THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF MARCH 30

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

Last week opened with President George Bush throwing out the first ball at the Washington Nationals spanking new stadium. Bush snubbed Mitchell-report steroid-busted Nat's catcher Paul LoDuca, rather tossing the ball to the Nat's manger Manny Acta. Interesting because Bush co-owned the Texas Rangers about the time, Typhoid-Steroid-Mary Jose Canseco rode into Arlington Texas.

The main events for last week's 'roid action occurred in the San Francisco Bay area, and wherever Typhoid Jose Canseco chose to inject himself into the action.

A San Francisco courtroom could barely contain the ego or beard of now-defendant former-cyclist Tammy Thomas. Thomas, an elite cyclist at one time, found herself banned from cycling when she tested positive for shaving and for the steroid norbolethone (precursor to THG, the clear). The story goes that one surprised tester saw shaving cream on Thomas' face when she answered the door for a unscheduled doping test.

IRS-BALCO superstar investigator Jeff Novitzky held court in court during the trial last week. Novitzky will also be bringing the heat when Barry Bonds sits on the hot seat later this summer; it was expected the Thomas trial might presage the US Government's game plan for the Bonds proceedings.

Thomas herself had much to lose in this trial. She attends law school at the University of Oklahoma, following her ban from cycling because of the drug-cheating. If convicted of perjury or obstruction of justice, it would be doubtful if Thomas would be accepted into a state bar for the practice of law. Why did Thomas not simply shave off the mask of secrecy to testify truthfully when she was given immunity in the original BALCO Grand Jury? Tell the truth, and all would be forgiven. Is it in the DNA?

The jury announced a very unfavorable verdict for Thomas late Friday: she was convicted of several counts of perjury, and one count of obstruction. Apparently forgetting that she will be sentenced by the sitting judge, she screamed at the jurors and the prosecuting attorneys: "I already had one career taken away from me. Look me in the eye. You can't do it.''

As the LA Times suggests, Thomas might look herself in the mirror to inspect the cause of her demise. Her 'roid rage in the courtroom just might prompt the judge to require Thomas look even longer into the eyes of her jailers, at sentencing.

Further down the bay, Victor Conte announced he will be penning a 'tell-all' book on the BALCO conspiracy. That prompted a lawsuit from fighter Shane Mosley who Conte says will be named as a juicer. A certain baboon might also be retaining a lawyer, as it served as a steroid guinea pig in Dr. Don Catlin's UCLA lab during the BALCO investigation. No reports on disturbances of the baboon's shaving habits.

Jose Canseco cannot refrain from the bright lights and dark comments. Canseco appeared on Letterman to promote his new book 'Vindicated' He also accused the White Sox brass of knowing player like Maggs Ordonez juiced. The White Sox were not amused. Neither are MLB investigators who chased Canseco into a New York bathroom, nor the government who says they have Canseco and his pal Roger Clemens in compromising photos at the Florida party.

Relating to Roger Clemens, his ex-trainer -- and chief accuser -- Brain McNamee, put some Clemens memorabilia up for bidding on Ebay. The items brought over 4000.00. We at Steroid Nation want the Rocket's bloody syringes for the DNA (we aren't going to clone Clemens, really)

It was revealed last week that juiced-pro wrestler Chris Benoit's wife Nancy text-messaged him about 'roid rage before he went ultimate 'roid rage on everyone. Incredibly, Bill Romanowski did not go 'roid rage on the guy who Photo Shopped his head onto the Romo Raider body.

Ken Griffey Jr. said the professionalism he learned from his father prevented him from juicing. However, Griffey might object to the long term effects on muscle that unprofessional anabolic steroid users seem to acquire, as noted in scientific studies. Perhaps this steroid priming is needed for the anabolic effects of HGH for drug-cheating sluggers. Might these chronic changes contribute to those career home run records certain Bay Area players recently set. Or to the single season records set by Big Mac Missouri players in St Louis, where a state lawmaker says juicers should suffer consequences or else. Stay tuned, we might learn more about these juicy issues later in the summer.

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THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF DEC. 9

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

This week belonged to the much ballyhooed Mitchell Report -- the investigation of performance enhancing drugs in professional baseball that ex-Senator George Mitchell developed over 20 months and utilized 20 million dollars to complete. The reaction to Mitchell's probe was swift and often scathing.

Mitchell accepted a daunting task trying to uncover the shadowy, clandestine, world of steroid use among the tightly controlled cloistered fraternity of pro athletes. Perhaps he should have taken on something easy like locating Osama bin Laden.

Mitchell named about 89 current and former players who used PEDs (mostly anabolic steroids and/or HGH) which he felt could be documented with evidence. Mitchell's main sources was Kirk Radomski, the former Met clubhouse boy who turned steroid dealer and previous documents on BALCO. Radomski cooperated with Mitchell to save his skin some jail time, when he copped a plea from federal drug dealing convictions.

As a cynic commented:

"They've identified the low-hanging fruit. The odds are that many more are doing things."

We have read most of the over-400 page report, however the reading can be dense. Our preliminary take:

• In a detailed section, Mitchell traces MLB regulations on PED use. In hindsight, the MLB management appears to be naive and slow to act during the growing problem of PED use in baseball. In defense of the MLB front office, the sophistication of the drug-cheats out-distanced most baseball people, and most fans. MLB management wasn't the only party asleep at the wheel in this one. However, it is clear the intent of MLB was aimed at addressing the escalating arms race in PED use, although management moved deliberately slow on the issue.
• The MLB Player's Association, and the players themselves appear not to be the most cooperative group in this probe, and in the fight against PEDs in general. It would appear only one active MLB player -- Frank Thomas -- spoke to Mitchell about PED use. Mitchell exhibited a very combative tone in describing the non-cooperation of the MLBPA leadership. There were hints at someone - the MLBPA -- tipping off players before drug testing came to their town.
• Of the players named, the most spectacular 'new' names were: Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Miguel Tejada, Eric Gagne, David Justice, Paul Lo Duca, and Mo Vaughn. David Segui comes across as a congenial enabler for many players to sample PEDs. And the general sleazy back-alley dealings of the steroid-dealers, and juiced athletes calls for long hot showers for all.
• The Rocket, Roger Clemens, took the most explosive hit among the players. In the 5 pages devoted to Clemens and his trainer Brian McNamee, Clemens comes across as an experienced 'roider who found excellent pharmacological enhancement of his career from a needle and a syringe. According the the report, Clemens used a variety of anabolic steroids and HGH to fuel his rocket.
• Mitchell detailed recommendations to address this MLB culture of drug corruption. Among the more important included moving PED testing to an independent firm, not associated with the MLB management or the player's association. Mitchell also (as we did) recommended an independent arm of MLB to investigate PED use, much as police departments use independent arms to look at internal police corruption.

Reaction came swiftly from various camps. Roger Clemens's lawyer issued a denial (and a dog bit a man in New Jersey). Curt Schilling, meanwhile, says if Clemens is innocent he should sue that dog and everyone else with teeth.

Can anyone take anymore 'roid news? Probably not, however it is interesting to note that the Odd Couple - Victor Conte and Dick Pound -- met in New York this week. No word if Felix and Oscar joined the pair for dinner and revelry. Todd Sauerbrun went all rage on someone in Colorado. And lastly, Marion Jones was stripped naked of her Olympic records and medals.

Reports suggest Geroge Lucas begins work on a movie of the Mitchell report called..."Star Wards" featuring a non-detectable PED called 'the Force'. And may the Force be with you.

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