex-Cowboy and current Saint Matt Lehr learned his lessons well. Reports indicate Matt Lehr helped out steroids and dope-dealing buddy David Jenkins while in Dallas (pictured). This may break big as the NFL's BALCO scandal. Very interesting too, that Lehr reportedly used an NFL prescribed drug as a masking agent for the steroids.

Speaking of BALCO, track coach Trevor Graham gears up for a big trial in San Francisco. Graham is charged with perjury during the BALCO investigation. The trial will see the testimony of steroids-dealer Angel (Memo) Heredia who threatened to blow the lid off the track world -- during an Olympic year. One of Graham's former charges, Marion Jones is in the news too. Her teammates want to raise money for a legal action to retain their tainted relay gold medals, stripped when Jones admitted to dope-cheating.

In the crowd for the Graham trial will certainly be IRS superstar agent Jeff Novitzky. However Novitzky was traded to the FDA for an undisclosed draft pick. The FDA did not pick up an option for ex-Giant Barry Bonds, one of Novitzky's friends.

Like Miguel Tejada we hope to stay young, younger than out birth certificate says...growing young with HGH. That may be bull, but authorizes in Spain are seeing red over Bulls taking steroids.

See you all, this weekend with more juice from the sports world.

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 20 (PT. 1)

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

Over at Steroid Nation, last weekend became ridiculously overloaded, so we took a pass on The 'Roid Report for a couple days. We now bring you the make-up version with an added bonus feature later, although we haven't quite figured out what the bonus will be.

The Maurice Greene doping story continues on. Greene arguably the top American sprinter of the past 10-15 years became a target of steroid suspensions when a dope dealer allegedly named him as a buyer of juice. Greene denied the rumors, however Greene's ex-training partner Ato Bolden reportedly sent a scathing letter to Greene, and their coach, accusing them of a steroid cover-up. Initially supporting Greene, the IAAF decided to ask the sprinter for an explanation.

Greene's Olympic performances are considered legends. 'Legendary' does not come to mind thus far when describing the upcoming Beijing Olympics. Disturbing stories came from China concerning a sinister plot to discredit American athletics by planting steroids to disqulifying them. Conspiracy or not, the reports add to the controversies surrounding Beijing. And down in Australia authorities busted a former Olympic swimming medalist for selling steroids.

With all these controversies, perhaps we should all relax, take deep breaths, and try Miguel Tejada's HGH/steroid protocol to stay young. Seems the current Astro lied about his age, and his steroid use. Wonder if the Feds now consider him in the country under false pretenses? One more Tejada investigation.

At least the NFL is clean... oops. San Diego linebacker Stephen Cooper tested postive for a banned substance (ephedra) leading to a 4 game suspension. Cooper joins fellow chargers Shawne Merriman and Luis Castillo as juicers. Anyone want to party with these wild and juiced-up guys? (Merriman can be found judging Miss USA). No one seems to want to sign a petition for zero tolerance in baseball for steroids, so might all just party with the NFL juicers.

More later this weekend on steroid silliness.

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 6

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation