THE PROPHET'S TUESDAY TAPOUT: URINE SOAKED WINO EDITION

by The Prophet, ProphetFighting

Welcome to my second Tuesday Tapout from my new digs in the Rose City of Portland, OR. If you're wondering about the title of this edition of the Tapout, it'll probably make more sense to you if you were around for our live UFC 81 round by round over at Prophet Fighting. If you weren't, you can relive my remarks about how winos/bums/homeless dudes or whatever you want to call them are a "protected species" here in Rip City. Unfortunately (or maybe it's *not* unfortunate) I couldn't come up with a graphic to match the title of this edition. So I've posted a picture of Gina Carano at a weigh-in because I know that our fearless leader Doug will like it...

SUPERBOWL MEA CULPA:

Several days ago I posted a link to my Superbowl selection at BetWWX--a sports handicapping and betting information blog--where I'm a contributing writer. If any of you read that, I want to apologize for it. Not for getting the Superbowl side and total wrong--I was hardly the only one that missed it and it wasn't my fault that the New England Patriots become such an emotionally fragile bunch down the stretch. I want to apologize for even mentioning the 2007 Pats in the same breath as the greatest team in NFL history, the 1985 Chicago Bears. I read any number of articles prior to the game speculating how a matchup between Ditka's "Monsters of the Midway" and Belichick's 2007 Pats would go--I can tell you right now how it would go. It would be ugly. If Tom Brady and the Patriots fell apart under the weight of the NY Giants pass rush, how do you think it would go for them with Dan Hampton, Mike Singletary and the nastiest defense in NFL history breathing down their necks? Brady and Belichick would have been teabagged--not "metaphorically teabagged" but *literally* teabagged.

Someone suggested that the Pats downfall was pissing off the Giants by going ahead and titling the book about their season "19-0". It probably pissed them off, but if the Pats had any stones it wouldn't have mattered. This is another place where the 2007 Pats don't deserve to be in the same conversation as the 1985 Bears. The Bears, if you'll recall, basically called their shot with a horrible rap song and downright pitiful video called "Superbowl Shuffle". And they were such badasses that no one could do anything about it!

Now, I'm not a Pats hater or anything. I honestly could care less about them. And I'm not a Chicago homer (though I've always been a big fan of Jim McMahon) but you've got to be realistic here. Consider how the Pats sleepwalked into the Superbowl with a couple of lackluster performances--the '85 Bears won their playoff games to get to the Superbowl by a combined score of 45-0. Throw in the Superbowl result and that's a 91-10 combined score in the frickin' NFL playoffs! So much for parity...

The only thing the Pats did well on Sunday was play defense--at least until it counted with the game on the line. And while I'm at it, lets talk about Tom Brady....he's got the jewelry and seems like a good guy but he didn't exactly distinguish himself with his toughness on Sunday. While we're comparing the 1985 Bears to these Patriots let's not forget the quarterbacks--Jim McMahon (who attended one of my high school's big rivals, the Roy High School Royals in...uh...scenic...Roy, Utah). McMahon's teammates have said over and over again that they'd "go to war" with the guy--and they didn't mean they'd "play hard" for him. They LITERALLY meant they'd go to war with him. Brady throws a much better ball than McMahon could ever dream of, but Jimmy Mac had a bigger set of balls and sometimes that's the important thing.

And let's consider how the two men handled the media--Brady kept preening for the cameras as he campaigned for People Magazine's "Sexiest Man in America" award and kept answering questions about his wittle hurt ankle. McMahon played most of his career on knees that Bobby Orr wouldn't have wanted and don't forget how he dealt with the media when they were obsessing over a bruise on his ass before the 1985 Pro Bowl: he dropped his pants and showed them the "brown eye". If nothing else, McMahon deserves our respect for how he handled the situation when pulled over for suspicion of DUI in Florida a few years back: instead of arguing with the cop, instead of pulling the "do you know who I am card" he got out of his vehicle and told the cop "I'm drunk; you got me".

Again I'll state for the record that I'm not a Pats hater or anything--I'm more of a hater of unjustified media hype. And I apologize for doing my little part in perpetuating it.

UFC 81: BROCK LESNAR LOSES, ANTONIO RODRIGO NOGUEIRA BECOMES INTERIM HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP

At UFC 81--which I did another masterful job covering live over at ProphetFighting despite some barbaric working conditions--former WWE superstar Brock Lesnar lost his UFC debut when he got overly aggressive and made the mistake of dangling his ankle in the face of Frank Mir. Mir happens to be a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt and jumped on the ankle like a rabid wolverine jumping on a pork chop, forcing Lesnar to tap to a deep knee bar. Lesnar had dominated until that point and the match went much the same way as Mir's UFC heavyweight title win over Tim Sylvia a few years back--only Lesnar had the good sense to tap rather than wait for his limb to be broken in half like Sylvia did.

In the main event, the aforementioned Tim Sylvia used his height and reach advantage to keep Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira on the outside for a couple of rounds. Early in the third, however, "Minotauro" took Sylvia down and locked in an Anaconda choke forcing the tapout. Credit Sylvia from learning from the Mir loss; he had the presence of mind to tap before the Brazilian choked him into unconsciousness.

The big story of the night was Lesnar, who despite the loss showed a ton of promise. I wrote before the match that the man was no joke, and despite not beating a mudhole into Mir's face for the victory his performance only enhanced by belief that Brock is the real thing.

BARNETT/YOSHIDA SCHEDULED, MIRKO CRO COP NOT RETIRING:

In other MMA news, yet another new promotion launches in Japan with their first show scheduled for March 5th. "World Victory Road", who hopes to emulate the top notch matchups and lame organization name that PRIDE set the standard for, will feature a matchup between judo badass Hidehiko Yoshida and arguably my favorite MMA fighter, the "Baby Faced Assassin" Josh Barnett. Don't be fooled by Yoshida's 7-5 record as a MMA pro: he was basically thrown in over his head from the beginning of his MMA career to capitalize on his huge popularity in Japan. The guy fought Don Frye--maybe the toughest man walking the face of the earth--in his MMA debut! Yoshida is a legit legend in his sport and basically one of the most respected judoka walking the face of the earth. They don't just give away Olympic Gold Medals in judo and Yoshida has one.

Josh Barnett is on a short list of the top heavyweight MMA fighters in the world. He's a former UFC heavyweight champion and went on to an impressive career in PRIDE after that. If you're wondering why he's not in the UFC now it's because Dana White doesn't like him. Really.

This should be a great fight--Barnett is a wrestling monster and I think his size and strength, along with his wide array of submissions, gives him the edge. There's no doubt that Yoshida will show up to fight since he's about the toughest SOB anywhere--after all he had the balls to fight Don Frye in his first MMA bout. He's been in since with a veritable who's who of the sport--the freakishly large and strong James Thompson, Mirko Cro Cop, Wanderlei Silva (twice), Frye, Royce Gracie and Mark Hunt. In other words, he's not going to be intimidated and this has the potential to be a fight of the year candidate.

Here's the latest from our Croatian MMA insider--if you watched Dana White's post UFC 81 press conference you heard him say that Mirko Cro Cop has essentially been MIA. The f-bomb spewing head of the UFC said that he hadn't heard from Team Cro Cop since his last fight and that the Croatian striking machine had until yesterday--the ever diplomatic White called it a "deadline"--to let him know his plans. White insinuated that Cro Cop might retire and this became a big story in the online MMA media and in Mirko's home country. Problem is nobody told Cro Cop about the deadline--he told the Croatian media that he didn't know what Dana White was talking about, that he'd been in touch with the UFC offices in Las Vegas and that he was in training and ready to fight anyone put in front of him. You can read more about this at ProphetFighting by clicking the link below:

Dana White says Cro Cop might retire; Cro Cop says "Whaaaa?" @ ProphetFighting

BACK LATER THIS WEEK WITH BONUS PROPHET PONTIFICATION!

Dammit...I'm all out of time and I didn't get a chance to tell you about my run-in with a couple of urine soaked winos. I want to apologize for getting preoccupied with the MMA news and neglecting to cover what you *really* come here for--to hear about me, my life, and my philosophies of life. To rectify that I'll be back later this week with a bonus column. If I can think of a good alliterative, MMA related word that starts with a "W" I may be back as soon as tomorrow; otherwise it'll be a special "Thursday Tapout"...or a "Friday Frontkick". Anyway, just pay attention...

To stay up to date on the world of boxing and MMA go to ProphetFighting

Visit my Eastern Europe correspondant Edo's site, where you gambling degenerates out there can get wagering tips and advice. It's called BetWWX

Get ready for my forthcoming MMA super center site, "The Savage Science". If "Tuesday Tapout" is a 24 hour adult video store, and "ProphetFighting" is a swanky fightsport commentary boutique then "The Savage Science" will be like a big ass Wal-Mart. Actually, it'll be more of a Target since they have better stuff. You can join the SavSci mailing list by clicking the link below, or by visiting our MySpace profile and "friend-ing" us:

JOIN THE SAVAGE SCIENCE EMAIL LIST!!

VISIT THE SAVAGE SCIENCE MYSPACE PROFILE!!

Until next time, keep the bugs off your glass and bugs off your ass. (I hear CB lingo is due for a big comeback)

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FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: WARRICK DUNN, ROLE MODEL

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

Welcome to the next stage of my continuing exploration of athletes, the choices they make and the unfortunate lack of stories we find in the media about those who actually deserve our attention. Originally, I was going to call this the end of my run in this area, but instead, I am extending a challenge and an invitation.

Instead of packing this up and in a way defeating my own thoughts, I am challenging those of you who cruise through the blogosphere and find this piece to add comments and lobby in a way for more stories like this, as they really are the type of stories that need to be told. Show that instead of wanting to spend hours discussing the latest violent incident or irresponsible athlete, you want to read more about the athletes who are making a difference with the fame and fortune their athletic prowess has afforded them.

The invitation is to The Powers That Be here at Epic Carnival, to give me a platform to continue this segment. Some may call it self-serving, lobbying for another weekly spot to publish my thoughts, but this isn't about my writing; it's about showcasing those athletes who are worthy of our admiration not only for their performances on the field, but off the field as well. This is about giving respect to the athletes who are role models that the youth of today can look up to. Athletes like Warrick Dunn.

Name: Warrick De'Mon Dunn
Born: January 5, 1975 in Baton Rouge, LA
Running Back, Atlanta Falcons

Betty Smothers was a long-time member of the Baton Rouge Police Force, who worked tireless hours including off-duty jobs to provide for her family. Her dream was to own her own house.

On January 7, 1993 while working off-duty escorting a businesswoman to the bank, Betty Smothers was ambushed and killed. Her son Warrick was a high school senior at the time. Two days removed from his 18th birthday he became the head of the house.

After an impressive career at Florida State - Single Season Rushing Record (1,242 yards), Career Rushing Leader (3,959 yards), retired #28 jersey - the skeptics started picking apart Warrick Dunn.

He was too small. He couldn't take the pounding of the NFL on a weekly basis. He wouldn't be a feature back. What they didn't look at was his heart and his motivation. Had they looked there, they would have seen that failure wasn't an option.

Dunn started proving people wrong right off the bat, winning the 1997 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year and becoming the "Lightning" to Mike Alstott's "Thunder" in the Tampa Bay backfield. Ten years later, Dunn is still proving people wrong.

Earlier this season he eclipsed the 10,000 yard mark in career rushing yards, making him only the third player 5'9" or under to do so. All those pundits who predicted his body wouldn't stand up have been proven wrong too, as Dunn has missed only 10 games over the course of his career.

Right now, Warrick Dunn is 23rd on the All-Time Rushing List and 25th on the All-Purpose Yards List. But I would wager that those achievements aren't the ones that mean the most to Warrick Dunn.

As soon as he was drafted, Dunn began the Warrick Dunn Foundation and began the Homes for the Holidays program, which honours his mother's unrealized dream of homeownership for single mother families.

To date, Homes for the Holidays has provided 69 single mothers and 181 children with first-time homeownership, which Dunn sees as "the foundation for establishing a stable and productive family environment, an environment in which children can thrive educationally, socially and economically." I couldn't agree more.

For his efforts, Dunn was awarded the 2005 NFL Walter Payton Award, named after the late Bears great and honouring the player who excels both on the field and in their community. But it doesn't stop there with Dunn.

Following Hurricane Katrina, the Baton Rouge native challenged every NFL player, except the members of the New Orleans Saints, to donate $5,000 to help in the relief effort. So far, Dunn has received over $5,000,000 in contributions.

On the field, Warrick Dunn is an inspiration to anyone who has been told they will never make it. He's excelled where many athletes expected to fair far better have failed. Off the field, he is making his mother's dream come true for families in Baton Rouge, Tampa and Atlanta, and using his fame and fortune to affect positive change.

These are the stories we should be telling. These are the athletes we should be discussing. This is just the first of many... hopefully.

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